Of Men, Women, and Dollar Bills

A female friend of mine recently asked me this question, and, being severly abnormal in my male sensitivity, it awakened my curiosity as to the answers of many people.

Males: Suppose that you have a girlfriend or other Significant Other. (This may be more or less of a stretch, depending on who you are.) Suppose, also, that you have a fondness for strip clubs. Suppose she asked you not to go to these clubs, but did not elaborate on why. Would you think it a reasonable request? What would you do?

As for myself, I would certainly stop for the time being, but I would also try and discover why she objected – if she felt worried that I would start to make comparisons. (Plus, with the kind of free-spirit personality I find attractive, she’d probably want to go with me.)


Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage

I think it’d be reasonable if she asked that I not go to them on a regular basis. But if a friend’s bachelor party involved one, I’d tell her about it, assuring her that nothing would happen, then go.

Then again, maybe she’s asking because she’s been working there to make money to buy you a nice Christmas present, and she doesn’t want the surprise ruined.

Some men solve that dilemma by growing up.

A female perspective…take her with you once or twice, she will see it for the cheesy, harmless, male-bonding activity for which it is. Keep in mind, however, that she may then dump you for being rather mindless, not to mention a bit of a pushover. As long as you are not in it for the long haul, meaningless, shallow relationships can be quite good fun once in a while.

I love strip joints, and I don’t care who knows it. Women who feel threatened by strip joints need to go sometime; it’ll take a lot of the stigma off.

Back to the title of this thread, I’m a bit concerned about the coming US dollar coin; there’s been some talk that the dollar bill may be pulled in favor of the coin. If that happens, how the HELL are we fellas supposed to tip strippers? There’s something mighty intimate about slipping a dollar bill under a garter; are the girls gonna have to start dancing with coin belts on?

Personally, I wouldn’t care, since I don’t go to those anyway.

Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide.
Maréchal Lyautey

Well, now that Arnold’s little Superior Dance is finished, anyone wanna post something useful?

Frankly, I couldn’t give two shakes of a fuck whether any man I date goes to strip joints. If he spends a good portion of his paychecks there, that becomes a problem, but mainly one of irresponsibility than anything else.

If I had a man who liked strip joints, I wouldn’t mind going with him every now and then and buying him lap dances, just to see the look on his face. I don’t think I’d have a problem with it at all. People say that strip clubs are degrading to women, and I wholeheartedly disagree. They’re degrading to MEN. Hell, you guys are the ones blowing money on a chick who won’t be blowing you later…

I’m with Drain Bead. My primary bitch would be if he continually went without me. I like the lapdance idea. When I was in New Orleans with my ex, I tried like hell to get him to go into a place that had a big sign reading “Wash the woman of your choice!” I even offered to pay for it. He was a weenie, and refused.

A girlfriend that pays your stripclub bills. My standards for the ideal woman have just ratcheted upwards.

I think that it is a reasonable request of a woman to ask a man not to frequent a boob bar on a regular basis, the same way it would be a reasonable request of a man to ask a woman not to go shopping, or to the salon, or whatever leisure she enjoys on a regular basis. The primary reason being financial.
I have been with my SO for 6 years, our VERY FIRST date was a go-go bar, and we go at least once every couple months, sometimes together, sometimes alone (My sister is a dancer as well as several of my friends, so to me it’s just a bar where I can hang out with my freinds.) Women have no reason to fear these places. But the drinks do tend to be pricier and the ladies do expect dollar bills at the least. That can run a bit high if done frequently. Keep it to an occaisonal thing and I think most women shouldn’t have a problem.

so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos

OK, MaxT, I suppose my post did sound priggish.

I wanted to make the point that, although some people seem to assume that every man is dying to go see women strip, some people don’t crave it.

Like Arnold, I don’t do strip joints (no uppity moral thing, it’s just that when you’re hungry you don’t necessary want to pay to watch people cooking steak).

But if I did and my girlfriend requested that I not do so, I would want to know more about why. I wouldn’t ask her not do so something that she enjoyed, at least nothing I can think of. (I might ask her to do certain things when I’m not around if they weren’t my idea of fun).

Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post

Padeye sez…

Some men solve that dilemma by growing up. [\quote]
Well, aren’t we the mature one? Are you one of the ones too mature to do ‘the wave’ at a sporting event? It’s been said already, in moderation, what’s the big deal? I’ve been once or twice in the last couple of years. Never by myself, it’s a guy/group thing. Just a change in the scenery. My wife can’t wait to go to a he/she strip joint when friends of ours (married couple) come in to town. But, all bets are off now, I didn’t realize I was being imature.

MaxTorque sez…

I think I know the answer to that. While at an establishment a few years ago, a friend of mine only had a credit card, but no cash. They put a charge on his credit card, and game him the cash… a portion of which was in ‘dancer bucks’. Sort of like using tokens for video games, I guess.

Damnit, I guess I was too imature to close my quote correctly. Sorry about that.

If I didn’t go to strip clubs, I wouldn’t have any friends.

But seriously, I love them. A lot of the bartenders give me free drinks for being a chic and the bouncers will tell me which of my friends are about to be kicked out so I can warn them.

The strippers themselves are wonderful people and they totally love it when women tip them. I think all women should go to a strip club at least once to remove qualms or concerns.

P.S. I totally agree with the comment that strip clubs really degrade men.

Formerly unknown as “Melanie”

I haven’t been to a strip club in years…mostly due to lack of access…and now that I’m in Virginia…about the only thing they have around here are Go-Go bars…and if I wanna see a woman in a bathing suite, I’ll head to the beach.

But I did enjoy it when I did have access to it. I was one of the guys that didn’t sit in the front row…just kinda hung out…got to know the dancers…and find out a lot of things I didn’t know.
It can be fun, if done in moderation…like anything else…including drinking…My So hasn’t really said anything about it, but if she didn’t want me to go, I really would want to know why…

Gosh, a lot of people have to stretch their imaginations on the ‘wanting to go to strip clubs’ part. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted this in the Island of Sanity that is the Straight Dope. Or maybe I should have posted a link to here from the Guy Stuff thread.

I do agree that the “look but don’t touch” element makes it kind of futile to go to a strip club. If you were to show me a picture of a woman flashing in Wrigley Field, the first thing I’d look at was the little scoreboard up in the corner.


Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage

I agree that strip joints are harmless unless

  1. you spend more than you can afford.
  2. You pay more attention to your club relationship than your real life one (these places are fantasy where, not only do you see naked chicks, but you can be anyone you want in there. you can be an investment banker or novelist, or daredevil.) I’ve seen some people get carried away.
  3. and this one is more personal. If I found myself going alone, then it’s time to reevaluate.

The problems i’ve seen over the should/should not go debate, is when a girl says “you can’t go”! Never say this to a guy, even if you’re right, it only makes him want to go more. but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to talk to your man about it and come to some compramise.

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

Live and let live. I find Chippendales totally boring, but my husband didn’t bitch when my friend came over and kidnapped me to go to one of the shows. A few months earlier, I’d gone out to meet up with some of my guy friends (at a strip club) and one of them bought me a lap dance, just to see what my reaction would be. It’s all good. Byron didn’t bitch about that either.

If my husband is going ALL THE TIME, I’m going to assume that I’m obviously not what he’s looking for. But if it’s once in while, who cares? After all, he has no idea what I’m doing to entertain myself in his absence. :wink:

“…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…”
–Jack Kerouac, On the Road