Why is my boyfriend so disgusted with the fact that I was curious about a male strip club?

My boyfriend and I just had a “discussion” that started with whether magic mushrooms are legal in Amsterdam and how he “was going to add that to his bucket list”, I replied to that with " if that’s the case then I will cross something off of mine: going to a male strip club". He expressed disgust at my curiosity at going simply because I have never gone and figured I would before judging them harshly or not. He kept going back to me only wanting to see people naked, when I expressed that it was simple curiosity, he said that we might as well just go see dancers because they do not get naked. As I noticed that, that was what he got hung up on, I told him that I was not interested in their bodies but just the fact that I have never gone, I also told him that if it bothered him that much that I would simply not go.

I don’t think “disgusted” is the proper response to your comment but what you are saying really doesn’t make any sense. It’s like saying you want to go to a library but have no interest in the books, you are just curious.

I’ll chime in quickly here. My response to the OP would be that he is being a classic sexist male. “It’s okay for me, I’m a guy. But you!??”

Nope. If I, as a healthy hetero male, want to go to a place where naked women abound, you (I presume a healthy hetero female) should feel just as entitled or allowed or whatever.

I’ve seen this so many times in my (62) years that it’s offensive when I’m exposed to it. I suppose that’s why I’m responding. As my sister would say: “You go girl.”

Dump him.

looks at username and join date

Now tells another story…something with waaaay too much personal info…

It’s a normal, guy thing, trust me on this. We don’t feel that our girlfriends should be going to these kinds of things, especially in our relationship.

I would imagine that most women would be upset if their boyfriends wanted to peruse strip clubs with hot dancers, as it would indicate that they are unsatisfied with the relationship they’re currently in.

For us, it would be the same. Also, if you’re not “interested in” the male dancers’ bodies and just want to be there since you’ve never gone before, then that would kind of defeat the whole purpose for going there, wouldn’t it? That seems like a dubious reason, which probably why your boyfriend had such a visceral reaction.

No it’s not. What is with all these broad-brush generalizations? Insecurity, hypocrisy and a need to control are not “normal guy things”.

I don’t know, it could make sense. Lots of libraries are magnificent buildings. I could go into one and appreciate the architecture and never pick up a book. Sometimes when I drop my friend off at the airport I stroll around a bit; kind of enjoy it even if I’m not flying anywhere.

Agreed, except I don’t see that the OP said anything about her boyfriend saying it was okay for him to do it, but not her. Maybe he’s never been to a female strip club, either.

Your characterization of her boyfriend as being insecure and a control freak are judgmental and false. Of course he is going to be mad that his girlfriend wants to go to a male strip club, as it shows that she is not satisfied with what he is giving him, even if he’s giving her his all, which just makes her evidently selfish.

As a guy myself, I’ll tell you that this is a guy thing, and there’s nothing hypocritical about not wanting your girl going to see male strippers. There really isn’t.

What really made him angry was probably her bald-faced lie that she wasn’t interested in the male strippers’ bodies, but that she just wanted to go there since she hadn’t been there before. We all know the purpose of strip clubs, and the fact she lied to his face about her motivations reasonably set him off.

I think someone could want to go see a strip club without having any particular desire to see naked bodies. Strip clubs are an experience unlike any other place and they are subject to a lot of wild stories. I can easily see someone just wanting to see what it’s like for themselves.

My answer - go to both. I’ve been to male and female oriented strip clubs. A lot? No. But I satisfied curiosity and had fun with friends. If a boyfriend had a problem with that, nay, if a boyfriend couldn’t participate - we couldn’t hang for long anyway.

How many male strip clubs are there besides gay ones? There are Chippendale in some cities but I have never run across them in real life.

OTOH, most cities of any size have female strip clubs where it isn’t uncommon to see heterosexual couples. I have only been to (female) strip clubs a few times in nearby Rhode Island but it is a little known fact that little Rhode Island has some of the most liberal strip club laws in the country and some are full-service in every sense of the word as long as you have the money.

Still, couples go and some of the women customers seem to like the ambiance and dance routines. In some other states, there is either only topless nudity or no real nudity at all.

I hear that most women aren’t very attracted to full nudity so you would basically be looking at a fit guy in a modified Speedo dance around while other women scream. That certainly isn’t my thing but some people find it fun.

I don’t think it is a problem that you want to go to a male strip-club for the experience at least once. It isn’t like you are signing up for a gang-bang. It is closer to going to a circus.

It is very common for men to go to female strip clubs on business trips or even just with their friends. There isn’t anything deeply psychological behind it. Guys just like looking at boobs and girls in skimpy clothes. That is why Hooters is a national chain despite featuring no nudity.

You could just tell him that you two can split up for the night and you can go to a male strip club and he can go to a female one. Otherwise, he can come with you to a male strip club (no hetero guy will take you up on that deal I promise).

There was a hetero nude-male strip club that opened in Atlanta (it took the place of a hetero nude-female strip club). It closed after about a year and went back to being girls girls girls!

Too small a sample size to say if that says anything about the gender divide in strip clubs.

It’s not a guy thing. It’s insecurity. If your partner wanted to spend a lot of time going to the strip club or it was interfering with your relationship then it’s a problem. But some one-time girls night, or a bachlorette party. Go get him I’ll buy you a dance. Going to a strip club has nothing to do with satisfaction in a relationship.

Oh my. Can I ask if you have a wife or girlfriend?

I’ll have to notify a lot of my friends about their being in the wrong kind of marriages…

Got a girlfriend, we’ve been dating for four years.

Lucky gal.

Ouch. What was that for? Don’t presume I’m a bad boyfriend because of my aversion to the idea of my girlfriend going to a male strip club. I’m happy to tell you none of us have ever gone to strip clubs for satisfaction—we don’t need to.

In the interests of ticking off all boxes, someone should mention there is a genre of porn that claims to be real footage of women watching a strip tease, then things kick off and the stripper gets busy with lots of the women.
Obviously it’s not real, but regardless of whether he thinks it is, that might be a contributing factor to the feeling of insecurity.

But generally, being uncomfortable about this is pretty typical. If I’m with my gf and a hawt woman walks by, I know from experience I must not glance in her direction (and if my gf asks “Do you think that girl is sexy?”, the right answer is “What girl?”). Let alone going to a place where the whole purpose is to see hot women.

It isn’t a “guy” thing, it’s a “you” thing and though your attitude is certainly not uncommon your additional comments in this post scream “insecurity” and “jealousy” to me. I don’t like the idea of a strip club but I’m well able to imagine people wanting to go in order to be titillated and turned on without it ever spilling over into actually wanting to fuck the dancers.

If I go to see a performance of “Aida” it isn’t because I’m dissatisfied with my wife humming in the kitchen.

To the best of my knowledge my wife has never been to a strip club of any type (and vice versa) but if we chose to neither would automatically assume that it was due to inadequacy on the part of the other. Mainly because we talk about such things and have grown-up conversations about what floats our boats.