I overheard this yesterday. I can’t help but wonder what sort of tactical errors are being committed. And I wonder how this affects the person’s overall strategy?
Thoughts?
I overheard this yesterday. I can’t help but wonder what sort of tactical errors are being committed. And I wonder how this affects the person’s overall strategy?
Thoughts?
Oh, c’mon, you know - forgetting to pull the pants down, forgetting to raise the lid on the toilet sea, sitting on the trash can…
Really, doesn’t everybody do this?
Y’know, all the time?
Splattering on the exposed rear portion of the bowl (instead of a nice gentle water landing).
Failure to properly align one’s anus with the hole in the seat.
Bearing down too soon, and spraying all over the tank (or wall behind the toilet if no tank).
Bearing down to hard so as to fire the turds forcefully into the water, causing backsplash.
Selecting a toilet/restroom that would not be one’s first choice under less urgent circumstances. See for example Trainspotting.
Straining too hard and causing tears or fissures to form or increase in the anal mucosa. This can cause heavy bleeding too.
Straining so hard as to cause a reflex fall in blood pressure and resultant loss of consciousness.
Inducing a fatal arrhythmia by straining too hard.
You guys never see the dark side of poor planning/bad tactics for BMs. I do.
:eek:
Like I didn’t have enough to worry about!
apparently I am not as old as I thought because I didn’t realize there was “strategy” involved.
as for Qadgop’s post, let’s all remember that oatmeal and fruit are our friends. in so many ways…
It’s amazing how many of the “grandma passed out” 9-1-1 calls have her located on the toilet when it happened. No one wants to see grandma that way.
Proper planning prevents poor poop performance.
The bottom line, people, is we’re losing the Toilet War.
There’s a reason some stalls have handles on the walls, to brace yourself while straining vigorously, as for backsplash…an old logger once said after a night of rye he made ‘islands’ out of folded tp which absorbed the initial torrent
Now that is a well-thought-out mission, a great tactician if ever there was one.
I do check to see if there’s a square to spare.
Wiping back to front?
Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion?
Magazines 2 years out of date?
Who does Number 2 work for?
I have heard of folded TP dropped into the water like that as a “life raft.”
This seemed appropriate for this thread.
Link is to a facebook post directed to Charmin from a poor lost soul stuck in the bathroom due to a lack of toilet paper. Definitely a tactical error.
Isn’t that what happened to Elvis Presley?
How about when you think you’re all finished, wiped yourself nice and clean, pulled your pants up, buckled your belt, and whammo! Here comes another van with a load of kids to drop off at the pool.
I usally forget to make sure I have toilet paper handy.
This explains the condition of the typical gas station restroom.
that’s simply because when you use a western-style crapper, your “tailpipe” doesn’t point down. it points rearward. probably why squat toilets are the norm elsewhere.