Hey Welby1, I like your version better. As for the rest, my mom complemented me one time by saying (to my sister) "He’s mean but he’s not evil!
I suspect that there is an underground movement afoot. They are likely known as Nazi Groundhogs. I suspect that they recruited Mandy in hopes that the extra donut will fatten Scylla up and allow him to be defeated.
Not sure why, but this line just cracked me up:
(it’s not like she paid for it though. I’m sure she just stole it.)
HA!
You must keep us updated on any further donut developments.
La Isla Bonita.
Ha! That reminds me of a song one of our local singer/songwriter/funnymen does around here. It’s called “she slipped me a roofie,” and basically, this nice, unassuming guy gets slipped a date rape drug by this girl at a bar, wakes up the next morning at her place, and there’s a note on the table saying she had to go out, but he can help himself to a cup of coffee.
So, he’s walking down the street with a cup of coffee, and starts to feel wierd and he realises…
She slipped me a roofie…
and I don’t know what happened next,
she slipped me a roofie in my morning coffee…
Man Scylla, you are in a rough spot. She’s 19ish? Maybe she’ll be going away to college or something like that soon?
Might be a good time to switch to eclairs. Or not.
Sounds like KGB to me, Scylla. One of these days, she’s gonna confront you with photographs showing you accepting all that stolen dough, and give you a choice: go to the slammer, or work for the Russkies.
Turn yourself in now, before it’s too late.
Daniel
It’s that Sebring.
Poor Mandy. She never had a chance.
She’s fattening you up for Thanksgiving dinner.
Last night I dreamt I switched to bagels.
Why won’t she start giving me just two, not three?
a young girl with eyes like a cruller
It just happened yesterday, and it’ll happen today
Tropical the coconut
Shove the third one up your butt
I don’t need this kind of guff
La Isla of Bagels
And if it doesn’t stop
I’m gonna call the cops
Donut stalker- gotta stop
Your freebies gotta go!
There was a young lady named Mandy
Whose donuts were sweeter than candy.
…She found that our Scylla
…Was some lady-killer.
Just seeing him made her feel randy.
[Homer]…mmmmm… stalking…[/Homer]
Wow, Scylla!
I have had the exact same experience! Every detail!
Well, almost every detail.
I walked into the donut store, cause I don’t have a convertible.
And I don’t wear suits, so the girl commented on my tee shirts.
And I don’t order the same donuts. (coconut? YUCK!)
And the girl was actually a whole lot older. She was even older than me.
And she wasn’t all that pretty, either.
And she didn’t flirt, really.
And I am fat, and all the donuts probably did effect that.
But really, it was exactly the same, other than that.
I got free donuts.
Mmmmmmmmmmm, donuts.
Tris
Oh, and her name wasn’t Mandy. It was Lucille. So I got a better song.
You know, this reminds me of this situation with my dad and a place called Java Junction. Apparently this little drive-through coffe hut is operated by a score of nubile 20 year old girls. Apparently my dad tips them generously, so they act particularly flirtacious. They know what he always orders- hell when they see him start to drive up they have it ready for him before he says anything! And even when he orders something different, often times it is ‘accidentally’ one size bigger than what he ordered. Of course when I’m along they don’t give me the flirty looks or small talk. They’d rather hit on somebody more than twice their age. Yep, its all about money and power 
Aw, Scylla, you might just be her favorite customer. I know that when I served food for a living, so many people were such jerks that a regular customer who was nice had a special place in my heart, and I would do nice, small extra things for them. The management knew, and didn’t mind, since these were regular customers. If it was a good looking guy, so much the better, that was just icing on the cake. On a bad day, the thought of these customers could get me through a shift without my being hauled away for assault.
Just in case she’s actually pursuing you, you could say something like, “Oh, and do you have any of those lemon custard ones? Those are my wife’s favorite!” But my bets are she’s just doing a little extra for a customer who makes her day just a little bit less unpleasant.
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
With four hundred children
And a crop in the field”
That one?
That’s: four hungry children. Damn it, do it right!
But then it’s not as funny!
No.
“Lucille!
Why don’t you do your daddy’s will!”
That one.
Tris
As someone who has had an encounter in a bakery, I’d suggest you not be so quick to discount a solution to your problem that involves Mandy, a rubber spatula, and white cream.