Evidently, a team of scientists whose purpose in life is to make me even more insecure has found a strong correlation between a delayed loss of virginity and a whole host of sexual dysfunctions. They’re not sure whether waiting to lose one’s virginity until your early twenties causes these dysfunctions, or if it’s just that people who’re prone to them also tend to find it hard to get laid earlier. Either way - splendid!
I’m a 24-year-old virgin, and I hardly needed a crack team of medical scientists to tell me I’m unlikely to be any great shakes in the sack. But ye gods, this is just plain depressing. I’m long past being some college kid who thinks sex is the most important thing in life - but it would be nice to think that when I finally do manage to get into a relationship that includes something more than hand-holding, I won’t be pathologically inept above and beyond the ineptitude caused by normal inexperience.
Gah. Maybe it ain’t so - even if the scientists are right and there is a statistical correlation here, I’m sure they’d be the first to admit that these are just general trends, exceptions to the trends are likely, and so forth. But it rings true - especially the bits about a fear of intimacy and so forth leading both to delayed “sexual debut” and performance problems afterwards.
Lousy science. What has it ever given us? Pauses for a Pythonesque beat Okay, other than medicine, electricity, the airplane, computers, architecture, and an understanding of the natural world that’s made the human race unquestioned masters of all we survey, what has science ever given us?
It’s trite, but correlation doesn’t equal causation. If you noticed, they also sound a similar effect among those first to lose their virginity, so I sincerely doubt that this is a causal relationship. There are a number of other larger and smaller social factors that age of first intercourse is associated with.
Agreed - but my point is that the correlation alone is troubling, because it suggests, regardless of the causal relationship, that I’m likely to suffer the same problems as other guys who lose their virginity after age 23 or so.
Seems like another FUD article. I lost my virginity at 25. Granted, I’m only 35 now, but at this particular moment I’m perfectly functional and forsee no issues. More importantly, unless more concrete, unambiguous evidence surfaces, I’m not going to give it much credence.
Yeah, for Christ’s sake, dude, just go get laid. And if I were in your position I would have absolutely no reservations about using an escort service or something, either - it’s better to just get it out of the way and get some experience than to be all hung up on the “special experience” of the first time. I’d take a vacation to some Asian country and just fuck my brains out.
I’d suspect that obesity is correlated with delayed loss of virginity, and it is correlated with impotence as are various other unhealthy life choices (smoking, drug use, etc.) which could, again, push off the likelihood of finding someone who will sleep with you. This is probably what you are seeing–albeit in a more round-about way.
That seems like the key point to me.
If you’re purposely avoiding sex because of some sort of psychological hangup about sex being dirty or afraid of intimacy (for example), then that hangup is likely to continue to cause problems later on in sexual relationships. No big surprise there. Might be a good idea to talk to a therapist if you suspect this is your issue.
But if you’re just waiting for the right person or circumstance to come up, then I don’t think this applies to you. And there’s no reason you can’t be good in the sack in those circumstances.
By the way, it can also be bad for your sexual relationships if a girl figures out that she got genital herpes or HPV from you, so for that kind of reason I DON’T think that going to an escort (who most likely is riddled with disease) is a very good solution.
What everyone else (and the article) said. I think the thing to do after you ‘lose it’ is practice, practice, practice. Otherwise, if you’ve waited for the ‘right person’ and plan on marrying them, you’re not bringing that much experience or skill to the equation and may blame any inadequacies or hang ups solely on them.
From the article:
FYI some of the coolest people I know had sex for the first time in their 20s. Not religious, not asexual, just busy with school and work and very, very picky. And, for women, the virgins in school were actually much more likely to have orgasms (by themselves) and know about sex (only the sexually active ones wanted to know if they couldn’t get pregnant on top or use ziploc bags. shudder)
Good point - maybe I should start introducing myself by my DoperName.