I was picturing the whole bondage seen with her. I like.
As stated earlier, there are two types of women:
- Those I want to have sex with
- Those who want to have sex with me
There’s not a lot of overlap in those two groups, but it hasn’t mattered in awhile. Group 1 was always (and still is) several orders of magnitude larger than group 2.
My sex drive was decoupled from my marriage drive. Little more than human, female, and breathing is needed to engage my sex drive. My relationship / marriage drive demanded higher standards (in just about every category). Luckily, I found a lady in that overlapping category who met all my standards and married her. While my sex drive still gets frequently engaged, the emergency brakes never come off (which, I suppose, is better than the frequent crashing into a wall I did previously).
At first I couldn’t understand what was so outrageous about the second statement… then I realized it didn’t say “I saw you on another woman” like I somehow misread it to. 
I’ve got another question for the gents if alice_in_wonderland doesn’t mind. Let’s assume she doesn’t.
Common wisdom has it that women instantly “know” if they’d ever consider sleeping with a guy they’ve met, or if they never will. I don’t find it to be instant personally, but within a month or two I’ve usually got a decent idea if the guy is going to forever be on my big mental list of never ever.
So the question is this: how long does it take for the gents to know if the woman in question is for marrying or just fucking? Do you have to know her well, or do you figure it out around the time you decide that you’d do her one way or the other? In other words, does figuring she’s the “marrying type” something you realize before or only after you feel squishy feelings like love?
How long to decide whether she’s fuckworthy? I don’t know if they’ve developed a way to measure that small a period of time.
How long to decide if she’s marriageworthy? Depends on the chemistry (I mean personality, not physical chemistry.) Some couples mesh so well that a long-term relationship is inevitable (my group knew who one of our friends would marry three years before he did.) Sometimes it’s a more complicated mix of personality, goals, world view and other layers that need to be uncovered over time.
It also depends on whether the guy is looking for a long-term relationship (in which case he’s more likely to bypass the normal selection process) or whether he’s trying to avoid it (in which case the discussion is moot.)
I think there is still some confusion here.
There is a set of women that a man will not have sex with…they have horrible scars, are relatives, are underage, in a nursing home, live under a highway overpass and smell of urine, have no teeth, whatever.
Then there are women a man will have sex with. Now, this is a pretty large group, but 98% of the time there’s no point in doing any more than checking them out as they walk by. So out of the 2% of women that you actually have a shot with, there is still a pretty large number that aren’t marriage material. But the marriage material women are a subset of the above women.
Maybe you don’t want marriage…then no woman is “the kind that you marry”. Maybe you have different life goals. Maybe she’s got “quirks”, as mentioned above, that make sex piquant but shared finances and shelter contraindicated. And so on.
But the thing is, even though the subset of women that you’d have sex with is very large compared to the subset of those women you’d marry, the subset of women you actually CAN have sex with is not very large compared to the number of women you would have sex with, either. So the subset of the women you could imagine marrying is a subset of the women you have a shot with which is a subset of the women you’d sleep with if only you could, which is a subset of all women.
I always thought that the premise was that the marriageable women were definitely fuckable, but hadn’t been the totally wild, screw-most-any-guy type of woman that fall into the fuckable woman category for guys. In other words, the guy wanted an at least semi-“nice” gal who hadn’t screwed as many guys as he had screwed gals. (A touch of hypocrisy, in other words, good for the gander but not the goose.)
Well, first off, this: women with glasses? Rowwwwrr
I think you could fairly restate this as there are two kinds of men:
- the kind of men who sleep with women they don’t respect (or possibly even like)
- the kind that don’t
Do I know you? 
When discussing this subject, I’m always reminded of the movie scene from… the Godfather? Goodfellas?.. some mob movie where the mobster defends his practice of keeping a mistress because his wife kisses his children with her mouth.
Analyze This, maybe?
My system is a little strange. There’s datable vs. non-datable, then there’s fuckable vs. non-fuckable. The lines amongst the camps are blurred and deserve a Venn diagram.
I would also posit that 98% of the populace is undatable. Yes, I’m picky. I’m not going to spend a significant amount of time with a woman that isn’t very pretty and very smart. Of course, the needle moved further along those categories will make up for the deficiency of the other.
Ideally, we’re looking for a runway model that has the libido of a porn kitten that juggles her Fields Medal and Nobel Peace Prize.
Of course, what would she want with a loser like me? I can give you a few reasons, but they’re not palatable for general consumption.
My boyfriend and I were talking about this just yesterday. We’ve been dating for 3 months, and I’m his 3rd longest relationship. The other two were 4 and 5 years, respectively, so he either commits, or it ends in >a month. The rest were girls that he’d fuck but not marry, and I use marry in the sense of make a long-term monogamous commitment to.
What’s the difference? I guess the girls he just fucked were not so much chosen just to fuck but self-eliminated from the possibility of a long-term relationship by being crazy, having some sort of serious problem like alcoholism, or having a FUBAR personal life. Most of them got a chance to be a LTR, but blew it in the post-sex getting-to-know-you period. So, they were fine for sex but not fine for marriage.
That’s sick! :eek:
As far as there being a non-intersection of girls you’d fuck and girls willing to fuck you, well… Welcome to my world. Lube is in the left, tissues are on the right.
The Palm Sisters do get around, don’t they?
Mostly they just stay home.
Yes there are two types of women.
Those that have rejected me in the past.
Those that will reject me in the future.
Huh? Of course.
Don’t tell me that women don’t apply this dichotomy to men as well.
I think it’s more that everybody is driven to fuck, and the threshold for desirability is a bit lower there than for impulse to settle down with someone on a permanent basis.
Hell, of all the long-term relationships I’ve had, I think I would only have considered marriage with two of them.
My last girlfriend is a text-book example of “girl you want to fuck.” I stayed with her for over five years, but the idea of marrying her was always totally out of the question. Describing my relationship with her makes me feel as crass and shallow as hell. The sex was good, and that almost all of the attraction. But to settle down with her? OMG, no. I hated going out in public with her, because she’s socially inept and constantly embarrassed me. Our world-views barely intersect – she believes a lot of mushy mumbo-jumbo and is very opinionated about it to the point of being openly hostile to “western science.” Her politics are completely fucked up and talking to her about world events is like talking to a Usenet loonie. We clashed in every sense except one – and there we fit together like pie and ice-cream. It was good enough that no matter how manifestly “wrong” she was for me, it was very hard to stay away. She kept herself in great shape, we could pass the time well enough mostly by avoiding topics that would lead to the wrong kind of friction, etc. But marriage? Hell, we never even spent any time with other people. I couldn’t imagine introducing her to my friends, and I guess she knew I wouldn’t have much to talk about with her friends. That relationship was all about sex.
On the other side, there’s a girl that I’d marry in a heartbeat. (Doesn’t seem likely, but we’re talking about desire.) The sexual attraction is definitely secondary to what a great friend she is. We spend most of our time together and I never feel like I’ve seen too much of her. So far, I’ve never been bored or irritated. She has a lot of qualities that I admire and perceive as somewhat lacking in myself – she keeps my attention on things that need it, and by following her lead in those areas I feel like an improved person. She fits in naturally with my friends and her friends and family are all quite appealling to me. She wants the same things out of life that I do. I can imagine raising children with her.
I guess this isn’t so much two types of women as two types of relationships. I’m sure the woman I’d think about marrying is in the “woman you’d like to fuck” category for other guys, and there are guys who’d jump at the chance to settle down with my last girlfriend.
I have to admit, this entire paragraph baffles me.
How on earth do you stay with a person for 5 YEARS when from the sounds of it you didn’t even LIKE her?!?!?
Holy Crap man! I mean, I’ve dated lots of men that I wouldn’t marry, but I at least liked them a little. And those that were too stupid to live but were good in the sack got the boot after about 2 months MAXIMUM.
Seriously, didn’t it feel like your brain was starting to atrophy or something?
5 years.
Duh-AM.
The sex was good. There was a certain amount of self-loathing involved, but the sex was good. We tolerated each other.
There would have to be an orchestra, horses, waterfalls, fireworks, and a symphony of angels on winged chariots for me to even consider going past the 3 month mark with someone I tolerated.
That woman must have had some serious SKILLZ!!
Well, lucky you.
Sick? What’s sick about it? Man knows what he likes and doesn’t waste time with what he doesn’t. Sure beats all the time I’ve spent on people who were, as Larry Mudd said, just tolerated. Yeah, girls do it too, stay with a guy because the sex was crazy good even though nothing else was. I dated a guy whose dog I liked better than him. Dog had all the personality in THAT house.
To be fair, that was an exceptionally cool dog.