So I’m the only one guessing that the person mentioned in the OP is looking for a steadier child support check?
Let’s see -[ul][li]She recently lost her job by failing a test[]dnooman passed the test and is, presumably, still gainfully employed[]she is no longer dating the baby daddy (allegedly)[]she is inviting dnooman over to her house in ways that may imply that bouncy-bouncy is in the offing[]there was at least one occasion in her past where she did not use reliable birth control, either accidentally or otherwiseshe doesn’t date white men, but there is a possibility that she might boink them[/ul][/li]
Make of this what you will. I would hie me in another direction with all deliberate speed.
Right. Listen, I was being a bit glib with my first response, but to think that most women don’t at least subconsciously categorize a guy as ‘safe’ (and no, that doesn’t mean boring or asexual) before inviting them to their house, especially when they have a child, well… I just don’t know what that would be like. And sometimes they’re wrong.
Fascinating. All that link demonstrates is that women are more timid and risk-averse than men, in defiance of the actual risk statistics. I don’t see why you’re citing it as factual support for your position.
Shall we let the OP have his thread back now? If you want to do any more feats of retrograde cycling, we’d best start one of our own.
To stick with the OP - he made the observation that being invited round to watch TV could be translated as an invitation for sex. That’s not always correct.
Each case is different, I don’t blame all men for what one idiot assumed about me. But with Dnoorman, in the situation he described, I’d recommend taking things slow. Nothing in the thread since would change my advice to him.
And I still really want to know what further developments he heard that have convinced him to be ‘out’ when she calls.
I basically confirmed today that she was making it up. I asked a supervisor a very indirect question about something and he said “Does this have to do with Sue’s situation”? He already knew the story, so I had him investigate a little bit and, although I didn’t get every last detail due to company rules, it was strongly implied that I was right about her lying.
All of the possible scenarios that have been suggested here have seemed at one point or another, plausible. None of them however, have me thinking that it’s in my best interest to pursue even a NSA BJ. Deceit is not pretty.
You guys didn’t want the details about the incident did you?
I’m not asking you to deny anything. I’m just saying that if you want a guy, sometimes, to be all “OK, I’ve read the signs right and I’m taking charge”, you have to accept that guys are not telepathic and occasionally will be trying to do that when in fact they have not read the signs right - and you need to handle the situation gracefully and try not to feel you have almost been raped. Or you can foster a climate in which men feel they have to obtain formal written permission for each individual act of contact, and if you find that unsatisfying and unexciting, deal with it. That’s all.
Incidentally, see that little #number at the top right of the post? If you right-click on it and “Copy Shortcut”, you get the url of the post, not the thread, so you can paste it between {url} tags and get a link that goes straight to one post. Today’s free technical tip offered in a spirit of helpfulness.
I don’t *need *to do anything you tell me to do - exactly the same point that my ‘guest’ in that post failed to realise. I need to make my own decisions as I feel the situation warrants. You were not there, you don’t know how full of ‘grace’ I had been prior to feeling afraid in my own home.
I’m not attacking you, or buying into the hijack.
Situations can be misread - in my case the statement “It’s not going to happen. I do not fancy you.” was dismissed.
In the OP’s case he was asking if he could dismiss her statement “I only date blacks.”
He’s happy with ending this, I am completely okay with that.
He’s one of the guys who apparently makes good decisions. It’s good to know they’re out there. That doesn’t negate the guys who won’t read the signs. They’re out there too.
FYI, on the night that we had decided to “kick it” I had band practice, but I was going to go over there afterwards (this was all before I knew she was a liar). Between work and the oil change place (I don’t own a good jack), my car died. Spent battery, faulty alternator.
I had to get a ride to practice with my guitar player, as well as a ride back.
When I get home, I check my email and see
“What are you eating for supper? I fixed you lasgana… :(”
I honestly felt bad, but not as bad as before.
If her “Baby Daddy” didn’t work at the same place as I, I’d make it known that we were through. However, this dude does work there, adn I have no really good idea of what he looks like.
