I don’t close the door, because I typically have at least one cat insisting on escorting me to the bathroom and they get VERY noisily upset if they can’t. Also tend to claw the door. DH is much more the private type, but the cats seem to trust him to handle bathroom visits without their help, so they don’t fuss about it.
I’d have loved to have met her; she sounds like a hoot anna half.
This gave me a big grin.
With the amount of waterfowl alone in that song, that’s a lot of armpit wings a-flappin’.
This ain’t their 1st rodeo, so if both know what’s going on with the bathroom visits and constant falls, they can hopefully give practical solutions.
Please try to contain your enthusiasm.
Just reading that made my pulse and blood pressure increase noticeably.
Jeebus, that’s terrible. Package delivery is kind of a … thing these days, to put it mildly.
This whole thing was an absolute work of art.
Thanks for the memories. God, that was a good movie.
Do I hafta roll up a newspaper and wave it threateningly at the three of you?
Oh, that’s definitely not a problem.
We’ve only had the new equipment a coupla weeks; hell, I don’t even know how to change the ink thingie yet. Only replaced the paper for the 1st time yesterday.
Really, it’s a “frog in slowly boiling water” issue: we don’t really notice the v e r r r r y slowly fading ink until suddenly BOOM!!! SO VISIBLE.
I bet the Germans have a word for this phenomenon. It’s so common, and just so … human.
Hobbits everywhere:
“What about Second Breakfast?”
My ex pointed out that if they supervise, while you poop, that makes them …
… your …
… poopervisor.
Just popping in, as I have an insanely busy day ahead. My silly song is, well, not great, but I was only 10 when I made the parody. We had a Mitch Miller album that had Peg o’ My Heart on it.
Original: 
Peg o’ my heart,
I love you.
Don’t let us part.
I love you
I always knew
It would be you.
Since I heard your lilting laughter
It’s your Irish heart I’m after.
All I can recall of my parody:
Peg in my heart
I’m bleeding
On the carpet.
I’m needing
A doc right away.
What do you say?
Why’d you stick me with a yard stake?
Take it out or come to my wake.
I approve and shall sing the alphabet song this way forevermore. I only sing it when washing my hands, but still…
Poor MIL. I admire her feisty spirit, but I wish her body were allowing her to exercise it more and safely. I’m so glad she has you and FCD to help smooth the journey ahead.
Agreed. VERY clever!
Doggio, I hope your job isn’t in peril. Or does this mean you’ll be working a different shift?
But don’t you know that newspapers are so Bohr-ing these days? (hint: they are not, but I’m rolling…)
Hugs. For all of you.
Pilot, you being a very sociable sort of guy, I can’t see dropping out of groups like the condo bunch. Enjoy the conversation and company.
I tend to close the bathroom door out of habit, most of the time I was growing up there were 4 people in the house and only one bathroom, so the door gave one some privacy. And now when it doesn’t matter, I still do in the spare bathroom (the way the master bathroom is arranged it isn’t an issue).
doggio, sounds like they might be closing up this year; will you be offered any options?
Jersey Mike #3 and a small bag of chips have been devoured and In about an hour I’ll head off to get my swimmin’ in.
I seem to always have a song in my head, and they’re often silly. Not long ago, I watched a Tom Lehrer special on PBS, and “The Hunting Song” subsequently repeated in my head for days. (“Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.”)
This morning it’s the Beat Farmers’ version of “Big Rock Candy Mountain,” which I heard the other day. It’s a silly-ish song to begin with, made even more so when Country Dick Montana sings it.
Shoe, I’m surprised your brand new system uses ribbon printers; I thought those were obsolete. Thermal is the way to go!
I don’t … think? … they’re ribbon printers?
I’ll admit, electronic devices aren’t my best friends under the best of circumstances, and even then, I’m far more comfortable troubleshooting software than hardware.
Ah, I went back and read your OP, and you said “ink,” not “ribbon.” My bad.
Still, for the nearly 9 years I worked at the zoo, all the printers were thermal. No ribbon, no ink, no nothing; just pop in a new roll of paper when it runs out. I thought this kind of thing was standard now.
Ah. I suspect these aren’t.
It’s a pizza kitchen. Paper that reacts to heat might cause … other problems.
My version:
“Down the lane I look and there comes Mary
Hair of gold and t*ts like cherries
It’s good to smoke
The green green grass of home.”
A lot of the selections posted look like the “MAD” magazine parodies from the 60s and 70s. Then there’s Allan Sherman, whose parodies I’m always thinking of:
On Top of Old Smoky
On top of old Smoky
All covered with hair
Of course I’m referring
To Smoky the bear.
Comin’ Through the Rye
Do not make a stingy sandwich
Pile the cold cuts high
Customers should see salami
Comin’ through the rye.
Auld Lang Syne
I know a man
His name is Lang
And he has a neon sign
And Mister Lang is very old
So they call it old Lang’s sign.
I will now have “Hit me with your pet shark!” stuck in my head all day as my own personal misheard lyric. I’m sure Pat Bennetar would be disappointed in me.
In other news, we haven’t yet put our mom’s house on the market, but have already received an offer. It looks like it’s probably from a shell real estate company, so I’m assuming they plan to flip it. They quoted us an offensively low amount to purchase as-is, which is super annoying.
Anyway, it’s a bright beautiful day and I really want to go for a run or walk and not be here.
Picture showing your nice eyes, and this week’s theme, reminds me of a song my mom would sing when I was in high school:
Jeepers Creepers, where’d ya get those peepers?
Jeepers Creepers, where’d ya get those eyes?
And then there’s my favorite:
Be kind to your web-footed friend, for a duck may be somebody’s mother 
Right now it’s bedtime for Bonzo.
We were out for three hours Saturday, so I missed a package delivery. The delivery notice didn’t say whether they would re-try. I eventually got through to the Post Orifice and was told I’d have to come pick it up. Went down at ‘lunchtime’ to receive a bloody great box. Might have been two feet square, and about four feet wide. Inside of it was an empty box about a foot and a half by about a foot by about 10 inches. Below that box was a long box that was the size I was expecting (and a couple pieces of crumpled brown wrapping/packing paper). Inside of the expected-size box was the left-rear fairing for the Seca II that I’d bought from a seller in Germany. I broke down the boxes, but the Post Orifice didn’t have recycling. I went to a mailing place and put the broken-down boxes into the skips they had out back. They had metal screens on the top to keep people from throwing things in there, but I was able to slide the cardboard in.
For my actual lunch I made a burger out of ‘by it before it rots’ ‘best for burgers’ ground beef, two slices of American cheese, thousand island dressing, and lettuce on a keto bun. I drank all of the coffee earlier, so I have some apple cider vinegar mixed in water.
Wifey, RN just got home.
It’s supposed to snow tonight or tomorrow.
Poking my snoot in to say thanks to all who had such nice things to say about my little dog. If you like lots of drama in your life (I don’t), he is quite the entertainer, and all I can say is, it’s a good thing he’s cute!
I know, right? It scares me to think he might grow into them one day!
metal mouse, you know, that was good advice and I took it. Yesterday I spent all day with a close friend in my first ever oil painting class. I ended up covered in paint, a canvas that wasn’t half bad for a first effort and had a blast. We’ll be doing it again!
I’m another big Tom Lehrer fan, have been since my misspent adolescence. Now I’m going to have the Vatican Rag running through my head for the rest of the day. There are worse things. 
I’ll keep trying to think of a silly song. If I come up with one, I’ll share it.
Hugs and noogies all around!
Wait, what, I gave someone good advice!!! 
Sounds like oil painting is not for the neatniks–Enjoy.
Dangit, now you’ve got that stuck in my head…next thing you know I’ll be out poisoning pigeons in the park…
Flyboy, sounds like a wee bit of overpacking there, but glad you got the part.
talkie, I get about 3-4 calls a week from people wanting to buy my property. Hilarious thing about it is 3 out of 4 of them mention adresses I’ve never heard of.
Mark_Finn (Not sure if your Mumper name should be Huckleberry or Mickey (MF as your MMP moniker is probably contraindicated…), what do the rest of you think)? I can remember most of those, only one I can recall though was a R-Rated verse to “Would you like to Swing on a Star” that two drunk/stoned guys snag over and over and over while on a bus in college. Not sure if it’s permitted to post risque stuff on the MMP, so I’ll forbear.
Got to the gym early and had lanes available so I did three sets of laps for 1 1/4 mile of backstoking, a new record for me, and the scale showed 228.2lbs, so yeah. TV now and them Culver’s Butterburger to celebrate.
Howdy Y’all! As stated this mornin’ it has been a day of high and holy sloth. I did manage to go down to the mailbox and haul the biiiiiig trash can all the way back up from the road to where it stays all week, but that was all in one trip. Thus, I was both productive and efficient! I then took a well-earned nap. Also sup got cooked and et. OYKW cleanded up the kitchen, cause he’s all nice like that.
Metal_Mouse I think it’s OK to post risque lyrics as long as you spoiler ‘em, so folk that need to can clutch their pearls and have their faintin’ couch nearby as needed.
That sounds like a kid’s version of the one my Uncle Bob used to rattle off from WWII:
Sam, Sam, the lavatory man
Chief inspector of the crapper and the can
Handed out the paper, handed out the towel
Listened for the rumble of the bowel
First a mobile phone, then a debit card. 
You’re getting quite 21rst century on us. 
{{{FairyChats}}}
I am now about 2/3 finished with the album. I should be able to complete it next weekend. Yay! The other half of the price will be in my bank account.
I’ll work on it a little in the evenings for the rest of the week too, so, back to the studio after KP.
Crazy weather here in MSP. 65F today breaks a record set in the 1800s. Two days from now it will be 8F. That’s not a typo. We’re also going to get some snow.
So sleepy…. Yes, shoe, my grandma was awesome.
More hugs for FCM and family.
I did have one other song I was thinking of. Let me first explain my upbringing so that it makes sense. I grew up living with my parents and my paternal grandparents all in the same house. My mom is Jewish and my dad and grandparents are/were Baptist. So, I would often sing a refrain along with the Carpenters…
Fa la la la la
Just like me they long to be a Baptist Jew 
Fair enough, so please feel free to open it or not as you wish. Again the melody is from the old song “Would You Like to Swing on a Star” But fair warning, It’s been stuck in my brain for going on 50 years, so it’s your call.
Oh would you like to sit on my face;
It’s a very wonderful place
And would you like to sit on my nose,
And play around with my hose.
A hose is an animal that lives in my pants
If you play with it long enough it’ll dance
Started Typing: 6:10 PM ET
Clicked Reply: 6:47 PM ET
I’m finished working for the day but I have a volunteer-related Zoom meeting starting in less than an hour, so I figure why bother to relocate to the living room for such a short period of time: I’ll just hang out here and post in the MMP (on a Monday! woot!), and eventually have a banana and nuke a Hormel pot roast thingy for dinner. Then after the meeting I will treat myself to some yummy popcorn. 
Cute Fellow Volunteer might also be in this evening’s meeting. There’s another online thing at the same time that I know he’s interested in, but if he makes it tonight I might have to be a brazen hussy and send him a “hey” chat message.
The fourth week of every month is “volunteer meeting” week: leadership on Mondays, general membership on Tuesdays, and my committee on Wednesdays. All at 7pm. I get a bit of a break during the general membership meetings: I generally don’t have to participate in/be on-camera for those, so I can sit on my couch in my jammies with Zoom running on my little iPad. But by the fourth Thursday evening of each month I need some serious “leave me alone” time and am ready to growl at anyone who messages/emails/texts me. I’m alright again by Friday morning, though.
Yeaaahhhh the “making him dinner” thing won’t be happening. I’ll have to figure out some other charms to rely on.
Ooooo, good idea! Thanks!
I am grateful that pilot bolds his links. 
I second pilot’s “you’re cute!”
(but yanno in a totally hetero “chicks can appreciate other chicks” way)
Indeed!
Yes!! Plus the next verse: “Be kind to your friends in the swamp, where the weather is very very damp.”
(with “damp” pronounced to rhyme with “swamp,” of course)
(N.O.S)
And I thought DC’s weather was nuts!