Omaha dad finds pot brownies, eats 4 of them, says mean things to cat

[I_Love_Me_Vol.I]

It seems some dude in Omaha accidentally ate some pot brownies his grown-up kids left in the car. Hilarity did not ensue for him, but it has for me. I especially like the headline in the Omaha World-Herald: “Omaha dad finds pot brownies, eats 4 of them, says mean things to cat”

Paramedics called to the scene who checked the man found his vital signs to be normal. But they noted that he was displaying odd behavior — crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat a “bitch.”

Something to tell the grandchildren, for sure!

[Amateur_Barbarian]

Well, that’s because calling the family cat a “queen” just doesn’t have the same impact.

[Malthus]

@Amateur_Barbarian

Well, that’s because calling the family cat a “queen” just doesn’t have the same impact.

Cats don’t care if you call them a “queen”, just as long as you obey them as if they were one.

[Uosdwis_R.Dewoh]

Good. Cats have had it coming for a long time.

[Doctor_Jackson]

A dad cleaning out the back seat
Saw brownies and thought “What a treat!”
He was soon sans his britches
Yelling “Cats is all bitches!”
While juggling his balls to the beat

[YogSothoth]

He must have mistaken it for the family dog

[gnoitall]

where we’re so nice that the vilest thing we do under the influence of drugs is mildly reproach household pets.

I wish. But it’s a cute story. I hope Dad apologized to kitteh, and also had a little talk with his kids about buying sketchy treats and leaving them laying around.

[Snowboarder_Bo]

[

Now, taking so many drugs that you are literally on the floor having full-blown arguments with the nearest animal/plant/couch cushion can be a worthwhile, invigorating experience. I’m going to guess, though, that Midwestern Dad did not have a good time because by the time you’re 53 years old, you’re pretty dang comfortable with your inhibitions. It’s inconvenient, not to mention a bit shameful, to have them torn down unexpectedly and discover that what you really want to do, after a batch of drugs your shady adult children bought reduces you to your basest impulses, is call the cat a bitch.

Also I bet the cops were laughing a lot at this part. Having cops laugh at you is a literal Midwestern Dad nightmare.

](http://www.vice.com/read/a-close-reading-of-a-police-report-documenting-one-midwestern-dads-pot-brownie-misadventure)

I love that bit!

[Two_Many_Cats]

I hope the cat hawks up a hairball in the guy’s shoes.

[psychobunny]

To be fair, the cat is a tortie (see her pic) and you know they are all bitches. Meanwhile this article gives the man’s side of the story which is both hilarious and slightly sad (he’s a recovering alcoholic/drug user worried about losing his sobriety).