OMG, Stop the Presses! [O.J. Simpson media coverage]

The BBQ Pit
1

OJ Simpson licked his lips!!!

This is the headline on the front page of CNN.com:

O.J. Simpson smirks, rolls eyes, licks lips

Now, this is a video, and thanks to CNN’s new practice of half their fucking stories being videos, and my office’s net nanny blocking all video, I can’t actually watch OJ licking his lips. And it’s killing me, believe me. How can I be expected to work for the next 8 hours, knowing the OJ is licking his lips like there’s no tomorrow, not to mention ROLLING HIS EYES, and I am not able to watch? Do I have any recourse against my employer for blocking this crucial video? I’m thinking of faking an illness so I can go home and watch this incredible breaking news story.

CNN. Morons. :rolleyes:

2

But what about Stacy Peterson? America is crying out for more news about the latest “missing white woman” du jour!!! How dare they break from this all-important story to bring us “news” about OJ being an asshat!!! :mad:

And let’s not forget those three children in Tennessee - the ones who suffered “minor injuries” during a storm last night!!! America needs to weep for them, too! :frowning:

3

Not every news outlet can be up to the high standards of FOX, you know.

4

I also saw on CNN.com that Nancy Grace is hospitalized with blood clots. Does it make me a bad person that I hope said clots take her off the air permanently?

5

[QUOTE=asterion]
I also saw on CNN.com that Nancy Grace is hospitalized with blood clots. Does it make me a bad person that I hope said clots take her off the air permanently?
[/QUOTE]
Can they do that? Can blood clots cut off your air permanently? :smiley:

Oh…never mind. :stuck_out_tongue:

6

Man you are missing the best lip lick i have seen since Jenna Jamerson’s last movie!

7

Switching the t.v. off will work wonders for your blood pressure.

8

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
Switching the t.v. off will work wonders for your blood pressure.
[/QUOTE]
You can access CNN.com from your TV? Cool beans.

9

[Scorpions]

He’s licking his lips, he’s ready to win

[/Scorpions]

10

I miss the days when CNN.com actually reported the news. Now it seems that their “news” is comprised of videos contributed by every fuckstick with a cellphone camera. Their website has about as much journalistic integrity as Sesame Street.

I’ll take my NYTimes.com or WSJ.com any day.

11

[QUOTE=Duke of Rat]
[Scorpions]

He’s licking his lips, he’s ready to win

[/Scorpions]
[/QUOTE]
You win the thread.

12

So it was OJ who rocked the hurricane that hurt those kids in Tennessee? That fucker.

13

[QUOTE=asterion]
I also saw on CNN.com that Nancy Grace is hospitalized with blood clots.
[/QUOTE]

She needs to brush her teeth more thoroughly.

14

[QUOTE=Bosstone]
You can access CNN.com from your TV? Cool beans.
[/QUOTE]

Sure, if you use WebTV.

15

[QUOTE=McNew]
I miss the days when CNN.com actually reported the news. Now it seems that their “news” is comprised of videos contributed by every fuckstick with a cellphone camera. Their website has about as much journalistic integrity as Sesame Street.
[/QUOTE]
Cookie Monster found not guilty in brutal double-murder

16

O.J. still has that wry sense of humor working for him. As he said before he left the courtroom in Las Vegas yesterday:

:smiley:

17

Now what if he licked his eyebrows?

18

[QUOTE=Don’t Call Me Shirley]
Now, this is a video, and thanks to CNN’s new practice of half their fucking stories being videos, and my office’s net nanny blocking all video, I can’t actually watch OJ licking his lips.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, how I despise that half the goddamn stories are videos. I can actually watch them if I wanted to, but it takes like 10 times the amount of time to get the same info than if they just put a text story on the page. Sometimes there’s both video and text, but often it just seems to be video only.

19

[QUOTE=asterion]
I also saw on CNN.com that Nancy Grace is hospitalized with blood clots. Does it make me a bad person that I hope said clots take her off the air permanently?
[/QUOTE]
In a word?
NO WAY!

CMC +fnord!

20

I edited the thread title to be more descriptive.