On the breaking of Teenage Horn-dogs

This is something of a time-sensitive issue, so I’m not entirely sure how much help I’ll get off of the SDMB right now, but I figured I’d try. Here goes…

I’m spending the weekend with a good friend of mine, a guy I’ve know for years and one I consider among my best of friends. He has to work in the morning, so he’s long since crashed out. However, tonight, his little sister (Incidentally, I’ve known this guy, and his family, for a loooooong time, so his little sister is kinda my little sister too) is here with her prom date, as sort of an after-party thing. Everybody but me (and the pair of attempting-to-be-rutting-weasels) is asleep as I sit here goofing off on the computer and wasting time till I feel ready to go to bed.

In the last 10 minutes or so, I’ve heard noises coming from the living room. Happy noises. Foreplay-style noises. If you’ve ever heard these types of noises, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

So my question is, how do I go about stopping this? Do I barge in, belching fire and brimstone, with the implied threat of unspeakable bodily harm and misfortune for this young man? Or do I try the less direct approach and just mosey into the living room, turn on the tv, and let the History Channel destroy the romance for me? Incidentally, in case I get advice to the contrary, I’d like everybody to know, that this WILL stop. Sorry kids, but not tonight. I’m just not sure how to go about doing it.

As I said before, this is something of an urgent matter, so I’m not sure if I’ll get a response quick enough here, but either way, I suppose I can read your responses later and decide if I did the right thing.

You have five minutes (unless the happy noises turn into REALLY happy noises, in which case instant action will be taken) to help guide my course of action. Syncronize watches…right about…now!

Stand outside the door and cough loudly, several times.


Manufacture an excuse for why you might need them for a moment. Like, say: “Hey, you kids in there. I’m having trouble tying my shoes. Give me a hand!”

I’d suggest making some noise, like coughing or “accidently” bumping into something just to let them know you are around and then walk into the living room. Make up some kind of excuse if you feel you need too, but at least give the kids some kind of warning first!

Start singing outside the door.

Ok, I’ve compiled the sentiments from these few posts and decided, I’m gonna obnoxiously hum my way down the hall and hit the bathroom, then roll through the living room (where they are) and into the kitchen for a drink of water. If I get out of the bathroom and I still hear noises, the kids are getting busted hard. They’re gonna be getting plenty of warning, so if I finish and there is still evidence of things going on that shouldn’t be going on, it’s their own damn fault.

P.S. I love you guys. Many thanks! I think I’d have felt bad in the morning if I’d put the fear of God into this kid, he’s actually a nice guy. I suppose it’s not his fault he’s young and horny, Lord knows I’ve been there…

So, why exactly does it have to stop?

It was hard, and I denied it for a long time, but I eventually had to come to the realization that my little sister is going to have sex and trying to stop her would be rude, invasive, and hurtful to our relationship.

I understand that you feel as an authority figure to this girl but this really doesn’t seem like your ground to be treading on.

Just my 2 Turkish Lira.

One more thing I forgot to mention: If this is a [kinda-sorta] after prom party, and there’s [obviously] no parental supervision, have you thought that maybe her parents don’t mind, or that they trust her to make the right decision [not saying whether or not sex is the right decision]?

I mean, did they ask you to be her walking chastity belt?



First, it probably isn’t, and second, no, they didn’t. And while I understand where you’re coming from, I have to say that it doesn’t matter to me. Like I said before, sorry kids, but not tonight, not in my presence. If they’re bound and determined, if it’s really important to the both of them to do it, I’m sure they’ll find a way, a place, and a time. I did, you probably did, and I’d guess most everybody who is reading this probably did.

But not here, not now. It seems to me to me like this is one of those things where it’s better to err on the side of caution, rather than throw it to the wind, though of course YMMV. If having sex means that much to these two, it wont hurt them to wait a bit longer, till they can have the privacy and peace to do it how they think it should be done.

But I think there’s the off chance that they think (and more importantly in my eyes, she thinks) that sex is just something expected after prom, whether you really want to or not. So my reasoning is that I should stop it on this night, and if it happens afterwards then at least it was an honest decision on both of their parts, rather than an arbitrary feeling of obligation to fit into the norms of the stupid, yet complex, societal rules of high school.

As I said before, maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m just an asshole. But in this instance I think, I’d rather be an overbearing asshole than let a little too much go. I know this isn’t my child (obviously, unless I was having kids at the tender age of eight), but she is somebody I care very much about, and my main concern is that she ends up happy in the long run, and not just happy for tonight.

And while we’re on that subject, the sneaky weasels have been quiet for a while, I think I’m gonna go snag me a glass of water :slight_smile:


Don’t know why I didn’t include this in my first post, but there are a couple reasons why its cool with her parents that this girl is here with her prom date, hanging out with her brother and his friends on her after-prom-party.

  1. We’re a goddamn blast to hang out with, so she and her date are guaranteed to have fun, though (I’ll admit, since I don’t pretend to know their inner thoughts) perhaps not as much fun as they’d hoped :wink:

  2. We’d all be more than willing to punch somebody in the head if we felt it was the necessary catalyst to them learning how to treat a lady (This kid seems extremely nice and polite though, so I doubt that it’d come to that).

Trust me, if her parents thought there was any chance of some kid having wild monkey sex with their baby girl, their heads would friggin’ explode.

Again, I DO understand where you’re coming from, but I think, in this instance at least, the burden of responsibility lies with me making sure nothing happens, rather than in letting them choose for themselves.

So what happened?

Theesome, that’s why there’s no reply.

ROTFLMAO! Thanks, I needed that today!


This is why everybody needs a huge boombox with The Stars and Stripes Forever cued up available at all times.

Since I once had sex with my girlfriend while her sister was in the same room watching TV, (and if she had noticed she would have flipped out) I’m pretty sure that nothing ravesaint is gonna do can stop these teens from having sex.

[sub]Hey, I’m not proud of it, but what’s done by horny teenagers is done.**

Worst comes to worst, they’re gonna split up, go to separate rooms, and reunite 60 seconds later to get it on.

Quite frankly, preaching abstinence is a dangerous joke.

I think the humming would have only made the couple quieter.

Sorry I didn’t respond before, but I kinda figured this thread would die after my last response. For those precious few of you who were interested, here’s my account…

Ewww. And Ewww again. And a Blah thrown in for good measure. Perhaps you missed the part where I said this kid is sorta like my sister as well?

Sorry to disappoint, but no torrid love scenes were enacted on that night. While Barbarian may have gotten away with his wild evening of passion, I can assure you all that no ‘getting it on’ was got on on that night. I’m not that far removed from being a devious, horny teenager myself. I’m wise to their wily ways.

And this…

I wasn’t preaching abstinence. Just ‘abstinence for tonight since I’m sorta the default chaperone.’ I don’t want to be accused of being lax in my duties, after all.

But even if I was preaching abstinence, I’m not sure I understand this. Worst case scenario, they do what they were going to do anyway. Which gives you the same net result as you’d get if you hadn’t said anything in the first place, right? Might as well take a shot in the dark and hope for the best…

Ethilrist, nice suggestion, but I’m thinking ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ might be a better choice. I’m pretty sure that would ruin my mood anyway…

Thanks for this image. I didn’t realize it was possible to go from Half-asleep-and-grumpily-waiting-for-coffee-to-brew to Alert-and-laughing-my-ass-off quite that fast.

Kinda sucks when people don’t mind their own business. May an obtrusive ‘friend’ block you from getting laid for the next five years. Take that hex!

Put me in the MYODB camp. I wouldn’t be suprised if they did it and left the used rubber in your shoe.

I’m sure it was difficult for you, though…

Well, frankly, I have to side with the OP. If these kids want to have sex in someone’s living room, they can do it in their own living rooms, not his. Having sex in somebody else’s living room, where you are a bloody guest, without their knowledge and consent is just assholish.