WordMan
February 12, 2003, 9:22pm
161
I always get my 5-yr-old son with this one:
Me: “Jake - I have a great Knock Knock joke - wanna hear it?”
much laughter ensues
Mommy - everyone thinks I am a werewolf!
Mommy - I keep running around in circles!
Mommy - what happened to all those scabs on your legs?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs rolling around on your BBQ?
What do you call a MWNAANL at the bottom of a hole?
On your front porch?
That you sing to?
What do you call a leper in a bathtub?
What did the leper say to the hooker?
Why did the leper hockey game have to end?
Decartes is sitting in a bar having a drink. The bar tender says, “Would you like another?” Descartes answers, “I think not.” And poof he disappears.
Oh! I’m at the end already. Here’s a few light bulb jokes for ya.
Q. How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Q. How many Graphic Artists does it take to change a light bulb?have to be a light bulb?
Q. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Almost forgot! One more:
Q. How many Southerners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four. One to change the bulb and three to sit around and reminisce about the old one for a while.
See also: www.lightbulbjokes.com
And one more, just for me. (I promise to stop now.)
Q: How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What do you call a man holding a fish?
Rod.
Annette.
That would be woman, not qoman… :smack:
What’s Green then Red at the touch of a button?
A frog in a blender.
Bob “My Hamster died yesterday, so I decided to make a meal out of her. I cut the little sucker up and cooked it with plums, strawberrys and lots of sugar”
Rob “Oh what did it taste like?”
Bob “Awful, I had to throw it all out in the yard, strange thing was the next day the yard was full of roses!”
Rob “Ha, now I know your lying, because
Two penuts were walking down the street. One got assaulted.
Dear Abby,
I’m a 13yo girl and still a virgin…is something wrong with my Dad??
zorch
March 6, 2003, 3:36pm
171
Little girl: “Mommy, mommy, come quick; the baby fell into the swimming pool!”
Mommy: “Don’t make me laugh, my lips are chapped.”
You mean I didn’t kill this thread… quickly then another badn’
Q: What is big, green , has six legs and will kill you if it jumps on you from out of a tall tree?
A: A snooker table.
MLS
March 6, 2003, 7:07pm
173
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insommniac?
Why wouldn’t the clam share?
He was a little shellfish.
Dirty joke alert
What is the difference between Madonna and a food processor?
You can pull your dick out of a food processor.
Q: How can you keep a rooster from crowing on Monday morning?
Q: Why did the farmer call his rooster “Robinson?”
Q: What bird, found in Australia, has wings but cannot fly?
Q: What do hippopotamuses have that no other animal has?
Q: What farm animal is a cannibal?
Q: How do you know that Dentists are unhappy at their work?
Q: What is the best thing to take when you’re run down?
Q: With which hand should you stir your tea?
Q: If a man is born in Turkey, grows up in Italy, comes to America, and dies in Chicago, what is he?
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper says, “That’s ridiculous. Who would name a drink “Steve””?
These two penguins are standing on an iceberg. One looks at the other and says, “You look like you’re wearing a tuxedo.”
The second one replies, “Who says I’m not?”
A cannibal passed his brother in the woods.
How many indy rockers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
4, 1 to screw it in, and 3 to sit around thinking how cool the old one was.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the turtle cross the road?
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
Why are jellybeans better than men?
How many Malkavians does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
How do you make a dog meow?