Beck, your online friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their own minds. All minds, Beck, whether they be adults’ or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours a human is a mere insect, an ant, in his or her intellect, as compared with the boundless world, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Beck, there is a Cecil Adams. He exists as certainly as questions and answers and just plain curiosity exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Cecil Adams. It would be as ignorant and dreary as if there were no Becks. There would be no childlike fun in Thread Games, no poetry or music or movies in Cafe Society, no Dopers seeking answers in General Questions, and no serious discussions of the events of the day in Great Debates, to make tolerable this existence. We would have no knowledge, except that which comes from our own sense and sight and experience. The eternal light with which others’ answers and experiences fill the world and inform us would be extinguished.
Not believe in Cecil Adams! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your husband to hire men to watch all the computers in Chicago to catch Cecil Adams, but even if they did not see Cecil Adams composing a reply to a question, what would that prove? Nobody sees Cecil Adams, but that is no sign that there is no Cecil Adams. The most real things in the world are those that nobody can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only discussions about weather, faith, sports, fancy, politics, poetry, movies, love, cats, romance, cars, and so many other topics, can fight ignorance; and in doing so, can push aside that curtain in order to view and picture the supernal knowledge and learning beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Beck, in all this world there is nothing else so real and abiding as the Straight Dope that Cecil built.
No Cecil Adams! Thank goodness he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Beck, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to inform the minds of curious people who are proud to call themselves Dopers.