*Can *the OP’s wife stay in on Friday? Is she able to do that? Can she spend Friday night in your trailer without drinking? Or is she hooked enough on booze that the idea of not going down to have a few with her pals is unthinkable? Or it’s thinkable, but she can’t muster the willpower to actually succeed at doing it, even once for practice?
IOW, the OP may not be having any kind of infidelity problem, but may be having a spouse + alcohol problem. I have certainly known couples like that. She’s (or he’s) the life of the party. Until it eats their liver. Sux to be them, but it sux even more to be their spouse/victim.
The mere fact she goes out for a few on Friday is no guarantee she’s got a problem. It’s not even much of a sign of one. But it is a possibility. And however much of an issue it is or isn’t today, for a great many people any change over time is one-way: worse.
I understand the guess work involved in my new membership, but I don’t understand the confusion on why a member would join and then ask a question. I basically googled a similar situation and came to this site. I found some responses that seemed respectable and decided to join and ask my own question. Yes, we live in a nice RV Resort, Quality RV Resorts, if you would like to see, they are nation wide. I don’t live in a “Trailer” so to speak, I live in a $100K RV. We sold a large home and bought it to temporarily reside until our land purchase goes through. We do both drink, her choice is 1-2 glasses of wine. As one person mentioned, most do not set out to cheat, but with inhibitions lowered, boredom and a good conversation… I know shit can happen. I certainly didn’t join this page to try to trick anyone, only to get opinions. I trust my wife and do not feel she is out searching for the next Mr. Right, but I am also a Christian and I have learned in my 47 years, that avoiding cyclic temptation would have saved many a marriage. I am career 25 yr LEO and I learned many years ago that securing night clubs was bad for marriage. Not only was there constant cyclic temptation, but there was constant worry from the other half that I would do wrong. That was enough to stop that type of work. Not because I went pussy whip and quit, but I am a person that will not put my spouse in any fear that I would cause her pain. I was never asked to quit, I just did. I would not ask my spouse to sit at home and be bored either. I just wanted opinions on if it should bother me or if it would bother others on here, M or F. It does bother me, but I’m strong enough to put my worries behind me. Sometimes when something gets in your head, you have two voices… most of the time one is totally wrong.
No way you’d know this, but it’s a common pattern for trolls: join the board just to post a new thread about a slightly-to-really-salacious topic and watch the rubes pour in. Super sorry you got caught in the crosswinds!
I donno. It really depends on the people involved. I spend a couple of decades in bars, most of that when I was single and the women I hooked up with were looking for action.
If she’s only having a glass or two of wine, keeps the conversation light and is with a group of guys, and you and her have a really close relationship with good communication, then I would say the chances of her cheating are much less if she’s a barfly, getting drunk off her gourd, regularly only drinks with the same guy and you two have communication issues.
The comments you are getting are because we occasionally get new members who have Dear Penthouse type of situations and act as if they are oblivious to blatantly obvious situations. For example, “My girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend are going to the Caribbean together, they will share a hotel room but she insists nothing will happen. Oh, and I’m still banging my ex and her sheep. What do you think?”
OK, I lied about the sheep. Only certain moderators post things like that.
The follow up sounds pretty reasonable, although I’m not sure what her height in the OP has to do with anything.
Some people really avoid even the “appearance of evil.” Others don’t worry so much about the same situation.
I think that it’s probably less likely to be a problem than working security at a night club.
How much do you two talk? Do you share what things you do regularly? Does she tell you about the people she meets there?
Firstly, I suspect that any action you take to attempt to discourage (or outright forbid) your wife from going to the bar and speaking with other men will have the opposite of the desired effect, which is to say don’t do it. Secondly, I think msmith537 has flagged an important point - why does she do this? Are the bar and its denizens that much fun to be around? Or is she so bored that hanging out in a bar is the only thing she can think of doing to relieve the tedium?
Assuming it’s not an alcohol problem (which you suggest it isn’t and which requires a whole different level of advice), let me tackle the boredom issue. My in-laws lived in a deluxe RV park for years, and let me tell you RV parks are not exactly exciting places to hang out. I’m guessing that the resort is pretty much the only entertainment around, and since you mention that you’re “temporarily” there I’m also guessing your wife hasn’t had much opportunity to make close friends who live locally (assuming there’s anyone there she could do so with). So her options are 1) stay home and be bored, or 2) go to the bar and drink and talk to whoever is there. So she goes with 2) not because she loves hanging out in bars talking to strangers but because it’s a lot better than 1).
If my guesses are correct, the two of you might want to discuss not the bar visits but rather the boredom and whether there’s an option 3). Does she have access to a car of her own that will let her get out and about? Does she have activities she likes to do? Do you have a decent home internet connection that will let her chat to faraway friends and family (or participate in internet messageboards or Facebook or MMORPGs etc etc)? Or, more simply, are there other women she could hang out in the bar with? Maybe if she were with female friends you’d be less worried about any boredom-inspired misbehaviour.
Be supportive (but not patronizing) in discussing this with her; better to say that you’re worried that she’s bored than you’re worried that she’s going to hook up with strange men. And remember that this is about solving her boredom problem, not solving your niggling paranoia problem - dealing with the former will remove the latter anyway.
I don’t have a problem with my own wife hanging out with guys, but if significant drinking is involved I’d have a problem. Most unfortunate incidents involving men and women seem to involve alcohol. Even if I trust my wife to not drink too much, I can’t trust everyone she’s with to be smart. Plus maybe this is just the non-drinker talking, but if someone’s behavior is altered by drinking, such as she becomes a lot more fun, then there actually is a drinking problem. Not an addiction problem necessarily, but one in which her judgment might not be ideal. Alcohol doesn’t just change your mood in ways you like, you have to take the bad aspects with the good.