Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be a slug?
A slug is an animal that lives in the dirt
He can’t wear a jacket or a shirt
He leaves behind him a slimy trail
He can’t dress up in a shell like a snail
But if shabby clothes make you snug
You may grow up to be a slug
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
…a platypus?
The platypus, I have to say, is very confused,
His classification’s quite abused,
He has webbed feet, and a bill like a duck,
Fur, eggs, milk, and poison spurs for luck!
So if your life’s a convoluted muss,
You may grow up to be a platypus!
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
a C.H.U.D.?
A C.H.U.D. is a humanoid who dwells underground,
The friendliest cannibals I’ve found.
Eating homeless is their one desire,
To kill them off you set the sewers on fire!
So if you don’t pull your face out of the mud…
You may grow up to be a C.H.U.D.!
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
and I had this song running through my head as soon as I clicked the title. I’ve probably seen Hudson Hawk too many times. Great thread idea, Mangetout
a bump?
A bump is the kind of post that revives a thread
To stop it being prematurely dead
It serves no purpose but to make it hop
From obscurity back up to the top
Well if your thread is in need of a jump
You might contrive to use a bump
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
a troll?
A troll causes trouble at the drop of hat
He gets people riled in nothing flat
He loves it best when things get out of hand
Which guarantees that he will soon get banned
So if you’re glad when the Board’s out of control
You might grow up to be a troll
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
A clone?
A clone is a person who’d much rather be you
His actions are yours and right on cue.
He loves what you love and he wears your clothes,
He mirrors your actions and gets up your nose.
So if you’re frightened of being on your own,
You might grow up to be a clone.
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
a germ?
A germ is a tiny little animalcule
You won’t ever see one, as a rule
If he gets in you, he will multiply
And make you feel so bad you’ll want to die
So if you like making people feel infirm
You might grow up to be a germ
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
A booger?
A booger is best picked fresh
Especially while sitting bored at your work desk
You can pick it and pull it this way and that
And onto the computer screen it can land with a splat
So if you don’t like people using your machine
You might want a booger collection stuck to your screen
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
or would you rather be…
Or would you rather be a snake?
A snake is an animal that sneaks around
always dragging its belly on the ground.
He swallows his prey whole and doesn’t have much fun
He’s scaley and slithery and smells with his tongue.
So if you’re always the one who’s on the take,
You could grow up to be a snake.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
Or would you rather be a tick?
A tick tends to hang around in tall shady grass
And jumps on the next animal to pass.
It feeds on your blood not with a plate or a cup
Just plunges in its head and leaves its butt sticking up.
So if you suck life out of others and are a prick,
You could grow up to be a tick.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a program?
A program is a sequence of commands in a code
It only does whatever its told.
It might have a bug or two in need of a fix
(Though if it’s in the Matrix it can do some cool tricks!)
So if you simply don’t give a damn
You could grow up to be a program.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a mockingbird?
A mockingbird’s a mimic, no song of its own,
A shy one as well - once seen, soon flown.
A gentle bird and it’s a sin to kill one,
Or so it’s taught to lawyers’ children.
So if you want to make your voice heard,
You could grow up to be a mockingbird.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
or would you rather be…
Or would you rather be a mean ex-girlfriend?
A heart that once loved you could rend
with the nasty e-mails and voice-mails you send.
Patience and tolerance you could test
while you destroy a belief in the rest.
Help bury his self-confidence in muck,
just because you no longer… have sex.
So when you are hurt by a loving chum,
you can get angry and become scum.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
a Punk?
A Punk is a teenager, angsty as can be
They’re not as unique as you or me.
They all wear black and have their hair in spikes.
They like to skateboard and ride around on bikes!
So if you cover your hair in gunk,
you could grow up to be a Punk!
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
Or would you rather be an :eek:?
And :eek: is smiley that you use to show shock
or when you find you can do nothing but gawk.
Its mouth is wide open but it doesn’t shout
Its an odd shade of blue and its eyes are bugged out.
So if you’re scared and your knees are slightly week,
You might decide to use an :eek:.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather…
[sub]Heaven help me I can’t stop…[/sub]
…be a squid?
A squid is a many-legged cephalopod
You might find its antics rather odd
When faced with danger, quick as you can blink
It makes its getaway in clouds of ink
And if tentacular porn tickles your id
You might grow up to be a squid
Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
a Pooh?
A Pooh is a friendly bear with a head full of fluff
He’s always saying “oh bother”, and other stuff
He’s friends with Piglet, Tigger, Rabbit and Roo
Kanga, Owl, and Christopher Robin too.
So if you’d like a honey pot (or two)
You may grow up to be a Pooh!
Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
…a villain?
A villain is evil, he’s cold and he’s cruel,
He studied four years at a bad-guy prep school.
He’s got loads of cronies but pay them no mind.
They fail without fail, cause good help’s hard to find.
So if you want to capture a good guy and grill 'im.
You could grow up to be a villain.
Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…
(and could someone please explain this thread to me?)
…a thing?
A thing is a doohickey, a thingamajig,
It’s kind of, y’know, about yay big
You had one Thursday, but you can’t recall
Where you left it – or its name – at all
So if this all has a vague familiar ring
You could grow up to be a thing.
Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be…