I dated out of my league once. I was at a friend’s birthday party and this guy was there, and my eyes about bugged out of my head. Not just a great face, but totally built – not so muscled that he couldn’t put his arms at his side, but just kind of nice and cut. Anyone who works out is out of my league 99% of the time, so I simply thought “woah, way out of my league” and forgot about him…until I gave him a ride home and wound up spending the night. We dated casually for a few months, mostly just having a good time. To this day I have no idea why he was interested in me physically, but I thank the gods that he was: he was also about 15 years older than me, and I learned a lot from him.
By “league” I mean simple physical attractiveness, btw: I think I’m an 8 or 9 when it comes to personality (I really am a pretty cool chick ), but I’m fat. Which, even though I’m also cute, automatically knocks about 5 points off (“cute” is probably the only reason I date at all!). So if I see a guy and think/say “woah, he’s out of my league” what I mean is “he’s hot and could get someone way better-looking than me.” I tend to wind up with better-looking men than I expect to, but only this one has struck me as definitely being out of my league.
I would have considered my ex way out of my league when I first met him. I was overweight and not particurlarly stylish. He was (and is) a slim good-looking Italian fella who would never be caught dead without a nice outfit and good hair. I was absolutely gobsmacked that he fell for me in a big way.
How did I land him? I’m quite a bit younger but I think the main thing is that I’m a decent musician in my chosen genre. Becoming a musician has always been a good way for the ugly people to get the girls/guys.
Mind you, if the whole thing has taught me anything, is to not dismiss anyone as “out of my league” beforehand. Sure, most gorgeous people look for equally gorgeous people, but you never know what someone else finds attractive, so if you can (and it’s not easy), it’s better to enter the ring without preconceived self-limitations.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I’m an aspiring jazz vocalist (who has been in a few bands and has always had a pretty good voice) – I can second this!
Wait a minute. I’m not flirting, but I don’t think anybody is out of your league. You rock a nerd look, for sure, but I don’t think anybody would turn you down based on them looking better than you.
The nerd look rocks anyway! I was thinking kind of the same thing actually (also not flirting).
On an unrelated note, lately I’m noticing a pattern in myself of being drawn to people who, while they might not win pageants, have something about their look that appeals way more to my personal sense of aesthetics than what the mainstream considers beautiful. In other words, I’d give them a 10 where most people might say 7. Is this common?
When I meet someone who doesn’t have bowel movements, fart and piss and who aren’t ultimately going to die THEN I’ll have met someone who is out of my league.
I have in the past (and will hopefully in the future ) dated women whom others have considered to be well out of my league by virtue of looks, social station or money but I’ve yet to meet anyone who overawes me.
Hell yeah she was out of my league. Smoking hot and amazing in bed, but (later I learned) crazy as hell. I landed her by a strange, inexplicable boost of confidence perfectly timed. Still trying to figure out how to make it a regular thing.
First real girlfriend was out of my league, and left me once she realized that (three years later…).
The current girlfriend isn’t, we’re about equal I’d say.
The girl who I have been told is “interested” in me is…well…there isn’t a league small enough for me to be in, to compare to a large enough league for her to play in. We’ll kinda see.
I don’t believe I’ve ever dated any woman in my league. And I don’t necessarily mean that they’ve all been higher, either. I’m only just now finding that someone in my league is more likely to create a longer relationship. Most of mine have been rather short.
I’m in the 5-6 range, and I’ve dated at least two guys who were, objectively, a couple of points hotter than I am. Both were rock musicians, and besides their physical attractiveness I think most people assume guys like them wouldn’t go for a mousy girl like me. It sort of pisses me off when I show people pictures of my time in L.A. (where I dated Hottie #1) and they see a photo of him and say something like, “Ohhhhh, he is gorgeous!” like they’re surprised I could get him. :rolleyes: In my mind I’m thinking, yeah, he’s gorgeous and we used to do it ALL THE TIME…
I am perfectly happy being alone. This usually leads me to being single most of the time, but also to never settling for anything besides “way out of my league”.
I don’t personally believe there is anything to this league stuff. I also don’t believe that if it were actually the case anybody would really know what their league really is; when people guess higher than your guess then you suspect flattery and might be right. It also changes day to day. Here is a nifty free* SFW** way to see what your league is (check it every day!):
free: ad free; premium are accounts available but if you don’t already have one you probably won’t be getting one.
** SFW: porn free unless either you can see porn in random noise or the random bitmap image/audio goes really really wrong at the worst possible moment (i.e. the only time it can). If you, like Lore Sjöberg, consider Wikipedia and TV Tropes NSFW/NSFF then you should probably consider this site NSFW/NSFF.
^ Sorry. There is definitely a league. You may not know what league you’re in, but people are inherently prejudiced, and if you’re fat like me, there are people that will judge you just because of that. I’ve had experience with it.
To pretend like such doesn’t exist is the same as believing minority discrimination doesn’t exist.
That said, having an overly inflated view of yourself (in this arena) for men is actually linked to being liked more by women. And it’s not just because they try more–women actually rated men higher that overly ranked themselves.
I’ve had dates with women that were out of my league, looks-wise. (On the 0-10 scale, I’d say I’m a 5.5 or 6.) The women I’ve been in relationships with, though, are no more than a point above or below me. One woman I dated had a professional face shot for her acting career that made her look like an 8 or 9, but in person, she looked more … well, normal, as in “they make a cute couple” far more than “she can do much better than him”.
Really, most couples I see are similar in attractiveness. Even when I see a very attractive trophy wife-type in a well-off village near me, her husband or partner is usually similarly fit, well-groomed and attractive. I do see dramatically mismatched couples from time to time, and I wonder what their story is.
I’m a million miles from saying that people don’t judge you on you appearance. I just happen to see that any judgment on appearance is inherently subjective and therefore there can be no objective league. I know that sounds trite and cliched but it is nonetheless true. Critics review plays, ballets, movies, television, books, food, wine, music albums, computer games, and just about any thing you can actually buy and they can’t even agree on whether something is good or bad, much less accurately pick from 10 gradiations!
Yet you seem to believe so are so absolutely and universally unattractive that they could all finally be united by unanimously by your ugliness. If it is true then I am sure there is a million dollar prize or two you might want to think about collecting. Otherwise, I think you should really start considering the fact that no two people judges appearances in the same way and that maybe this mythical league is just a figment of your imagination.
We dated casually for a few months, mostly just having a good time. To this day I have no idea why he was interested in me physically, but I thank the gods that he was: he was also about 15 years older than me, and I learned a lot from him.
), but I’m fat. Which, even though I’m also cute, automatically knocks about 5 points off (“cute” is probably the only reason I date at all!). So if I see a guy and think/say “woah, he’s out of my league” what I mean is “he’s hot and could get someone way better-looking than me.” I tend to wind up with better-looking men than I expect to, but only this one has struck me as definitely being out of my league.