Never thouht I’d post in the pit, but I’m so frickin tense right now I don’t think I’m fit for the more civilised forums…
So my girlfriend and I engaged in sexual intercourse today…she’s on the pill and we had no condoms so we just went ahead (after all the pill is statistically more effective than condoms anyway).
So we had a right good time (I widthdrew before the moment of truth, more a psychological thing with me than anything else) and we carried on our regular business…everything was fine and dandy until…
I get a call from her saying ‘ummm I’ve just been looking at the instructions on my antibiotics and it says that it might disrupt the effect of the pill…’
These would be the antibiotics she started taking that day…
So a flurry of phone calls later the best advice we get is ‘take the morning after pill’ but guess what? She doesn’t want to take it cos of the side effects…I mean I know they’re bad, but bad enough to risk having to face pregnancy/childbirth/abortion???
And apparantly my opinion doesn’t ‘fuckin’ count cos it’s not my ‘fuckin’ body thats gonna be affected. True, but I still think I should have a say in the security of my future, our future…
Apparantly the risk isn’t massive given the circumstances, but if it were MY ‘fuckin’ decision I would choose to minimise the risk and bear the side effects knowing i’d done all i could.
The doc who prescribed the antibiotics should have told her that they can interfere with the pill. And if she’s THAT scared of being pregnant, she’d better either take the morning-after pills or start praying she’s not. Since she just started the antibiotics, I wouldn’t be AS worried, but if I were her, I’d definitely be concerned. I hear the side effects from morning-afters aren’t fun, but I’d do it happily to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.
I’m not trying to sound mean. But if she’s going to have sex, these things happen. And she should be ready to deal with them. It sounds like you are.
In the future, should there be any doubt, get some condoms. A little backup never hurt anybody. I feel much safer with both, myself.
I get what you’re saying whiterabbit…thing is someone told her the risk aint too big and she’s taken that as ‘too small to be worth the bother of dealing with the side effects’!!!
For the record, as a matter of course we both insist on condoms and the pill, today was a one-off…and as luck would have it…
You had best get used to pregnancy scares if you are going to go bareback. Young people’s bodies and instincts are inclined make babies as efficiently as possible. Your girlfriend is entirely correct re who the hormones will be affecting, but ( assuming you do not generate a baby this time) you need to take her attitude into consideration if you intend on having intercourse with her again. She is apparently in the “It’s my body and you have no say etc.” camp. On a practical physical level she may be fully entitled to this attitude, but this level of willfullness may also indicate that she may well “change the deal” regarding any understandings you thought you had about birth control or what happens if she gets pregnant.
People do stupid things all the time and the sublime pleasures of condom free intercouse are sometimes too tempting to forego in the heat of passion. When and if a woman actually gets pregnant a lot of the things you thought you “agreed on” (getting an abortion specifically) can get quickly thrown out the window. I think you need to think long and hard about being a daddy with this young lady as mommy before you make love again. If you make a kid you are joined at the hip forever.
Thanks for the link Qadgop it’s kinda confirmed that hopefully this isn’t AS big a problem as it should be. I guess the main thing pissing me off right now is the stubbornness of my gf in the whole morning after pill question
Every single time you have sex, the risk of unwanted pregnancy is there. Would you take the morning after pill every single morning if a man asked you to?
The chance of her being pregnant are really quite, quite small, and it’s pretty much within the bounds of reason for her to have decided that the inevitable side effects aren’t worth the small risk involved.
Frankly, if the possibility of pregnancy is hitting them both this hard, freaking them both out this badly, if they are both this freaked out, perhaps neither of them are ready to be having sex with each other: if a pregnancy would be the end of the world, they probably oughta stick to oral/anal/manual sex until they reach a point in their lives when it would be only catastrophic.
Point taken Manda, but you’ve gotta admit that we can’t be special cases of people who would be devastated by an unwanted pregnancy and yet choose to show their love and affection for each other through intercourse.
Everyone is saying ‘the chances are quite small’, can anyone get some figures on that?
I really don’t see how this is her being so stubborn. The degree to which being on the first day of a course of antibiotics would make her more likely to be pregnant from a single act of intercourse during which you did not ejaculate inside of her is really, really small. Forgoing the condom also raised the risks: why didn’t you think it she needed to take the morning after pill as a result of THAT raised risk? How is THIS raised risk different?
It sounds like AFTER her period (which will come!) when you two have calmed down, you really need to sit down and talk about what’s going on. LIke I said above, if hte thought of her getting pregnant freaks you out this much, quit having vaginal intercourse with her.
But it’s not your body, so it’s not your decision. Let’s put it this way, green_dragon: do you think she has the right to tell you what medications you should take, no matter how you may feel about side effects or other consequences? It is her body, and yeah, she gets final say over it.
I dunno: I waited until potential pregnancy went from end-of-the-world status to major-oh-fuck-but-let’s deal status before I had intercourse. When’s that point? It varies from person to person, and from relationship to relationship.
I understand her POV yosemite but surely in a decision which could potentially change both our lives in every imaginable way I should get a say? If I could take on the burden of the side effects I would without a second thought, no matter how bad they were. We are talking a miniscule period of time as compared to a lifetime; where’s the perspective?
Oh and to all people who are subtly implying that I’ve been a right dumbass: yes I have, I KNOW that doesn’t stop me worrying about the consequences.
Oh and Manda the difference is that in normal circumstances sex with the pill but not a condom is considered pretty safe; things geta little terrifying when there’s big bold words in an instruction manual saying YOU CANNOT RELY ON THE PILL ALONE WHEN USING THIS MEDICATION. And no, I didn’t know she was on antibiotics, and I didn’t find this out till some hours later.
I had more side effects from my birth control pills than I did from when I took the morning after pill. But the longer you wait, the less effect it has. If you going to do it, you must take it within 48 hours.
From what you said, you have a really low chance of getting pregnant either way.
Should get a say? Certainly, given the potential magnitude of the impact on both of you it would only be fair. Will get a say? Based on the interaction you have described between you and she to date, and given the nature of human nature I don’t think I’d bet the farm on it if I were you.
You did get a say, when you decided to have sex with her. Furthermore, she may well have thought long and hard about your words nad still made the desicion she did: surely oyu can see how it’s possible that you have “say” but not the final word?
But you can’t: that’s the point.
But you didn’t rely on the pill alone–you didn’t ejaculate in her. This certainly isn’t the BEST form of birth control in the world, but it isn’t totally useless, either. Just like the pill isn’t hte best form of birthcontrol when you are on antibiotics, but it isn’t erxactyl useless, either. IANAD, (and our real doc can chime in and correct me if I’m wrong here), but the risk of her getting pregnant is really fucking slight here. Just because it’s not the decision you would make dosen’t mean it’s a totally unresonable choice.
Green Dragon,
since no one else has said it, you have something like 48 hours to get a morning-after pill. Go to any pharmacy and ask for emergency contraception. And in case it’s an issue for you, the morning-after pill is not an abortion pill It prevents conception from ever occorring.
Astro, you know I love you dearly, but I think you are missing the point here: just because the final outcome isn’t what he would chose doesn’t mean he didn’t get a say: if he could have forced the issue that would have meant that SHE had no say, and that wouldn’t be right either. She may well have taken his wishes into account, wieghed the costs and the risks, and reached her desicion. “Having a say” does not mean your preferences will always win out.
I’ve only read the OP, so if I’m repeating anything, I’m sorry. (Harvey’s on TCM!)
I’m not impressed that she’s taking this so lightly. The morning-after pill doesn’t make you projectile vomit while your head spins. The one time I’ve taken it, I was also given Gravol and I felt fine. Being pregnant would be a lot more bothersome, IMO.
Her doctor should have informed her of the antibiotics affecting her BC pills. Spankings for him/her! Even the pharmacist should have told her.
Also, if I were you, I’d wear a condom from now on. There’s still the risk even with the pill and if this is her attitude about getting pregnant, I find it worrisome. You obviously don’t want to be a daddy yet, so make sure your ass is covered.