It prevents implantation. There are those who will say that conception starts before then, so they’ll still consider it an “abortion pill”. <shrugs>
I don’t disagree with your root philosophical point or logic Manda. I was making a somewhat sardonic observation to his earnest entreaty as to the realities of what often happens when a girl and boy have a pregnancy in their laps to deal with, and the changes in attitude that can occur in that situation. In previewing I removed some of the more pointed sarcasm from that post to make it more palatable and in retrospect the arch nature of the observation was lost.
[sub]These clumsy fingers using words like blunt instruments. I’m so ashamed.[/sub]
Green_Dragon from what I’ve read, there is a small chance she may be pregnant, but it is a very small chance, no figures, sorry.
May I suggest one thing ? Once the stress levels die down, the preggers tests are clear and your girlfriend menstruates, I think you both need to have a big think, followed by a big talk.
This should be a major wake-up call to you. This panic has made it crystal clear to you just how much your future could be in someone elses hands. Now it’s your job to weigh your options. I would advise refraining from sex if no condoms are available. Using two birth control options will make you feel much safer. Discussion is good, but it doesn’t protect you enough, especially when the girl can change her mind and she holds veto power. You need to go that extra mile to protect yourself, because you can’t rely on others to do so for you.
Good luck.
I really have to wonder about this girl. It’s damn near impossible to not know that antibiotics can affect bcp. I was on them for a while, and I had that info beaten into my head before I got the script from my gyno, before my regular doc prescribed the ab’s, and when I picked the ab’s up from the pharmacy, and there was a note in the info sheet and a sticker on the vial for good measure. Besides, who doesn’t read the info sheets before starting a new drug? You know, in case it turns your pee blue or causes stomach cramps or interacts with something you’re already taking?
If she doesn’t want to take the morning after pill, that’s her decision and her decision alone, really. Personally, I’d prefer to have some stomach problems for a few days than to sit and sweat for a few weeks waiting for my period, but that’s just me. It’s her body, and her decision.
I do have to wonder why she bothered to call and freak you out if she’s not going to do anything to ease your mind, though. If she’s not pregnant (and the chances are really low that she is), she’s just put you through a few weeks of hell for no reason. If she is pregnant (and I assume she doesn’t want to be), then you guys have to not only deal with that but also this whole argument cropping up again. I just don’t see the benefit for anybody.
Consider this an object lesson. You’re getting a first-hand look at just how much power over your life you give someone when you have sex with them. Keep this in the back of your mind when choosing your partners in the future.
OK several things:
We’re 19
She was just as freaked as I when she informed me of the situation…however having sought some professional advice I told her about the whole ‘very small chance you’d only just started the antibiotics’ deal and from that point on she seemed totally relaxed.
Everyone who’s advised a step back and a good long hard think about the situation, don’t worry its been a source of perspective for me and I hope for her too…
Latest advice I’ve got my hands on is for her to take a break from her pill now (as she has just completed 3 weeks worth, usually she does 6 weeks before a break but apparantly doing 3 weeks, break, 3 weeks, break should be fine) and depending on what happens in the next day or two, take the MA pill.
Sounds like a good ‘halfway house’ to me, but seeing as we’ve not spoken about it yet I don’t know how she will like it…
I’d also like to thank everybody who’s so far posted for doing so in such a nice manner, especially seeing as we’re in the pit and all…the mini-debate between Manda and astro I have in particular found interesting as a whole different take on my role in this relationship/decision.
green_dragon, I’m a bit old fashioned about sex, but I would sit down with her sometime and talk about what happens if she gets pregnant, and, if you can’t agree on it, you might want to re-thing your relationship. Also, if she’s interested in long-term birth control, I strongly recommend Depo-Provera, which given via injection once every 3 months and is slightly more reliable than the pill. I’m not sure how it’s affected by anti-biotics, though.
I can’t conceive of having sex with someone I don’t know and like well enough to talk to about important things, including the less fun potential consequences of sex, but that’s just me.
Good luck!
CJ
ok.
i took the MAP about 4 years ago (condom tore), so it was the Schering PC-4, and that has much worse effects than the newer ones.
the side effects that i experienced were simply nausea, and a little vomiting.
if she’s on the BCP anyway, she is unlikely to get bad symptoms, and they are over within a day or so.
morning sickness, OTOH is a bit more unpleasant.
if she takes a break now, she’ll get a breakthrough bleed, but since this isn’t a real period, it’s not failsafe.
basically,taking the MAP is probably not the nicest thing, but it probably isn’t as bad as she thinks it’s going to be.
irishgirl, thanks for your input. I think the main issue with the MAP is that she has taken it once before (when NOT on the BCP) and experienced extremely bad side effects, for about 3 weeks afterwards…however you’re not the first person to say that being on the BCP might reduce the symptoms.
Dear Green Dragon,
It would seem to me like your girlfriend has a different POV re: birth control than you do. What’s done now is done. If she is pregnant, you will have to deal with that and be a father to the child (as well as pay child support for the next 18 years). If she is Not pregnant, you need to understand that her POV will always take precedence over yours.
Once you understand that she doesn’t have what it takes to ensure that no conception takes place, something you both agreed to by birthcontrol, then you will see that you can not trust her. Once you see that, you’ll see that you need to end the relationship with her and never have sex with her again.
There are other girls out there, but before you go out to try to meet them, you need some condoms. You also need to get used to the condoms beforehand. Also when you find a girl who may be right for you, then you need to ask the hard questions of girls who may be potential partners:
Would you take the morning after pill to prevent conception?
Do you believe in abortion?
If contreceptives fail, would you agree to have an abortion?
If the answer is no to Any of these questions, put it back in your pants and Go Home. You should never trust that a woman is on the pill until or unless you see the pink package. You should still use a condom anyway (and possibly spermicidal foam).
Remember: Its either that or be prepared to be called ‘Daddy’.
[quote]
Originally posted by green_dragon**
Latest advice I’ve got my hands on is for her to take a break from her pill now (as she has just completed 3 weeks worth, usually she does 6 weeks before a break but apparantly doing 3 weeks, break, 3 weeks, break should be fine) and depending on what happens in the next day or two, take the MA pill.**
Would you please explain what you mean by a ‘break’? If she’s on traditional birth control pills, the norm is to take them for three weeks with a one-week break, or take the final 7 placebos to help her to remember when to start the next week’s course. If she’s taking pills for three weeks with a three week break, there won’t be a heck of a lot of contraception going on.
I took the MAP 5 years ago when they were more unpleasant than they are now, and the side effects really are not that bad.
It doesn’t make you gush blood, projectile vomit, head spin around, comatose. I got a little bit of stomach upset (cured by ginger ale) and a very mild headache. The ones I had, had to be taken within 72 hours of sex and had to have a pregnancy test before taking them.
The MAP was far less unpleasant than worrying for the next month or so about being pregnant, or finding out I was pregnant.
Look, guys, the girl has been on the things before, and they apparently made her sick enough that she prefers what is really a very miniscule risk. Accounts of how the MAP wasn’t so bad for any other individual really have about as much bearing as dismissing some other woman’s cramps becuase your cramps aren’t a big deal. Women react very differnetly to hormones.
And I still have not been convinced that this girl has done anything horrible, or shown that she " doesn’t have what it takes to ensure that no conception takes place". The risk she has deemed as “acceptable” is pretty damn slight: it’s not like she told him after sex that she was relying on coca-cola douches or homeopathic remedies: it’s not like they had totally unprotected sex.
What they need to do is call a doctor and get some real medical advicse, not just friend-of-a-friend stuff, especialy before they try and “force” a period (which, as pointed out, won’t prove anything). But I am pretty sure that a doctor is going to say that the risk of pregnancy is this situation (single sexual encounter, it was the first day of antibiotics, he didn’t ejaculate inside of her) is very slight. Under those circumstances, I think it is within the bounds of reason for her to not do sometihng that she knows, from oersonal experience, wil make her sick for three weeks.
And you can’t say that “any risk is too much risk” because is ANY risk is too much risk, quit having sex. It’s all about managing risk and deciding at what point the risks outweigh the inconvenience: they decided that htey didn’t need an IUD in addition to the pill and conemns; they decided that the extra protection a condem gives wasn’t worth the inconvenience of not having sex for a day. She decided that the extra protection that the morning afterpill gives isn’t worth the inconvenience of being sick for three weeks. It’s all part of hte same continuim.
My god, if he wanted her to take the morning after pill every time they had sex AND get and IUD AND be on the pill AND use condems, and she refused, saying “this is what I’ll do, take it or leave it”, would we be saying be saying that she “doesn’t have what it takes to ensure that no conception takes place” or accuse her of not taking the risk or pregnancy seriously?? No, we’d be saying that that was an unreasonable amount of precaution, it wasn’t worth the inconvenience, and he shouldn’t be mad at her, he should just accept her standards as valid and then decide to either go along or leave. While this situation is MORE grey than my hypothetical, I think the situation is still grey enough that we can’t just dismiss her as being immature.
Did you even read the OP? She refuses to take the morning after pill.
Ginger is right. I don’t know what brand of pills your girlfriend is on but it is “normal” to take active pills for 3 weeks, then 1 week of placebos or nothing. During the week of placebos is when she would get her period anyway, so if she has just completed her 3 weeks of active pills and is on her week off now, she should be getting her period (usually 1-3 days after stopping active pills).
This would not be a typically fertile time, but stranger things have been known to happen. If she has only taken antibiotics for one day, and you pulled out, the chance of pregnancy is really very small. However, I would use this opportunity to talk things over with your girlfriend and get a better line of communication open about your sex life and the risks thereof.
Before you go out and buy a MAP, let me clear up a common misconception which I learned when my wife and I were trying to get pregnant.
Just because you have sex, does not mean you will get pregnant. Sperm live about 3-4 days MAX inside a woman. And the little swimmers can only impregnant an egg IF she ovulated shortly before, during, or shortly after intercourse. For a woman with a normal 28-day cycle, ovulation occurs around day 14 - 14 days after her last period started.
So, what is the timing between last period and intercourse? While this is not an exact science (hence the reason people who practice periodic abstinence are often called parents), it could alleviate some of your concern.
Another factor which would minimize your chances of getting her pregnant is when you last ejaculated. Sperm count is lower for the 48 hours after each time. If you tossed off recently before the intercourse, you would have deposited fewer sperm - hence even lower chance of conception.
Perhaps too young to be having sex then?
Seriously, maybe get a vibrator and engage in some good oldfashioned mutal masturbation. You’ll both feel good, get off WITHOUT the panic of maybe bneing new parents.
mutual*
being*
** Velma** and Ginger, I may be wrong about this (and Qadgop, pelase correct me if I am), but it is my impression that it is getting pretty common these days for doctors to tell patients to take the pills for 6 weeks, then one week off, then six weeks. The three-on, one-off mimicing a 28-day cycle thing was built into pills as a way to make them seem more “natural”, and isn’t realy medically imperititive: there’s no real medical reason not to have 6 periods a year instead of 12. I think he is sugguesting that they stop after three weeks instead of waiting the full six. This may be a good idea, but they need to CALL A DOCTOR, not jsut rely on a friend’s medical advise.
Not everyone has side effects with the morning after pill.
And compared to the “side effects” and 18-year-minimum commitment of pregnancy and childbirth, they would be a piece of piss.
No offence, but this girl sounds way too young, stupid and irresponsible to be having sex, let alone a family.
But this girl knows, from personal experience, that she has severe side effects.
Then why not take them every time you have sex?