Honestly I would just ask the families if you’re worried about it, I think it could go either way, just depending on who will be at the wedding that they know. Also, you know you can also serve them the under-12 menu and still seat them with their parents, I’ve seen it done that way.
What is it about mothers and fruit cake? My husband’s mother did the same thing. Since she was making it, well - fair enough, I guess. But most sensible people ate the other layer (chocolate)
I can at least understand the expense angle, but will the kiddies get those great vegetables on the menu? And baked chicken seems like a great alternative to chicken fingers.
Children dining together can be great. I remember seeing a party of 2 moms and about 8 children ages 0 to 5 at a restaurant. The oldest boy turns to the girl sitting next to him as they are waiting for the food and says in a clear polite tone, “I like food. Do you like food?” I hope your children guests have a good time, and I think it more likely if they sit together and not with their parents.
I think the “wedding cake is a fruitcake” thing is a British Commonwealth tradition. Certainly, my Canadian mother and grandmother didn’t consider that a wedding cake could be anything other than fruitcake. My Australian relatives have mentioned wedding cakes are fruitcakes too.
Both Mom and Grandma were dead when I got married, but I well remember my American fiancee (who is now my wife), who had been in Canada long enough to have been to a few weddings, asking me, “Can we not have fruitcake at our wedding?” Seems she had never encountered a wedding fruitcake until she came to Canada, and then that’s all she found at the Canadian weddings she attended. So we didn’t have a fruitcake; I guess I’m not the traditionalist my mother was. But it certainly seems to be a traditional thing in the British Commonwealth.
The only “fruit cake” I’ve seen at weddings was a layer cake with some strawberries and/or banana slices in the middle portion along with the icing. Yummy! I like carrot cake, but I wouldn’t expect it at a wedding.
As for the kids who might want prime rib-they could always come out and sample some of Mom’s and Dad’s, perhaps. Either way, I’d have LOVED the chicken-but mostly the fries. What kid-hell, WHO doesn’t like french fries? (Yes, I know there are plenty out there. But I happen to love fries.) I loved steak when I was a kid, but I wouldn’t have cared if I got chicken fingers instead.
That’s what I was going to say. My husband’s family had a big reunion over the summer and there was a kids’ table for about 20 children. They were offered a choice of chicken fingers/fries or something else simple, like a hamburger or something. There was one child there who put up a fuss and demanded something else. I don’t think this points to how deficient the rest of us are as parents that the children would accept such simple fare. In fact, I think that the one outlier should have been given a message about how to politely ask for an alternative off the grown-up menu.
I think the idea of a paper-covered table w/ crayons is a great one. There are also some simple Klutz books that might be a good diversion for little ones, if you care to take on that expense.