Paris Hilton is an idiot...again

No surprise here, just the newest in the land of the lame. In the ‘people’ section of our paper, I read that she has decided not to marry her Greek heir boyfriend for some reason or another that nobody cares in the least about. But the statement that capped it off was “I’ve worked too hard to get where I am.”

Yeah, crawling out of that womb can be a real bitch, ya know? :rolleyes: I pit her skanky self.

The Olympic multiple gold medallist Ian Thorpe apparently got past his hangups to give her a good load I’m told by someone in the know…

Aw, c’mon people. Where’s the love? Paris works very hard being a ditzy beyotch, and will likely need knee reconstruction or lip/jaw surgery from the many hours she’s spent applying her lipstick to the turgid members of countless males. In a few years she’ll start a foundation for homeless waifs who spent their formative years performing fellatio and then you’ll realize her heart was kind. :wink:

I loved the South Park where a biker shoved her up his butt.

She did her own stunts for that.

Turgid, now there’s a five dollar word. Mind if I borrow it?

Every time I hear people bitching about Paris Hilton all I can think is “Wow these people know next to nothing about the entertainment industry.”


Be my guest. Tumescent is another related goodie, as is tumid. :stuck_out_tongue:

Nitpick: Not a biker. Mr. Garrison’s boyfriend, Mr. Slave. He’s a leatherman. “Jesuth Chritht…”

Sure, her being a ditzy bitch may be because of the entertainment industry, but she’s still a ditzy bitch.

It ain’t good when you can arouse jealousy from a sperm bank.

C’mon, she worked [DEL]it[/DEL] very hard making “One Night In Paris”.

She does work hard at making other selfish, narcissitic, asshole celebrities look good in comparison. That is really difficult to do, especially when she has Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan to outdo. She must be exhausted!

Hey, being a ditzy bitch is one thing. Thinking it’s easy to do what she’s done when surrounded by vampires and harpies, regardless of her name being Hilton. There are a lot of celebrity and wealthy children that are not as famous as she is. Anyone that thinks being a whore is easy has never met a whore. It’s one of the most difficult professions in the world.


Damn! And just yesterday I nominated her for President in 2008 on the Republican ticket! Now it’s into full spin control mode!

Press Release rough draft 1

Paris’s breakup with her boyfriend was motivated by strong aesthetic and artistic difference. Paris is of course heartbroken and doesn’t want to talk about it, but she does want her fans to know that she intends to carry on, Celine Dion style, and that she hopes to have a new guy installed in her heart by … this evening. Or this afternoon. Whichever comes quicker.

Yeah, that oughtta do it.

Word on the street is actually that Paris Latsis’s mommy didn’t want her sullying the bloodline and so forced him to call it off, otherwise she would have cut him off from the family money.

[sub]oh, sweet jesus, i have something in common with paris hilton…[/sub]

No, it isn’t. Being a migrant farm worker is hard. Being a Neurosurgeon is difficult. Being Paris Hilton is neither hard nor difficult.

neither is doing her, apparently.

omg but i think shes so cool tho

I nominated her for Republican Presidential candidate first!