Phrases You've Heard So Many Times You Can Recite Them from Memory

In My Humble Opinion
1

This thread is about phrases that you’ve heard on TV, the radio, etc. that you’ve heard so many times, you find yourself reciting them along with the announcer without even realizing you’re doing it.

For example, this one that I’ve heard about 100,000 times:

“This copyrighted telecast is presented by the authority of the Chicago National League Ball Club, which has the right of approval of the announcers and is intended solely for the private, non-commercial use of our audience. Any publication, reproduction, re-transmission, or other use of the pictures, descriptions, and accounts of this game, without the express, written consent of the Chicago National League Ball Club is prohibited.”

Or this one:

“…the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head, fever so-you-can-rest medicine.”

Or the classic: “I want an official Red Rider, carbide action, 200-shot range model air rifle :D!”

Or my favorite, which I hear every Wednesday afternoon at 5:04 P.M. CST:

“But now, a more sophisticated populace has the means and information at hand to respond to a player, coach, owner, rule, league, official, or situation that offends. It’s right. It’s democratic. It’s BITE ME Wednesday!” God bless One on One Sports and Papa Joe Chevallier.

Any more?

2

“This is Loveline, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 320-854-4455. I’m Adam Carolla, that’s Dr. Drew, he is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.”

There are also many MANY radio commercials (mostly public safety ads) that have been playing on my local radio station EVERY NIGHT for the last 3 years or so, which I can recite word-for-word. But I won’t right now, because that would be rather pointless. Most of them end with “A public safety message from the department of ad councils and this station.” Or something like that.

Also,

"Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge breaks to new mutiny*
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life,
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love
And the continuance of their parents’ rage*
which naught but with their death one could remove*
is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage.
To which of you with patient ears attend
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend

  • I don’t know if I got these lines word-for-word, it’s been a while.

That one’s not so amazing, except that I learned it last year in my English class without even realizing it. I was never assigned to memorize it at all, I just overheard it so many times it stuck in my head.

3

I knew this one by heart by the time I was 5:

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.
BEEEEEEEEEP-
This had been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters in your area, in voluntary co-operation with the F.C.C. and other local authorities, have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.
Had this been an actual emergency, the attention signal you just heard would have been follo9wed by official news and information.
This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

I have never heard the EBS actually being used, so I guess whenever thay do use it the emergency will have to be a biggie. I figure if it ever is an actual emergency, we’re all screwed.

4

I can recite the theme songs to both Will & Grace and ER on command.

Oh yeah “Aflac!” It took me five times, but I finally memorized that one.

5

"When I was one, I had just begun,
When I was two, I was still new,
When I was three, I was barely me,
When I was four, I was not much more,
When I was five, I was just alive.

But now that I’m six, I’m as clever as ever,
and I think I’ll be six now, forever and ever."

			Milne
6

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

7

“Keep your eyes open when you kiss. Do, when you kiss. All silly time else close them to. Unsleeping, I implore you, dear, pusue in darkness me as I do you again. Instantly we part, only me, both, then. And when your fingers fall let there be two, only, in that dream kingdom; I would have you, me alone recognize your citizen.
Before, who wanted eyes making love so? I do, now. However, we are driven, and hide. What state we keep all other states condemn; we see ourselves, we watch the solemn glow of empty courts we kiss in. Open wide. You do, you do, and I look into them.”

That’s a poem by John Berryman; I’m not sure on the linebreaks or punctuation, though. For a poetry class I took last year we learned the art of reading poetry by reciting this aloud to a random fellow student. I ended up memorizing it.

Also:

“This is NPR, National Public Radio” (which I must always mimic in a voice as snooty as the anouncers.)

I used to have a bunch of commercials memorized, but since ditching the teevee last summer they seemed to have happliy slipped from my mind. :slight_smile:

8

You have the right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney and to have the attorney present during questioning …

(I know this from watching TV, I swear.)

9

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfillment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father.
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. AMEN.

10

James James
Morrison Morrison
Wetherby George Dupree
Took great
Care of his mother
Though he was only three.
James James
Said to his mother
Mother he said said he
“You must never go down to the end of the town if you don’t go down with me.”
:smiley:

11

At least the Americans among us should be able to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, or the Star Spangled Banner.
I used to have Al Pacino’s monologue at the end of “And Justice for All” memorized, but I can’t do it word for word any more. (“I have just concluded my opening statement.”)

Also, I used to be able to recite from memory several Star Trek speeches, and large portions of “Animal House” and “The Lion in Winter”.

12

Conan! What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union…

This magazine says that 92% a honeys at UCLA ah sexually active. That’s 92% a hotties at UCLA walkin around saying ‘hm, class, or sex, what shall I do?’ NINEty TWO pahCENT, yo! You know wha dat means? It means I gots a 92% chance a EMBARASSIN myself. 'Cause I roll up on that like “what’s up?” and she’ll say “you don’t know 20 different ways to make me call you big poppa”, cause I don’t, yo.

WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, the weep of every babe, every woman who cries out ‘Dear God! what is that thing?’ will echo in your perfect ears. THAT is what ‘to the pain’ means; it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Good? Bad? ::shaking head:: I’m the guy with the gun.

Klaatu! Berata! Nihemnehemn…

13

Good evening my lords, my ladies, gentlemen and gentlewomen. Tonight we play the history of Tom Jones, the foundling. I am your humble servant, Partridge. Our story takes place more than three hundred years ago, when the world was indeed wicked, bawdy, and licentious; in short, a time like any other. Tom Jones was born, or rather found, in Sommersetshire, in the home of Squire Allworthy. This is the Squire’s sister, Miss Bridget Allworthy. She is to be commended for her…good qualities, rather than her…beauty.

“I thank heavens I have not the beauty of the ladies of fashion. Beauty leads a woman to misfortune!”

Have no fear… This is the squire himself, returned home after a journey of some months.

“Welcome home, brother!” “Thank you, sister!”

The squire, exhausted…(“I’m exhausted”)…retired at once to his chamber, from which issued a great cry.

“Ahhh! Merciful heavens!” “What’s happened to the master?” “Brother, what’s happened?”

“In my room, a baby!” “La, Squire, wherever did it come from?” “From my pillow.” “Congratulations!” “Nonsense, the child is not mine.” “Of course not, but many honest people will delight in saying so all the same.”

“It was Jenny Jones.” “Jenny Jones?!” “She has been seen walking out with the schoolmaster, Mr. Partridge.”

That’s a lie!

“The whole village knows. You’ve been seen.”

I was merely teaching her Greek and Latin.

“What need does a scullery maid have of Greek and Latin?” “Bring Jenny Jones to me.”

It’s true that Jenny is a scullery maid, but she has a good inquiring mind.

“I’m afraid she has inquired a bit too far.” “Jenny Jones, are you the mother of this child.” “Yes, master, I brought him to you hoping you could give him a good home.” “But who is the father?” “I am under the most solemn oath not to reveal his name, at this time.” “Brother, I beseech you to help this unfortunate girl.”

[/quote]

And I can go on (though I’m sure I missed a bit). This is from a one-act play that I was crew on (not even cast on that one) five years ago. Time was I could recite all 35 minutes’ worth (would do it to try to fall asleep).

And one from German that same year (much phonetically, so probably a few spelling mistakes, if not worse):

Ich weiss nicht, was soll es bedeuten
Das ich so traurig bin
Ein Märchen aus alten Zeiten
Das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn

Die Luft ist kühl, und es dunkelt
Und ruhig fliest der Rhein
Die Gipfel des Berges funkelt
Im Abendsonnenschein

Die schönste Jungfrau sitzet dort oben wunderbar
Ihr goldnes Geschmeide bliztet
Sie kämmt ihr goldnes Haar
Sie kämmt es mit goldenem Kaame
Und singt ein Lied dabei
Das hat eine wundersame gewaltige Melodei

Der Schiffer im kleinen Schiffe
Ergreift es mit wildem Weh
Er sieht nicht die Felsenriffe
Er shauft nur hinauf in die Höh
Ich glaube die Wellen verschlingen
Am Ende Schiffer und Kahn
Und das hat mit ihrem Singen
Die Lorelei getan.

14

Well… not really German.

Achtung alles lookenpeepers! Das instrumenten is nicht fur gerfingerpokin und hittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springerwerk und blowen fusen mit spitzen sparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dumbkophs. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in der pokets, relax und vatch der blinken lights.
This was posted in the Audio Visual lab where I was a tech in high school back in another lifetime.

15

the first time I met Ed was in the county lockup in Tempe Arizona,
“Dont forget his profile , Ed!”
‘Turn to the right!’
“what kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?”
‘Short for Edwina,Turn to the right!’
“you’re a flower you are, a sweet little desert flower”
<quizzical look>
“you let me know how those turn out now ,you hear”
<slaps own ass>

“now prison is a very structured environment,more structured
than some folks care for…”

when the still seas conspire in armour,
true sailing is dead!

‘Fill your hands you son of a bitch!’

there’s more,but I must go take my meds now,
you’ve gotten the voices started again

dammit

16

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. To secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. And whenever government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to abolish or to destroy it, providing new safeguards for their future security and happiness.

17

Surgoshan–I’ve never heard of this, and don’t know where it’s from, but NO THANKS to you for reminding me of what a loser I am, not being able to get laid during the 4+ years I was at UCLA!! :frowning: :mad: :confused:

18

She should have died herafter,
there would have been a place for such things

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
creeps this petty pace from day to day
and all our yesterdays lead
to a dusty death
Out! Out! Damn spot, life is
but a walking shadow, a poor player
who struts and frets his hour upon
the stage and is heard no more
it is a tale fully of sound and fury
signifing nothing…
-Macbeth (More or Less)

19

Eleven years after learning it, I can still recite the first several parts of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales – in the original Middle English (or whatever it was) – and frequenty find myself doing this on long drives or when I’m concentrating on something that leaves my mind free to wander. I’ve received more than a few quizzical looks from passersby or coworkers who wondered what the sing-song gibberish was emanating from my desk…

I recited this once for a letter grade (part of a presentation we had to give in class) and it’s stuck with me since.

20

“Please stand clear of the doors.
Por favor, mantengase alehadro de las puertas.”

  • WDW Monorail System

[sub](Apologies - I do not write or speak Spanish. Spanglish, yes.)[/sub]