I once read (in a porno magazine, ironically) that the best pick-up line is “Jackson Pollock was the first uniquely American painter”. Needless to say, this line has not resulted in a whole lot of nookie; instead it just requires one to explain who jackson Pollack is and why you brought him up for no reason in a bar.
So I’m looking for new pick-up lines. I think I’m going to start using: “I’d love to stay and chat, but I have to go and check on Schrödinger’s cat.”
You expect us to believe you were reading a porn mag? Ok, I’ll play along with your denial.
And I don’t know what kind of bars you’re going to, but if you use the “Schrödinger’s cat” line, she’ll either think you have a friend by the name and will say goodbye, that this is a new euphimism for taking a piss, or that you’re making some weird reference to the kid who plays the piano in the Peanuts comic strip.
Personally, I’d say, “Is it cold in here, or are your nipples always like that?” 
Or maybe I’d say something like, “You know I hear the drink the “Screwdriver” got its name from the first one being mixed with a screwdriver. I’d hate to think how a Highball got it’s name.”
“Those jeans are very becoming on you. But then, if I was on you, I’d be-coming too.”
You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.
“This is a boring party and I’m going home to bed… are you coming?”
This one I came up with hasn’t gotten me much more than a slap on the face, but maybe it’ll work for you…
“Hey, my dick doesn’t suck itself!”
Enjoy.
Well, there’s always the classic:
“nice shoes, wanna fuck?”
Though “boots” may be substituted if the case warrants. 
I always liked the line, “I seem to have misplaced my telephone number, can I have yours?”
Good for a laugh any time any place.
Bearing an uncanny resemblance to one Jesus H. Christ (visit http://misfitmagazine.tripod.com/pics/jesus.jpg for proof), I’ve created some specialized pick-up lines for myself. Here they are, for your perusal:
I appologize for some of these being so crude.
I hate to admit it; I think the Schrodinger’s cat one would work on me, but I’ve actually read the trilogy. I don’t think there are very many people who have that would be in a situation in which pick-up lines were applicable. Although as for that, it’s a great pick-up line for weeding out people with whom you don’t have much in common.
My personal favorite has always been:
Me - “Excuse me, do you know what fucks like a tiger and winks?”
You - “I don’t know. What?”
Me - 
Have you got a mirror in your underwear?
Because I can definately see myself in them.
Ok, on relfection that makes me sound like a cross-dresser.
I’ll just repeat a line I overheard in a bar.
“Hi. I have alot of money.”
It seemed to work for him. Two good-looking women suddenly paid him plenty of attention.
The best I ever overheard was this really well dressed guy.
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: No thanks.
Guy Then can I buy you a house?
Too bad I don’t have the guts to try something like that.
Take the lady by the hand and say:
If I profane with my unworthy hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
Then, you kiss her hand (obviously).
(This was Romeo’s pickup line from R&J)
Hi ASL?
“So. Can you pee standing up? Come on, I’ll show you how it’s done.”
I don’t think that’d work.
Hey babe, take my hand and I’ll take you to love land.
When I getcha under the cover I’ll promise to be your righteous LOVER.
Hey baby, let’s quit lustin’ it and start bustin’ it.
Of course I have plenty more…
Can I buy you a drink or would you rather just have the cash?
My name is Bruce. But you can call me (screaming): BRUUUUUUUUUUUUCE!!! (Feel free to substitute your own name where appropriate.)
(to an overly-slender woman:) You need some meat on you-how about me?
I’ll give you $100 for the pair of panties you’re wearing right now.
Sure is nice out…mind if I leave it out?
I have chocolates! I have silk stockings!
Wow. Are those real?
Gee…how ever does someone get into those jeans - could I start by buying you a drink?
Oops…should have left a space after the : above and : ) turned into :).
this is a pickup line a guy actually used on me once, we were sitting on my couch and he said to me “the word of the day is legs, lets go upstairs and spread the word”
