Since Trump seems to have such a facility with inane nicknames, I thought we could come up with something substantially more pointed and appropriate. A few ground rules:
Let’s avoid scatology or, basically, anything that’s NSFW. “Dipshit” Donald might be satisfying (and even accurate), but let’s not go there. We’re supposed to be above that.
Wicked humor is alright, so long as your average 5-year old could repeat it without getting punished by his/her parents…and nothing libelous that even the 1st Amendment wouldn’t protect.
Look for something that has a ring to it, better than “Lyin’” Ted or “Crooked” Hillary. My thought was a two-syllable D-word, but that’s obviously not hard and fast.
There’s no limit on the number of names submitted by a single person.
Winner is by plurality acclaim.
Who knows, maybe if it’s good enough, we could start a hashtag trend. Come on, Dopers, exercise your creativity.
The winner gets the satisfaction of having beaten Trump at his own game (not all that difficult, I grant you). And maybe a cookie.
P.S. I’ll post some of my own when I come up with them.
According to Scott Adams (whose blog I read regularly, and who has written a long and interesting series about Trump’s campaign tactics), the key to making a nickname stick to a person is to make it something which actually comes across in their behaviour. For example, when Trump called Jeb Bush ‘low-energy’, that worked because Bush has a quiet, measured way of speaking and every time they saw him speak that reminded people: “Low-energy”.
So, with that in mind, I’d suggest something like Bigmouth Don, or Don the Yapper or something like that. It’s juvenile and stupid but I reckon it’s the kind of nickname Trump would come up with if he were somehow campaigning against himself.
It surfaced from the many nicknames they tried on him at Spy magazine in the 80’s. It bugs him and always has.
Observation: no one has referred to Donald Trump as a “Pig”. It seems like it would be such a good fit: Pig is used to describe ill-mannered, boorish (boarish? ;)) oafs; has that “male chauvinist pig” implication, etc. No one embodies “Pig” better than The Donald. “Donald Trump is a Pig” just rings true.
So I guess I would say Donald the Pig, Piggy Donald, or my personal favorite for reasons I can’t explain, Pig-Boy Donald or simply Pig-Boy.
Well, it’s more of a descriptor than an a nickname. Still, I like it just because it got under Trump’s skin so much. SPY’s Graydon Carter claims he still receives pictures of the Donald with the hands circled and the comment ‘not so short’ written on them.
“Donald Trump” is the answer to a question nobody asked: what if someone tried to follow in Mitt Romney’s footsteps, by gunning for the Republican nomination by pointing to his successes as a businessman – only without the time spent as a Governor, and without a ground game to win a majority of delegates, and without a good haircut? So, like, not a successful candidate, but a guy trying to ape one?
Some funny stuff there, but I was looking for something that would be immediately and obviously recognized as applying to the Donald, and that is in a similar form to his own nicknames.
My personal favorite is “His Hairness” for the double entendre, but even that doesn’t explicitly imply who it refers to.
It’s also hilarious that he doesn’t seem to realize that it originated not as a claim that his fingers are literally short, but a reference to his record of not paying people money he owes them, IOW, short-fingered = keeps his money close.
With his whole shtick about always being a “winner”, when he goes down this fall (or sooner) “Biggest Loser” would fit him quite well. Maybe even fold into another TV gig? His followers would thrill to seeing him work off all that campaign-trail food.
