So, my boyfriend of two months calls up last night and tells me the woman that he was with before me has just told him that she is pregnant by him. Nevermind that he has been telling me that the last woman he was with was over a year ago. Anyhow, it may sound like I am pitting him but really I am the most mad at myself for lowering my guard and my walls to allow for this kind of person to even have access to make me feel this way. I don’t know I am just very disappointed in myself for ignoring those alarm bells that went off in my head at the very start with him. I need to trust myself more.
And because this is the pit FUCK HIM AND FUCK MYSELF
luluBahrain, believe me on this–you’re not to blame for the fact that this guy is a lying bastard.
The funny thing about trust is that it has to start somewhere. It rarely begins, in my experience, with actual proof of trustworthiness. It continues with proof, or should, at least. Giving it freely in the beginning is often the right thing to do.
Does this mean you get burned sometimes? Sure it does. People suck. the only real question is whether or not you’re comfortable withdrawing your trust when it’s shown to be misplaced. But blaming yourself for his actions is pointless.
So, if I may, I’d like people to join me in saying (because this is the pit): FUCK HIM.
Right. I think my problem is that I put these walls up on the outside but on the inside I want to trust everyone and believe that people are for the most part good.
I don’t think i am really blaming myself for his actions. I am just blaming myself for being trusting and stupid yet again.
I agree with 'wolf. Distrusting everyone because you have been hurt in the past causes nothing to happen in the future. You were nowhere near as wrong for trusting him as he was for betraying you.
It’s hard to have faith in things which we cannot now see, but the next one will be better.
He called me back this evening saying he still “loves” me. I don’t even know what to say to him. I had just told him like 2 days before this all came out that I had opened my heart to him and loved him so I am thinking he’s just exploiting that week spot. I don’t know. It’s just i was so optimistic, thinking,“oh, he’s maybe the one” and then all this and I know i am whing but everyone’s allowed to whine once in a while.
Plus I just feel like my 20’s are slipping away from me and I always wanted to be attached and settling down by now. I just bought a house and I am getting my stuff together, i just can’t seem to find “that guy”. Sorry, I’m just having a tiny pity party. I will get over it soon.
20s!!! you’re in your 20s?? Jeez, what’s the hurry??? I have to tell you something…Marriage is a VERY DIFFICULT arrangement for even the strongest, most understanding, patient, intelligent, mature, common sense endowed individual. It requires all sorts of emotional resources to come into play that we never anticipate the need for…let me tell you…you will be challenged, and that’s WITHOUT the added stresses and trials of having children. Don’t be in such a hurry, please!
And, please, not with this one. He is immature and selfish. Two things that will destroy a marriage within months!!! Jeeeezzzz!!!
Yes, I am 25. I really don’t know what my hurry is, I just feel ready. But maybe this happened so I know I am really not.
Yes, and you are right, he’s definitely not the one for me, Be ready to be even more flabbergasted. He’s 40! And like you said still immature and selfish.