Your best friend is getting married, and you are the best man/maid of honor, as your gender dictates. Two days before the wedding, you’re out making your final preparations for the bachelor(ette) party when you stumble into a hole in the space-time continuum that takes you a century into the future.
In the future, you discover that Morlocks have overrun the Earth, ruled with an iron fist by Ann Coulter, whom all humans in the future are required to have sex with once, or be fed alive to the talking apes. Or something like that. Anyway, it’s awful. You have the requisite time-travel adventure while you look for a way home, and, in the process, you discover that chain of events that led to the establishment of CoulterWorld was your friend’s marriage. If this wedding goes through, the world is doomed.
You return to your own time period with no evidence of your journey, save perhaps Coulter’s teethmarks on an embarrassing part of your anatomy. Obviously you can’t convince anyone of the veracity of your story; there’s no point in even trying. The only way you can save the Earth from this horrible fate, you realize, is to make sure the bachelor or bachelorette party is so awful that your friend’s fiancee calls the whole damn thing off.
Invite every ex-girlfriend/boyfriend along, especially those with whom the condemned doesn’t have pure venom. Apply liberal amounts of alcohol to all involved. Start playing Truth Or Dare, Sex Dice, or “hey, how about the exes give the condemned a lapdance/Seven Minutes In Heaven/handjob?” Videotape the bride-/groom-to-be being not entirely over his ex-lovers. Show said video at the rehearsal dinner.
Get the groom drunk, then kidnap him to any of the more disreputable travel destinations. Keep him coked up and with hookers for a week so he misses the scheduled wedding. Set up a web site with lots and lots of photos, then send him home.
As a kid, I always was absolutely fascinated by the supernatural, and I read tons of books about ghosts, UFOs, etc. I’m a pretty rational person so realizing that most of that stuff is bunk was pretty disappointing. What I’m looking for is examples of things that seem pretty ‘out there’ but are actually within the realm of possibility.
Example: I always thought lucid dreaming was a pretty crazy fringe thing, and I thought it was pretty cool to find out that it’s fairly commonly attested to and somewhat rationally explainable (i.e., maybe scientists don’t exactly know why it happens, but it works within our scientific notions of the world and doesn’t fall into “you just have to believe” territory").
Things that empirically happen but are attributed to irrational causes can be put in this thread too. For example, if millions of people are waking up with scars on their leg and are convinced it was the Giant Pink Toothy Icelandic Rabbit, clearly that explanation (probably) cannot be true but the fact that the phenomenon actually occurred interests me.
Frank, apart from one letter from a fellow poster, there’s nothing SMDB related there. I did go on a slash & burn in that account this morning, so maybe I deleted by accident. REsend it, if you would.
Hock everything you own, have ever owned, and will ever own.
Then head to Reno. Bring a video camera with a live web hookup. Surreptitiously send the wife-to-be the address. Rent a suite. Rent a lady. Buy one good bottle of tequila and several cheap bottles (because after the good one, he won’t know the difference). Film. Charge $3.95/day for everyone but the wife-to-be. Buy better stuff from proceeds. Rest well in the knowledge that you just saved the world and profitted from it.
I’d never have been able to pull it off, as I would be giving some ape indigestion.
Hire a woman to show up at the bride’s shower with a baby in arms and have her ask the bride where the groom is, because he’s six months behind in child support.
Hire two others to show up five minutes later. One should ask the bride to take care of the baby for awhile while she goes out to turn tricks.
