Planning this War, dammit!

Ok people, come on. Let’s pull out our PDA’s, Dayplanners and calendars and get a definitive date down for this war. I was originally given a February date sometime in January and obviously that’s not happening. GEORGE BUSH I’M LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION.

Can we get this thing over with if only to clear up the boards for a while?

OK. :: flipping through calendar:: March 3rd is no good for me, gynecologist appointment, and I’m going out of town for Easter, Maybe Memorial day.

How’s March…

18th. March 18th? Good for you?

:: pencil poised::

Ummm, I gotta be in court on the 18th for a hearing. It’ll probably take all day.

How’s the 20th sound?

Nope. 20th is out. Improv rehearsal. What about the 17th?

Well, the 14th is my birthday. I like to free up my schedule for that, so a war would be a huge hassle.

17th I’m available between 1 and 4 p.m.

Is lunch provided? If so, I can be there by 12:30.

Oh yeah. Can anybody give me a ride? I’ll pay half the gas.

I want the war either over before March 21, or starting after March 29. Between those dates, I’m in the US. I don’t think I’ve actually been in a country that was at war at the time, leaving aside minor border disputes and the like. :eek:

Look, I’m still not convinced that the war should be about Iraq. Shouldn’t we step back? I mean, there’s bombs going off outside embassies in Caracas, and those Canadians have been uppity lately, anyway.

And we did Iraq before. I’m not in a Middle-Eastern mood. How about Thai? Anyone up for Thai?

mmm no. Thai makes me farty. Look, I’ve got all the stuff for an Iraq war.

THE EFFIGIES ARE MADE. I can’t unmake them, lno.

What about March 19th-22nd?

Sorry, the 17th is St. Patrick’s Day, I’ll be too drunk to be any good for a war.

My 21st is good, but Saturn will be ascending so it may not be the best time for confrontation.

Lord help us if it’s coverage preempts 24.

Can we postpone this a bit longer? I hate to be a wet blanket, but I’m starting a new job next week and I’d like to get settled in a little bit before the bombing, and the dying, and protesting, and the glavin. Plus, I’m really anxious to go to closing on the house first - let me get a few things off the deck first before we go starting a war, OK? The, I promise, I’ll try and make it. Really.

Tell you what, I’ll have my new girl call your girl as soon as I can get a free minute. Really. I swear.

Good god plnnr. Could you have given us just a bit more notice? I have the six foot subs ON ORDER for a March delivery.

What if we did March 27th…late in the day?

Plus I need to hoard oil, water, peanut butter and chestnuts so I can sell them for profit once the fighting starts. Can you give me an extra week?

:: tearing pages from calendar, shaking head::

I say we just start without him.

If this war’s really important to lieu, he’ll be there. If he’s not there, we’ll just have to find a substitute ally.

Come on, people. How often do I ask for some extra time when we’re preparing for war? Hmm? How often? Not very. All I’m saying is that now just isn’t a really good time for me. That’s all I’m saying. If you folks want to go off and do this thing without me, fine. Go ahead. I try to be accomodating to everyone else around here and the first time I a little bit of a conflict with someone else’s plans it becomes “Well, shit, plnnr, why didn’t you tell us before. It isn’t like we haven’t known about this war thing for, like, what? forever?” So you all go. Just do it without me. Fucking ingrates. No, I mean it. You all go ahead. Just don’t ask me to change my plans next time something like this comes up.

April 6th? It’s daylight savings time so a lot of us could get a jump start and let the rest of you catch up.

Is there a manual on selling avacados short?

hmmm April 6th looks good. PLNNR IS THAT GOOD FOR YOU OR DO YOU HAVE A PAP SMEAR THAT DAY? Can we put you in charge of the WHINE?

Can we avoid Thursdays? That recycle day. War and recycle day just don’t work well together for me.