So, I don’t know where else to turn. There’s an abundance of intelligence at the SDMB so maybe I’ll give this a shot. Here’s my story:
I lived with K for a year at college until last August. We got along ok, had our ups and downs, and our friendship, while somewhat close, was never really spectacularly so. I had always found her attractive, but was never really attracted to her. Well, maybe on some level I was, but I know I never developed romantic feelings for her during this time. She was dating someone for as long as we lived together, and broke up and got back together with him a few times along the way. She was, and still is in love with him.
Fast forward to December 2001. K and I haven’t been talking due to the fact that I dicked her over back in September. She IMs me one night in December, and our friendship is rekindled. Some weeks go by, we see each other a few times here and there, and things between us are happy and back to normal.
Early February - a bunch of us go to a local bar to celebrate our friend’s birthday. K and I dance a bit, flirt some… nothing out of the ordinary. She’s an affectionate person, and always has been so with me. Nothing out of the ordinary here, except for me beginning to think, “what if?(we were together)”
Early March - K’s birthday celebration. The usual dancing and subtle flirting between her and I. One very suggestive comment “You know I could like you, it’s just that you’re such a slob.” Ok the slob thing could be easily changed in my life. I’m rather adaptable when it comes to pleasing someone I’m interested in. Whoa! did I just say interested in K? Yes, that was when I first felt those warm and fuzzy feelings of romance for her. It was pretty shocking to me. But I rather like the idea of being with her. She’s absolutely beautiful, the kindest person I’ve ever met, affectionate, generous, funny, always thinks about others before herself… She’s just…damn… everything I look for in a woman. She’s very charming and doesn’t know it. I love that about her. Even when she used to make fun of me when we lived together I found it charming (most of the time). Which is probably why her teasing didn’t bother me. …Anyway, sorry for the tangent, I’ll continue.
One week later - We’re at a local bar. Me, K, K’s friend J. Things start to heat up. We’re downing some beverages. Without using exact words, K reveals that she has feelings for me, or at least she has thought about dating me. She seems curious about it enough to give it a shot. We are a little more affectionate this night than we usually are… like some hand-holding with a little caressing thrown in, and some head leaning on my shoulder. I want to kiss her! But, she is still not over her ex-boyfriend, she tells me (damn those exes!! :mad: ). Her feelings for him are holding her back. Alas, I am still kicking myself to this day for not kissing her that night.
Fast forward another week - We hadn’t talked about our encounter at the bar from a week earlier, just sort of swept it under the rug. I meet her for dinner so we can discuss this. I tell her I have feelings for her. She tells me that sometimes she sees us happily together, and other times she thinks we are better off staying close friends. She basically tells me that she’d consider being with me, but that she couldn’t right now because she is still in love with her ex. damn exes!!:mad: