Pokemon is from Satan!

This is my first time to start a thread in the Pit, so bear with me. I thought about where this should go. IMHO seemed the logical choice, but I figured it might get a little heated so I started it here.

Every day I pass this place called “The Association for Lost Children” or something like that. At first glance, it seems to be a resource for parents whose children are missing. I do believe that is what it is, but they have one of those changeable letter signs out front with varying messages. I have seen such signs as “Pokemon (sp?) is from Satan!”, “Being gay is a sin. Sinners burn in Hell!”, and something about the Easter Bunny being evil.

Where do these people get off? Yeah, yeah, free speech and all. But damn, I find this shit offensive. I can’t even remember half of the stuff, it’s so laughable. It’s all just super-heated crap. And how can they even believe it? The Easter Bunny is evil? Give me a break!

I have no idea what religion these people are, but it scares me to think that some normal couple who have lost their child would get involved with these people at such a vulnerable time in their lives.

What do y’all think?

some people are just silly that way. They get their jollies by downgrading others

evil bunnies from Easter??? hhhmmmm, ask them why they named one of their bigest holidays after a pagan Goddess?

Pokemon can’t be the spawn of Satan. Hell, even Satan couldn’t be that malicious.

I think you’ve found the physical seat of Landover Baptist!

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1099/pokemon.html

Also,

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0400/kinder.html

I had nothing to do with it!

However, it reminded me of an ancient thread…

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=13902


Yer pal,
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, two days, 15 hours, 46 minutes and 34 seconds.
7426 cigarettes not smoked, saving $928.28.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 4 days, 18 hours, 50 minutes.

Please tell me this is satire?! Oh. My. God. These people are definitely sick and twisted.

Look at this!

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0400/kinder.html

Crying turns little boys into homosexuals?!

God save us from these “saved” “Christians”. Coming to a neighborhood near you!

Oh good lord people… Landover is satire. They’re making fun of Christians. It’s ok, you don’t have to run for cover.

Hee hee… loved the Landover Baptist site. It’s obviously a joke, but a highly entertaining one. I like the banner add on their home page: “Jesus Says: Vote for Bush!” And according to Betty Bowers, Christian advice columnist, God’s farts smell like potpourri. Glory be!

Dang it… that’s banner “ad”, not “add”. I used preview, too.

THIS website, however, is not. Read it at your own risk. At your own risk of falling out of your chair laughing at these poor, ignorant fools. They make Jack Chick look rational. According to them, not only is Pokemon evil, but so is Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons and Teletubbies. They wrote a LONG article about how they believe the UN* is using Teletubbies to indoctrinate children into following pagan gods. (Did you know the Tubs’ antennae were derived from pagan symbology? Scroll halfway down for an illustrated dissection of Tubby symbology. You WILL laugh. They even repeat Falwell’s lying assertion that one of the Tubbies is gay.)

*They don’t like the UN or President Clinton very much, either.

Another non-satirical website (in the same vein as Landover Baptist but unintentionally funny) is Paw Creek Ministries- if you follow the link you’ll see that they expose the evil that is Pokemon. They also show Harry Potter to be the hell-bent, drug-pushing, antichrist that he is.

I guess you have to crank the hyperbole up a notch to compete with football on Sundays.

Hmm- I hadn’t seen Jab1’s post before I typed mine. There’s got to be a connection between the two groups as I can’t imagine two separate ministries coming up with these farfetched theories independent of each other. And they cover all the same topics.

Thank you, thank you! Whew! There may be hope for mankind yet.

I’m sorry, but this is the funniest article they have ever written. And anyone who disagrees with me can go burn in the lake of fire.

Innocent Kids Use Jar Jar Dolls as Masturbation Tools

Just for the record…

I like Pokemon. Pikachu is cute as hell. I wish I had a Pikachu.

That’s it.

yoouuu…have…gargantuan…penis.
our…penis…verysmall

Oh, God, I remember them. I used to live in Charlotte. You gotta love this quote, though:

Obviously, no True Christian practices martial arts. Well, except for that jiu-jitsu armlock Jesus put on Pilate.