Possibly dangerous roommate insanity

I have a new roommate. But turns out he’s full bore wacko. We grill outside often. I make the marinade. He’s had stomach issues soon after the last couple times, but not any of the previous several times. When he first moved in he asked me about the plants i had outside. I pointed out that one of them, Ricinus, was poisonous. So he’s become convinced that I’m poisoning him. Relevant facts:
–He also believes that demons walk the earth and can take any form
–Yes he believes in lizard people
–He’s an MMA fighter with a knife collection
–He’s been telling other people that I’m poisoning him

Ok so what can I do?

Maybe start by calling Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness . It sounds like schizophrenia, which isn’t a good thing. Even if I’m wrong, advice from a professional is essential and that’s a good place to start.

Don’t call where you might be overheard by him.

Move. As soon as possible.

Forfeit your deposits, abandon furniture and appliances, and go.

Otherwise you will be blamed for something, and it could cost a LOT of money to a lawyer to get it untangled.

~VOW

Once again, I am not a mental health professional, nor a self defense professional for the record, and @Dr.Drake makes a good suggestion to involve them.

@VOW is very possibly correct that getting out and away is the best answer, but for many people it isn’t financially viable, and I don’t know your options, so that is best for your to evaluate, but it’s almost certainly the lowest risk of harm to you.

Having said all that, get other people involved. If he’s attempting to convince others that you’re trying to poison them (which seems likely to rebound on his believability, because, well, duh), you need to make sure your mutual contacts are in the know of his issues.

Second, break away as much as possible from interactions. If you can, do it in a positive manner - say you respect his concerns, and as to minimize them, you’re going to keep your distance, and let him manage his own food away from your interference, as much as possible in shared living situation. Absolutely work to get out of that location and away from them as quickly as possible (again as life and finances allow), but reduce the contact and possible points of conflict as much as possible in the meantime.

To add additional protection from spurious claims, I’d suggest setting up an unobtrusive home security / web / spy cam. If you don’t have the cash to buy one, you can possibly repurpose an old cell phone in you have an older spare lying around.

If your property allows it, I would also strongly consider adding a screw on security latch as a cheap protective option for your own room, if you have a private bedroom. Something as simple as an $8 stamped steel option won’t stop them, but might buy you some time to get out a window or get help.

Lastly, you mention a large knife collection. If he carries any of them around, rather than just admire them in the residence, there are jurisdictions that make that a crime, which can be actionable. Here’s a link to each state where you can consult said laws.

On a similar note, if you are all renting a property, many (by no means all) prohibit the possession of weapons, often including non-kitchen knives on the property. It, like the link above, is a longshot, but check your formal rental agreement if any, as another way to involve other vested parties in shooing this individual out of your life ASAP.

But in all honestly, if he believes you’re trying to poison him, I do agree he’s far to unstable to expect any subtle or common sense options to work as more than the most mild deterrent. If you can’t leave, and they start threatening you, get the hell out even if you have to couch surf for a day or so, and call the local law enforcement about your concerns. If your webcam / security cam recorded it, all the better.

One of you needs to move, ASAP, before he tries to evict you from the planet. He does NOT sound safe to live with.

Who holds the lease?

Are you?

Assuming you are not, what happens if he poisons himself? He’s telling people he suspects you are poisoning him, if he dies and postmortem examination shows the cause of death to be poison….

Go.
Go NOW!
Get friends to come back with you to get your stuff.
Several.
I do not want you to feature in a CNN segment, my friend.

Does he have a criminal record?

Yep, we need more information on your situation before we can discuss your (legal) options. Do you own the property and he’s a tenant? Are you both lessors from a third party? What are the terms of his lease – is he annual, month-to-month, etc. Location would also help.

That’s not the problem, it’s that his roommate will kill him in his sleep in “self-defense”.

The guy may indeed be dangerously mentally unhealthy. Or he may simply be one of the untold millions of Americans who have succumbed to a propaganda-for-profit machine. Albeit he sounds like he’s bought more than the average amount of that BS.

Most of those people stew in relative silence except to spout the received platitudes to their like-minded friends. Some of them make loud noises and grand plans aimed at a wider audience but don’t / won’t act on them. And a tiny, tiny fraction of them act out their deluded fantasies. It’s just that with tens of millions of people on that conspiracy+paranoia spectrum, somebody somewhere is going snap nearly every day. Which leads to the constant drumbeat of news stories we see.

The hardest thing for the OP at this point is admitting there are no good options. There are merely a variety of sucky options which vary a bit in how, and how much, they suck. Either decide the guy is an idiot who’ll try your patience daily, but is ultimately no actual threat to you, or get away from him.

All the details about how and how fast to get away come after the first decision: whether to get away or not.

First I’d stop marinating his meat. Share a hot grill sure but cook your own stuff.

Maybe he’s nibbling on your castor bean plant, either trash the plant or find a foster home for it until it’s safe to return.

Sounds stressful, good luck!

Hie yourself down to the police station and begin a paper trail. At the very least, the cops might be interested in who has a funky knife collection.

Wouldn’t the Wackoid Roommate want to move out to get away from someone who he thinks is poisoning him?

Telling him you’ll help him find a new place and share moving costs sounds like an acceptable solution except you’re not dealing with a rational person.

Yeah, and ix-nay on the arinade-may.

*incidentally, castor bean seeds are the really toxic part of the plant, and even then generally need to be ground up or chewed to cause real trouble. Nibbling on leaves is more likely to give you only an upset stomach.
**and do not make jokes about hemlock and deadly nightshade salad with pokeweed garnish.

If you don’t get the hell out of Dodge…

How attached are you to this plant? Do you think it would make a difference if you ditched the plant?

How about if you let him make the marinade? Are you concerned that he will poison you? How about just letting him make his own marinade, or cooking separately? How attached are you to making food for him?

~Max

The thing is, with people like this (whether just a jerk or truly delusional), it’s not about the plant. Get rid of the plant and the goalposts will move.

I had a bipolar roommate in college, who was a good friend I cared deeply about. I will always remember an email I got from an out-of-town friend:

/move out/

I agree with the posters above that whatever the costs in the short term (loss of deposit, loss of furniture), it would be less than the cost of staying. It’s only if you’re the owner of the property that this gets sticky.

Who vetted this roommate?

First in a long line of unanswered questions…

Even if the OP is the leaseholder, there are legal means that would keep the roommate where he is, legally. The law considers the fact that he has lived there for a time, and that is now his home. To remove him from the residence involves legal means, maybe even an attorney with court appearances, and money. And it is a process that takes TIME.

Leave. Sleeping in a culvert would be more secure than staying with this roommate.

~VOW

If we don’t hear from the OP by tomorrow, we are going to worry… :anguished: