“One size fits all.” Like Hell it does!
Goddam lack of willpower and abundance of depression.
I pit myself because I need constant reassurance that people don’t hate me, and when I like someone and I can’t tell if they like me back (in a platonic way), I get depressed and assume they hate me;
also I’ve already posted too much to this thread.
When I’m wearing a long sleeve shirt and I push up the sleeves, and when I push the sleeves back down the wrist holes have expanded making my shirt look stupid and it won’t go back to normal until I wash it.
Prefabricated food sucks, and I pit people who serve it to unsuspecting guests or at potlucks without warning – if it came out of a box, it’s not fresh food!
‘Customer Service’ lines that make you enter your name, account number, date of birth, and a thousand other factoids using an arcane proprietary method of doing the letters…and then after fifteen minutes of punching in all the crap, blithely announce that the “data base is not available, try again later.”
Aaaaarrrrrrrrghhhh!
I pit myself for being a stupid obsessive girl with a stupid crush on a stupid boy who could like me or could not like but I’m probably stupidly driving him away.
While on vacation: hotter weather that I don’t like, no air conditioning that I would like, and a summer cold that really sucks.
I pit myself for not getting over the crush on my coworker before the time came to wish him luck on the vacation during which he plans to propose to his girlfriend…
I pit MTV for not releasing the entire run of Daria on DVD, so now I have to watch Noggin for highly edited episodes for my Daria fix.
How dare you assume I’m talking about your god?
Fuck my vehicle’s bad fuel pump which left me stranded without transportation for a week!
[dirty old man]There there, my dear, let ole Geezer Daddy take away the pain.[/dirty old man] 
I pit the dirt road I live on, the jerks who race down it every day at 60 mph creating “washboard road,” this hellishly hot desert, and life in general lately.
and I pit people who think ‘Go’ is a deity.
With my last breath, I spit at thee.
I pit myself for being a lazy asshole who stays up too late reading this fucking board.
I pit my cat for whining in my ear that she’s hungry, but then doesn’t necessarily eat when I get her food.
I pit the fact that “to pit” has become a verb.
I pit the fact that I’m a lazy asshole who now uses the false verb “to pit”.
I pit my dickhead neighbor with the monster truck who randomly takes up two spots in front of my house.
I pit Sony for making PS2s able to stand vertically, but not really able to last as long in that position.
I pit my TiVo for not having an easy way, if any even exists, to see how much capacity I have left.
Visits to the dentist are supposed to cure toothache, not promote it, augh, sigh.
Modems are evil, evil little machines whose only purpose is to make me THINK I can surf the web when in reality I have to wait until I go back to school to have permanent internet acess again.
I pit Monday mornings.