Preteens say the darndest things

(my 10-year-old brother, playing with my hair scrunchies, puts about 50 on his ring finger): LOOK EVERYBODY I’M J LO!!

Bwaaahaa! Awesome. She’s quickly becoming the Liz Taylor of our time. (as far as marriages go, not talent)

at least she never gave herself a nickname like L Tay…

My 11 yo asked me today, “What’s an orgasm?”

There was a terrible moment of silence. I’m cool about discussing sex, I just didn’t know how to succinctly define the term. I finally said, “When you’re having sex, it’s how you know you’re done.”

He apparently didn’t know the word had anything to do with sex, and promptly became very pink about the ears.

Shoulda told him it’s an organism with no ni. :smiley:

The Knights are going to be mighty disappointed…

Beat me to it, aasna. Dang.


My almost 11 yo got me in the car the other day for a real sex ed conversation. He knew theoretically, but was still sorta hazy on the how part, I guess. So, we start with “Mom, when two women are married, how do they know which one will be the mommy?” and zoom through artificial insemination right thru how hetero couples make babies and then he stops me cold with the “But, HOW does the sperm and the egg get together?”
Given that he gets all freaked out if I answer too directly, I’d been treading on eggshells so far. If I cross some invisible line and he realizes mom’s talking about penii, he’ll stop listening and not learn anything, and Og forbid I laugh, of course.
So, I blithely talk about outies and innies and how they fit together, referencing little boy erections and how adult men have larger ones that are perfect for fitting into adult women, no big deal, keeping it casual…

“YOU had SEX with my FATHER?!?!” Yep, I’m calm, I’m collected, still driving down the road with a straight face, I can handle this, yes, dear we did, that’s one of the things grownups do, etc.

My dear child has a 1 year old cousin, his next question was “Aunt R and Uncle M have SEX?” Yes, honey, birds do it, bees do it, it’s as natural as breathing, etc. “But…but…He’s British, Mom!”

Yeah, that’s when my restraint failed me utterly and I had to pull off onto the shoulder to laugh hysterically.

Knights? Kghts? I don’t get it.

What have you been teaching your kids? :smiley:

I don’t know, but I’ll bet he knows about the Knights who say ni


Monty Python??? You surely know of the Knights that say “Ni”?! Where were you educated? [sub]no Monty Python… oh my[/sub]

[Dracula Dead and Loving It]
“But…but…I’m British!”
“Sooo are THEESE!”

When did those not yet teenagers start being called preeteens? Political correctness run amuck!

Let’em have fun. They’re children!

I have no idea where he got that, aryk. He was blustering about good manners and stuff but then stopped when I was laughing so hard it was obvious he’d went a bit awry with his righteous indignation bit.

Poor kid got all flustered when I asked him where all the other British folks came from if their parents were “too polite” to have sex. :smiley:

*Originally posted by aryk29 *
**Knights? Kghts? I don’t get it.


c’mon, even my brother knows that one…

Not at all It’s just that “pre-teen” has more of a ring to it than “adolescent”, plus it’s easier to spell.

A couple of months ago, my 12-year-old daughter was watching a show on cable called DeGrassi. Kinda a soap-opera for teens, about a high school. She came into the living room, looked at her father and I and said “What’s a woody?” We gave her a factual, carefully phrased answer after we stopped laughing.

notice what letters are missing in “Kghts” :-p

I must protest!

Uh… an adolescent IS a teen.