Problems with stepdad & porn

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay so my stepdad is a pervert, that I can live with considering the lack of choice I have. It bugs me, but whenever my mother isnt home, he’d be looking at hardcore porn on his laptop. Its bad enough knowing that my stepdad watches movies of fat people boinking amongst other deviances, but get this…

Today my mom called me and said something arrived in the mail for my stepdad. She found out it was a lens for his camcorder. The package was marked as being from Thailand from a Comtex Co. and after some research, I couldn’t figure out what it was he ordered. Since my mom was dying of curiosity, and knowing his type of behavior, she surmised he ordered one of those special lenses that you can film people with, and the resulting video shows whats under their clothing.

Whats pretty bad about all this is that my stepdad often uses his camcorder for family functions and whatnot. So I’ve gotten worried and at this point I have no idea what to do about this. I can’t confirm if these lenses ARE the ones that we suspect they are, and thus confronting him about it is not an option since he’d likely feign ignorance about it.

So here I am making a pathetic post about it on SDMB hoping you guys might have a clue. I was thinking that if I could figure out how to use it, I’ll confirm it for myself and then contact the police. But I dont know if thats a harsh decision or not. In either case, I’m going to be sick every time he’s recording family gatherings not knowing if he’s going to be looking at my dick afterwards or at some of our younger relatives.

Ugh, help me guys. I don’t want to have to wear a double jockstrap each time the camera comes out :frowning:

2

I’m not an expert with optics, but a quick search on USENT with Google turned up this thread, which says the lens’ peek-a-boo ability is largely overrated ad hype.

To quote from one respondent,

Besides, if X-ray lenses were really this effective, wouldn’t law enforcement be using them everywhere to screen folks for concealed weapons, instead of those metal detectors?

3

I know of no ‘special lens’ to see under clothing, although I am willing to be corrected.

Sony (or someone) came out with a camcorder with a night-vision infra-red system that could be used that way, but it was a pretty elaborate part of the camera’s circuitry. Nothing a mere lens could do.

(I would point out that the package could be some sort of pinhole camera lens.)

As for your step-dad, he sounds creepy to me. Still, poking around his mail is also creepy. Lots of ‘good people’ enjoy porn. Give him the benefit of the doubt until he is no longer worthy of it.

4

I would slide a piece of paper under my clothing that read “You belong in jail, you filthy pervert!” and be sure to get in front of the camera at the first family function.

Basically, you’re telling him, “I know what you’re doing” without having to face him. It’s like when you find your kid’s porn collection. Just remove it. What’s the kid gonna do? “Mom, where did my stack of ‘Juggs’ magazines go?”.

5

I’ve never heard of such a device, except maybe for Superman’s X-ray vision. I think there would have been more information about such a lens if one did, in fact exist. Sounds like a falsehood to me, but I’m NOT the world’s greatest tekkie.

6

WTF are you and your mom doing sneaking around behind his back? Provided he’s not spending your money or buying something illegal, his purchases are absolutely, positively NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. If your mother has questions about what her husband is spending their money on, she needs to address that issue with him, not you. If she can’t or won’t believe his answers, there are some serious problems in her marriage, and she needs to consider getting the hell out of Dodge.

As for your police theory, you’ve got to be kidding me. You’re proposing to go through this man’s personal property without his permission, and then call the police to report…what? That he might potentially be thinking about someday commiting a crime? That there’s clearly a crime in the works because a grown man likes to watch porn? Yeah, they’d send a SWAT team right out for that one.

Why are you so willing to assume that this man is a criminal, anyway? Because he watches porn? Most men do, to some extent. Because he likes to watch fat people sex? Hell, I like to take part in fat people sex on a regular basis, so I must be the next Jeffrey Dahmer. So far, you’d have to show me a lot more damning evidence for me to think he’s creepy or dangerous in any way.

7

I agree with CrazyCatLady. He’s into porn, and that doesn’t make him a pervert. Now, if you’ve been having problems with him hitting on you or “accidentally” walking in on you when you’re changing or whatever, that’s a different story. Your mother is aware of his sexual tastes, and at this point is accepting them. If she doesn’t like it, she will either have to discuss it with him or leave him.

If he IS getting out of line with you, you need to share that with your mom and figure out a way to remove yourself from the situation.

And, by the way, there are magazines and clubs devoted to “chubby chasers”. This isn’t considered weird at all.

8

I don’t understand how your mom surmised it’s an xray naked cam. But if you really believe it then you should just always yell out at family functions “I can’t wait to see this tape!” Then bug him to let you watch it now now now. Just harp on it and if he says no keep bugging him and pestering him until he runs out of excuses to not let you see it.

But honestly, I think that if your mom really surmised that it’s an xray lens she should confront him. Just because you think someone will lie to you doesn’t mean the solution is to be dishonest too. That’s how you wind up in a house of lies where everyone knows the truth and won’t say it out loud. Then time goes by and everyone goes nuts because none of the words spoken match up with reality. I would be blunt about it.

9

I think it’s awful that your mom has gotten you caught up in her relationship with her husband. Not only should she be the one who talks to him (if she has a problem with what he’s doing), but you should tell her to leave you out of it from now on. Then, MYOB.

10

I kind of agree with the privacy advocates on this thread. Unless he’s being totally creepy around you, you have nothing to complain about. Nevertheless, maybe you could tell us the brand and model number of the camera lens and we could determine the use of it.

Haj

11

…and there’s your grey area.

I think raizok has a valid concern if he feels his privacy is at risk, or if he feels the device will capture images of naked children (inadvertent or deliberately). How old are you, raizok? I think if he’s under 18 there is a serious cause for concern that the SF is exposing a minor in his care to adult material. -There’s your crime.

raizok clearly says in the first line of his post,

Sounds to me like the fact the SF likes porn isn’t the issue, and you are the one confusing it.

12

Well, I think a discreet eye should be kept on SF. He seems to be doing things that make at least two people in the family uncomfortable.

While I agree that people should have thier privacy and we should not generally pry into others private business (especially about sexual issues), when ones sexual interest starts to affect other family members in a negative way, attention should be paid to that.

Cartainly, if he bought that lens (which probably doesn’t really work), you just need to wait until he adds it to the camera to examine it more closely, or perhaps even experiment with it yourself to see if it is something worth worrying about. Then you will have a better idea of what exactly is going on.

Finally, I am not a porn fan and would be uncomfortable living with one. I think sometimes people can develop unhealthy sexual appetites and interests, and the easy access to porn (of so many types) on the www can be detrimental to some.

13

DD, is it illegal to own one of those lenses? Why, no, near as I can tell, it’s not. There are some uses of it that are illegal, but that’s true for guns, kitchen knives, hammers, and damn near everything else. Unless someone is buying something that it is illegal to possess, like drugs or kiddie porn or in some states ferrets, their purchases are absolutely none of your concern.

The OP’s concerns follow a chain: SF watches porn flicks with fat people, therefore SF is a creepy pervert. Because SF is a creepy pervert, the new lens for the camcorder is probably one of those peekaboo lenses. Because SF is a creepy pervert who has bought one of those peekaboo lenses, he’s probably planning to do something illegal and gross, like look at videos of kiddies.

Unfortunately, there’s no real, compelling evidence that SF is, in fact, a creep or a pervert. There’s just the fact that, like untold numbers of men, he watches porn with fat people. There’s also absolutely no evidence whatsoever that this is the type of lens the OP thinks it is. Even if it was, there is absolutely no evidence that SF intends to use it for any nefarious purposes. There’s just the OP assumptions, based on the fairly flawed premise that SF is a creepy pervert.

When there’s some actual evidence that someone intends to use something for an illegal purpose, that’s the time to get all worked up. Till then, other people’s possession of legal items are none of your business.

14

I’m w/ Paul on the lense. The infrared spectrum is heat; an infrared camra will “see” heat and create a visible light that we can see. I simply cannot believe that this lense can do this–this is is a serious electronic process, not the bending of light waves as a lense would do.

Night vision, as we commonly think of it, is the gathering of more visible light than the eye can, thus making the picture brighter. There is no reason why that would allow you to see through clothes. Well, none that I know of.

I recommend starting a GQ thread on this to get a better picture from someone better educated than me.

Okay, the pervert part. Are you familiar w/ Venn diagrams? Go here. Okay. The green circle represents all the men who look at porn on the internet. The blue circle represents all the men who are perverts whom you should be afraid of. See how the green and blue circles overlap, but most of the green circle is not overlapping the blue. That means that lots of people look at porn on the internet, not many of them are pervs whom you should be afraid of. So if you see a guy looking at porn, you can only conclude that he is probably not a predatory perv.

Now consider the brown circle. This circle is the people who buy special lenses that are supposed to let them see through people’s clothes. Look at the overlap of the brown and the green circles; see how it creates a lense shape? Those are people who look at porn and buy special see through clothes lenses. This lense shape overlap also overlaps the blue circle, so that all three are overlapping. This little black triangle-ish area is the people who look at porn, buy see-through lenses, and are predatory pervs.

Okay. Here is what you have to notice. Before you found out that he bought the lense, the odds of him being a predatory perv were fairly low–the green-blue overlap as a proportion of the green circle. Now that you know that he is buying the lense, the odds of him being a predatory perv have gone up–the black triangle-ish area as a proportion of the green-brown overlap.

What does this mean? First off, the diagram I referred to is a joke, and in no way represents real data. Second, you don’t know what the lense really is, so you don’t know that he is actually trying to buy a tool to help him be a peeping tom. But here is the deal: The odds that you should worry given that he likes porn aren’t very high. The odds that you should worry given that you know that he likes porn AND has purchased a peeping-tom device are going to be higher. How much higher? I have no idea. But given your suspicion that this is a peeping-tom device and his enjoyment of porn, I would strongly advise that your mom have a talk with him.

Like I said, it is probably nothing. However, your mom is obliged to protect you, and you shouldn’t have to needlessly worry in your own house. Even if it means a little embarassment for her husband, I think that she should verify that you really are safe.

15

I wouldn’t be so worried that he may be a pervert, but more that he is such a sucker to buy a lense like that. I hope your Mom dosen’t want to be ritch any time in the future, since step-dad sounds like the sort of person who falls for any con in the book.

16

I’m certain these lenses are a complete scam. Doesn’t conform to any law of optics I know.

17

A lot of normal and healthy people enjoy porn. But if one’s enjoyment of porn is affecting the children in one’s household, to me, that takes it out of the realm of normal and healthy.

Exposing children to porn is one way sexual abusers open the door to other types of abuse. Normal and healthy adults show maturity and express their sexuality, whether it’s varied or vanilla, in private with other consenting adults.

That said, I am 99% sure there is no real, readily available x-ray lens that actually works. I think a General Questions thread, and/or googling the model number of the lens, would be a good approach to the factual question.

18

Just to clarify what this lens is (I’m a photography buff, not a pervert).

CCDs in camcorders are sensitive in the infra-red. Usually, the camera has an infra-red filter built in that blocks infrared so that you get true color. Sony camcorders have a feature called ‘Nightshot’, which removes the infrared filter so that you can take night-time shots. To enhance this capability, Sony camcorders with nightshot also have a built-in infrared emitter to illuminate the area.

Now, some forms of clothing are relatively transparent in infra-red wavelengths, but you still can’t see through them in the dark. But if you put a camcorder in ‘nightshot’ mode in bright daylight, some clothing does in fact become somewhat transparent.

When people discovered this, there was a general hue and cry about it. Sony immediately modified their camcorders so that when in ‘nightshot’ mode the light sensor is disabled so that if you use nightshot outdoors in the daytime the sensor will be saturated and all you’ll see is a white square.

That’s the scoop on the camcorder’s ability to see through clothing. What that filter is that you linked to is a filter that allows ONLY infra-red through it - such filters are typically used by photographers to produce images that are very unique, such as those on this page. Infrared images are very eery looking and have many unique qualities that make them a popular subject for amateur photographers.

It’s true that the combination of an infra-red filter and a camcorder or other CCD device modified to allow ‘nightshot’ in daylight will allow you to see through some things, including many types of clothing. But that’s not the ONLY use for it, and in fact I’m sure that the vast majority of people who own such lenses aren’t even aware of that particular application.

19

I’ve had some experience with porn addicts (yes, it can be an addiction, just like booze or tobacco), and I know the kind of psychological damage that can be inflicted on both the addict and the people around him/her.

The important issue here, it seems to me, is not “what kind of lens is he getting in the mail?” but “how seriously is he into porn?” Is he spending lots of money on it? Does he lie in order to excuse himself from social situations and go peruse porn?

I could be off-base, overreacting because of some people’s bullshit I’ve had to deal with recently. He could simply have a healthy sex drive and enjoy porn sometimes. I certainly hope that’s what’s going on. But, just in case, you might want to do some reading from Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous and see if anything rings a bell.

20

I disagree. Actual addictions are defined in medical terms as having measurable physical body reactions (“withdrawal symptoms”). I don’t know of any such medically defined, measurable symptoms for “porn addiction”.