Psycho stalker nut strikes again

The BBQ Pit
1

I think I posted about this once before, but there are updates.

My girlfriend teaches psych at a university. Fifteen years ago (remember that number) she had a student who was, shall we say, “troublesome.” “Paranoid schitzophrenic” might be another name for it. He was asked to leave the program. That served mainly to piss him off. He then had it in for two professors, one of which was my girlfriend.

I can’t recount all of the incidents that happened since, but there have been a number of threatening phone calls, letters, and e-mails.

Maybe 6 years ago SO had a strange door buzzer incident – When she asked who it was, the answer was something like “you’ll be sorry.” A little later, about 6 inches of gasoline were found flooding the vestibule of the building. Police never solved the crime. We have no idea if it was psycho stalker nut or someone else.

Maybe a year or more ago, he slipped a threatening note under her apartment door. That was pretty scary, as he had gotten into the building. He knows where she lives.

This past summer, SO got a call from the police. They had picked up a wallet (in a nearby neighborhood) belonging to psycho stalker nut. SO’s name and address were in it. The police called SO figuring she was a friend who would know where the wallet owner lived (so they could return it). She told them about who he was. I don’t know if they ever got his wallet back to him, but I know he wasn’t arrested.

All has been quiet since, until yesterday. He showed up at her office drunk and off his meds, and apparently wanting to hurt her. Fortunately, it was her day off, so she wasn’t in. The cops didn’t arrive in time to catch him.

So what the fuck? Remember the number I told you above? Fifteen fucking years! This fucker may not know how to hold on to his wallet, but he sure as hell knows how to hold on to a grudge. Psycho prick.

2

Psycho stalker nuts have no concept of time.

I hate to say it but even putting this nut away somewhere might not keep your girlfriend free of his harassment. A few years ago, one of my sisters was harrassed by this one nut from Ireland. Letters, packages, phone calls, that sort of thing. It got so bad that one of her neighbors - either a retired cop or a veteran, I’m not sure - volunteered to be on her doorstep with a loaded shotgun at a moment’s notice. She finally tracked down the nut; turns out that he’s a patient in some Irish pyshicatric hosptial.

3

Make sure your GF has some pepper spray or something. If you can pack heat in your state, I would look into that. I hope they catch the nut and she stays safe. I’ll be sending goodluck vibes her (and your) direction.

4

He probably has an address that can be traced, after all he is bound to be on the books of some institution, the US is the land of gun ownership, fifteen years is way too long to live in fear, and what about the next fifteen ?

5

Amateur. Come back when the grudge hits thirty years. (Billy Andersen. I still remember how you made fun of my lunchbox: Your time will come.)

Seriously, that can be pretty scary stuff. Has she spoken with a lawyer regarding a restraining order?

6

Sure enough.

I don’t think he can be put away in a mental hospital. His shrink would have done so already if that were the case. That leaves prison. Since he wouldn’t stay in forever, that means he’ll come out with an even bigger grudge. So prison is out. I know we’re not supposed to wish death on people in this forum, but so help me Og I’m wishing death on this guy. I don’t see any other way to stop the harassment. Otherwise, my girlfriend could be living with this fear for the rest of her life.

7

Not a lawyer, but the cops have offered one to her. But that’s a joke. It’s not like a magic force field that will keep him away. In fact, it will probably only encourage him. Nature of his illness and all that.

As far as getting a gun goes, she has considered it, but she hates and fears guns with a passion. She’d repeal the 2nd amendment if she could. Still, she may have to get over that.

As for pepper spray, she can be less than graceful at times. She’s as likely to spray herself as spray him.

And she rarely sees him face to face anyway. Had she been at work yesterday, that would have been an exception, of course.

8

I don’t know. The police have looked for him before, to no avail.

He has a shrink, but it’s possible the shrink doesn’t have his address – and if he does, there are matters of confidentiality to consider.

He has an e-mail address, so maybe he can be traced that way. But once again, why haven’t the police done so?

9

I don’t know how deserved it is but the police have a reputation for not being very enthusiatic about pursing possible psycho stalkers. Notice I said my sister tracked down her nut, not the police.

I’ve read about one case in DC where the woman knew her stalker but the Metropolitan Police did diddlysquat. IIRC, the stalker eventually turned himself in. The story is available here for $2.95.

10

No, but it is step one in keeping him away.

Step one: Get restraining order.
Step two: Psycho Nut Case violates it. An actual crime is committed
Step three: Profit^W PNC gets a court order to stay on his meds and possibly a social worker to help keep an eye on him.

11

It’s step two that she has a problem with. She’s afraid that getting the restraining order will just dare him to break it. It will give him a reason to go after her. Given the nature of his illness, restraining order=golden engraved invitation.

And don’t think he’ll be foolish enough to get caught. He has proven to be brilliant at staying just within the confines of the law (or creating no useable evidence trail).

12

He’s already going after her.

13

What Blackclaw said.

I think he’s already decided he has an engraved invitation. Her work’s security should be notified at the very least. He’s already shown up once, so her coworkers should be able to provide a description.

14

A thought that has crossed my mind as well. But it’s not my decision to make.

15

I think the importance of the restraining order is at the moment, if he’s in the same store, he could say it’s a “coincidence”. Once you have that order, he can get arrested, whereas right now, he can’t really get arrested.

16

Yep.

I just found the reason she didn’t want to take one out. One of her colleagues specializes in criminally insane alcoholics. Her advice was that a restraining order would only escalate the situation. Today she asked her again, and the answer was “Well, he’s now escalated it.” Tomorrow my girlfriend is going to court to get one.

The only problem is, don’t you have to notify the person the order is against? They have no way of doing that. They don’t know where he lives, and he may very well be homeless.

(I also asked about the threatening e-mails – those should be traceable, right? Wrong. They couldn’t be traced to anywhere. I wonder how he accomplished that.)

17

You got a couple of big, ugly looking friends that might be prevailed on to visit the psycho at o-dark-thirty some night? And deliver a message?

It might push his buttons more, I don’t know. But back when the earth was still cooling, I lived in Austin. My next door neighbor’s wife acquired a stalker who harassed her for months (this was long before stalking became fashionable). Finally, he was paid a late night visit which involved duct tape, a tire iron and a looonnnggg
trip out to the countryside where the message was delivered and he was left stark naked.

She never heard a squeak out of him after that, even though they saw each other more than once in passing.

18

IANAL, criminalist, or person who knows about lawtype stuff…

But, aren’t there anti-stalking laws (as in, no restraining order needed, if a person meets certain criteria which define stalking, then he can be arrested??), in all 50 states now?

At any rate, damn, I’m sorry to hear about your gf’s harrassment by this person.

19

I’d like to point out that most mentally ill folks are only a danger to themselves when off their medication. However, this guy seems to be one of those dangerous people who give the rest of us crazies a bad name. If you can prove he’s a threat to himself or others, you can have him involuntarily commited. If you can get her coworkers to testify, that might do it.

I agree with everybody who said to get a restraining order. I agree that it won’t keep him away, but it will get him arrested when shows up. Violation of a restraining order also helps create a paper trail establishing that he’s a threat to others.

Are stun guns legal where you live?

20

Look out, this could be encouraging illegal activity / violence…