No, no, Nurse Smith! I told you to *prick * his boil!
So they don’t whistle on the way down!
Kevin Federline, in the drawing room, with a candlestick.
And Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again…
Not with my cat, you won’t!
[QUOTE=Lumpy"Sometimes senior, the bull wins".[/QUOTE]
I came to mention this one. Greatest joke evah!
If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder!
You’re Thor? I can hardly thit down!
Ok, I’ve waited over 24 hours for someone else to post this, but here goes:
That’s a big word for an eight year old.
Ah, what the hell, I’ll do two more:
Because there’s 20 of them.
and:
I can see my house from here.
Sgt Schwartz
So much for that idea. Almost no one seems to be following this.
“Sheep lies!”
Tag! You’re it!
Look both ways before you cross the street.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs Humping?
Frank Drebin in Naked Gun 2 1/2 - “Lady, I don’t think I could take sixty-seven more of those!”
Some great (old) jokes in this thread – good idea! Two of my favs…
You don’t understand… Chunks is my dog! :eek:
and
But your honor–I didn’t say she was acting silly, I said she was fucking Goofy!
Would punchlines to puns (shaggy dog stories) count?
Oppornockity tunes but once
The Bee-wares of the Isdom Arch siezer
People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones
Silly rabbi, Kix are for Tryds
Yeast is yeast and jest is jest but never the Maine shall tweet
…and a few billion others
My favourite Shaggy Dog Story Punchline:
“I can’t tell you, you’re not a Monk!”
I’d be very surprised if anyone’s familiar with the associated SDS, though…
raises hand
Here’s another.
Nice trade, Mr. President
Maybe if you pet him, he’ll let you.
One is a cunning array of stunts.
I just wish it was dark
And the cabbie says, “Buddy, I been asked that question about a thousand times, but never before in the pluperfect subjunctive”.
There is no way I’m going to vote for a dumb SOB who can’t tell the difference between a steamboat and a bull with a bugle up its ass.
It’s OK, I turned the hose around.
No, Ole, those nails are for the other side of the roof.
…and the Lutheran minister came out with the coffee pot.
My wife is from Minnesota.
That Superman is one mean drunk.
No seriously thats just ice cream on my face!
Finally the Farmer said “JEEEEZUS ROVER! Now get out from underneath there before that man SHITS on you!”