Q: What were the last words heard in Jonestown?
A: My left hand, then my right.
Q: What feels like a stranger, then familiar?
A: Because I said so!!!
Q: Why do I have to have kinky sex?
A: Fjords
Q: What’s the worst car made in Ajmerica?
A: Inside, outside and all around.
Q: Where’s the best place to have sex in winter?
A: Cowboy boots, chaps, and a Stetson.
Q: Aren’t we supposed to be answering the previous post’s question?
A: In my car.
Q: Where would be the best place for Laurie Dhue to be right now?
A: About 7.
Q: How many inches is satisfactory?
A: 2 bottles of cheap wine
(Lobsang: I did answer the previous post’s question!)
Q: How many hamsters in pink tutus just went by?
A: Dick, Tom, and Harry.
Q: (I shall succeed in compromising the double post) Does anyone have a good recipe for a size 10 hangover.
A: Midgets.
Q: OK, darling, I know you’ve been having an affair… but who with?
A: Take the elevator.
Q: Who stole my apple?!
A: the piano delivery woman.
(I didn’t mean you samarm)
Q: In a mud-pit, who should an operatic soprano wrestle?
A: Dr. Evil.
Q: I happen to have a crate of sharks with freakin’ lasers on their heads. Any ideas?
A: Dale Earnhardt.
Q: In the Warner Bros. cartoon characters NASCAR series, who is the biggest rival of Chip Bodine?
A: Bikini bottoms
Q: What was the newspaper headline when swimwear stocks crashed on the market?
A: And Jill came tumbling down.
Q: Did you really try roof jumping?
A: Twist to open.
How do I get in Chubby Checker’s coffin?
crap crap crap. “Sorry! The administrator has specified that users can only post one message every 60 seconds.”
A: He’s an idiot!
Q: What does Scott Peterson’s lawyer think of his client?
A: These pretzels are making me thirsty.