Q: Where did you bury all the bodies after that accident with the tub of Vaseline and the hot wax candles at the last kinky sex party?
A: A roundhouse kick, followed by a demon horns strike.
Q: What constitutes foreplay for Bippy?
A: A shotgun, a rifle and 4-wheel drive
Q: What does verbenabeast look for in a woman?
A: Curl Defining
Q. What was the name of the movie about the guy who cloned dinosaurs from the Lakesidean Epoch and put them out as exhibits in flimsy enclosures, with the obvious consequences?
A. 96, South Carolina
I didn’t see a new page – mine was to “Lakeside Park” back on the last page. Start from DeVena’s:
A: Curl Defining
and ignore mine!
Q: How does a marketer put a positive spin on electric shocks?
A: Don’t blame me! It was the Devil talking!
Q: Why did you ritualisticly murder Jay Gatsby?
A: Meyer Wolfsheim ordered it.
Q: Why does baseball suck so much?
A: The greatest moment in the history of any human civilization
Q: What do you call the first toilet training ever?
A: Anal-retentive.
Q: What should every good colonoscope bag be?
A: Orange on a green background.
Q: What colors should I make this map of Northern Ireland?
A: A hare raising experience
Q: How did the rabbit farmer describe his life?
A: She walks in beauty like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that’s best of dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes, thus mellow’d to that tender light, which heaven to gaudy day denies.
Q: What’s the concept for Christina Aguilera’s next video?
A: The worst thing was the smell. You can’t describe the smell.
Q: What did you think of my house?
A: A floppy disk and a pear tree.
Q: What do you give on the first day of Christmas when you can’t find a partridge?
A: The South Side of Milwaukee.
Q: How do Wisconsinians describe Chicago?
A: Perpetual virginity and the beatific vision
Q: What are the two main causes of compulsive masturbation? (Get it? “Beatific” vision?)
A: You can sleep in the barn as long as you don’t touch my beautiful daughter.
Q. What did grandpa say to Dad the night you two met?
A. I’m just glad I have two feet.
Q: What should farmers NOT tell traveling salesmen?
A: “Drink now, because you’re going to die in the morning”
Q: What has Governor Quinn been telling himself every night for the last 10 years or so?
A: whiplash segue