Q: Why are you wrapped in Northern toilet paper?
Q: Hey, you’re a bird watcher. What are these birds outside my window?
A: Green Jello
Q: How did they create the alien monsters in the 1950’s sci-fi classic, “It came from planet X”?
A: Polycarp wearing a very large jumper and fishnet stockings.
Q: What is the most horrific sight you’ve ever seen? 
A: Red is good, but purple is better
Q: How can I tell when my grip is getting stronger?
A: one if by land… two if by sea…
Q. What’s the rallying cry of the Grape Party?
A. This thread.
Q: What’s the latest sign of the apocalypse?
A: Axl Rose’s gym shorts.
Q: whats the last thing you want to see laying on the floor of your bedroom?
A: a lightsocket
Q: What is the worst thing you have ever eaten?
A: The Oakland Raider’s locker room floor.
Q: How’d your mom hurt her back?
A: Saltpeter and a technical manual.
Q: 'Beast… what’s Your recipe for a perfect weekend?
A: Jack Daniels Ol’ no.7 Whiskey… and a swift kick to the 'nads
Q: How do you cure a broken heart?
A: A plate of Brain’s Faggots in onion gravey with mashed potatoes.
Q: What would 'Beast’s butt look like in a speedo?
A: Boom, Boom out go the Lights
Q: What were the rejected lyrics for the jazz classic “Like the beat-beat-beat of the tom-tom, when the jungle shadows fall”?
A: Child is the father of man.
Q: What is the relationship between Sir Thomas Child and David Man?
A: Why, yes, it certainly can.
Q: What did the Zen master say after he drank a bottle of Jack Daniels Ol’ no.7 Whiskey and then was kicked in the 'nads?
A: Wibble.
Q: What is the opposite of wobble?
A: Planter’s Roasted Nuts
Q: What is the only thing they found after Plnter’s trailer burned to the ground?
A: dreamcatcher
Q: Who plays behind the plate in a MLB “dream team”?
A: Sister Bertha Better-than-you
Q. Who is second only to The Mother Superior?
A. Because Adam and Eve weren’t Canadian.
Q: Why is the Garden of Eden exactly antithetical to anything in Canada?
A: Lester Pearson thinks that’s the best thing to do.