Q: Why do all Canadians, repeatedly, “stand on guard for thee”?
A: the Eumenides and the Hekatoncheires
(Wow, Poly, talk about some obscure mythological references)
Q: What are the names of Greece’s women’s and men’s national basketball teams, respectively?
A: Eight year olds, Dude.
Q: Who ok’s the scripts for the Star Wars prequels?
A: A freak lava lamp accident
Q: Dude, why are you walking like that?
A: Tom Petty and Scooby Doo.
Q: Name two people that hang out with stoners.
A: Well, the left right is a little low.
Q: What is considered a major insult by goosesteppers?
A: Thomas Kyd stole my bacon.
Q: What’s december’s opinion of the moral value of the freedom claimed by Liberals?
A: The Bald Soprano and the Exhibitionist
Q: Poly what makes you think this film was directed by Peter Greenaway?
A: Just give me the whole Monty.
– Poly you started the summoning spell 
Q: Your Honor, what can I do to convince you to set my client free?
A: You should have seen what they pulled out of my other nostril!
Q: How do Cyrano and Durante do oneupmanship?
A: Ze answer, ma cherie, eez zat I am een…'ow dyou say?..in lurv with you!
Q: Monseur aasna quelle raison pour le grande batton dans vous pantaloons?
A: Miss Scarlet, in the Library, with the cnadle stick.
Q: What did the latest book on the Kennedy assassination conclude?
A: Cream of Broccoli
Q: What would the Mocking Turtle not approve of?
A: Candi will strip for you.
(Bippy, sex change on the Monsieur, please…)
Q: Lets see… I need to strip AND refinish this chest-of-drawers… will Candi help?
A:somewhere in the distance
Q: Do you remember where I put the horizon?
A: A tumor the size of a basketball
Q: what was on the appetizer tray at the Monsters Ball?
A: a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Q. What’s first prize in the Dick Shawn lookalike contest?
A. Because Chuck D left The Osmonds in 1987.
Q: Why don’t I know who Chuck D is?
A: Charlize Theron and a bagel.
Q: lieu what do you like to wake up to on a Sunday morning?
A: Walking on the Moon.
Q: What, under no circumstances, should be confused with the moonwalk?
A: Fehr, Herson, Barris, and Larkin, Attorneys at Law.