Q. Name four people who are glad you scalded yourself with hot coffee.
A. Seven hours and three marmosets later
Q: At what point di you think “I’ll try a gerbil”?
A: texas hold’em
Q: What’s the next step after “Missouri Show Me” in seduction?
A: Everything but anchovies
Q: What Iron Chef theme ingredients would you like me to cover you with?
A: Carol Channing and a bottle of Windex.
Q: Name two things that don’t go down too good.
A: Like ferrets on acid.
Q: How did my two brothers fight when we were growing up?
A: The fan won’t fit in the window.
Side note: The answer to the Carol Channing and Windex question was damn funny.
Q:“Did you hear about the leper who after he slept with a prostitute told her she could keep the tip,… anyway why is there a fan in the door?”
A: It reminds me of my prom night.
Q: What answer did the Jewish father give when his son asked “Why is this night different from all other nights?”?
A: Because the goat was drinking straight rum.
Q: Why is your bedroom so messy?
A: The Opti-Grab and a drink umbrella.
Q: What are two things that can make you go cross-eyed?
A: That’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Q: Isn’t marijuana illegal in this country?
A: The games that vampires play.
Q: What do you suck at?
A: Phenut buuuttr hon de rhoof huv mah moufe.
Q. Why can’t you talk after giving Peter Pan a blowjob?
A. PC LOAD LETTER
Q: What the f*ck does this mean?
A: 2 soft-shell tacos, Mexican rice and a large drink.
Q: What did the soft-shell crab have for dinner?
A: Stuck in my zipper!
Q. Where do you want these lemmings, sir?
A. In a gadda da vida, baby.
Q: Where do you keep yout iron butterflies?
A: Wham, bam, thankyou mam.
Q. What’s the proper way to discipline Barney and Betty’s son? And would you like a mint?
A. Surplus Inventory
Q. Which knight has the silliest name?
A. Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream
Q: Where did you find those pasties you’re wearing?
A: Smegma.