Q: What’s up for bidding on ebay today?
A: Out, damned spot! Out, out I say!
Q: Dr. John… what the heck is that thing on your head?!?
A: a bale of hay, three darvocets, and a sharp stick
AAAARRRGGHH!!!
Q for Diogenes: What did Bill Clinton say while for the 1 hour cleaners to finish with Monica’s dress?
and THEN
A: a bale of hay, three darvocets, and a sharp stick
Q: What should you always bring with you when going to milk a bull?
A: It looked better on him backwards.
Q. Why did the Chicago Bears ask the NFL to allow William “the Refrigerator” Perry to wear his helmet in an unconventional way?
A. Anna Nicole Smith and Laurence Olivier
Q: Who would you like to drill in the teeth?
A: I & II Fallopians
Q. Where can you find the Biblical account of Jesus’s journey into Cervica, Ovaria, and Labia Minor (where he delivered the Sermon on the Mons)?
A. A wombat in a pear tree
Q: Where did you hide your eggs this Easter?
A: A bucket full of Sherbet Dip, and a straw.
Q. Hey, Pa, what are we going to use to keep parasites out of the sherbet? And what can I use to suck this lemonade out of my glass?
A. Dr John must really be enjoying this thread!
Q: Why’s that guy yelling “I’ve found my Special Purpose”?
A: Go crazy with the cheese whiz.
Q. What’s the surest way to get mental health leave while working for Kraft?
A. Who’s that girl, running around with you?
Q: What is the song they were playing on the radio when you first feltched a goat?
A: To avoid a mess, allways wear a plastic apron.
Q: What is rule number one in Bippy’s Handy Dandy Goat Felcher’s Field Guide?
A: One for the money, two for the show…
Q: What’s the point of getting 3 whores?
A: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Q: Think we’ll ever find the WMDs?
A: No deposit, no return.
Q: Why bother wearing a condom?
A: A pickle, silly.
Q: Okay, what did the woman with the impotent husband want the cucumber for?
A: An emu and two koalas
Q: Name the entire contents of Dame Edna Everage’s fan club?
A: Because, without doing that, their would be no chance of Polycarp becoming president!
Q: Why would you POSSIBLY want every man woman and child in the United States to disappear suddenly?!?!
A: Reap the Whirlwind
Q: What can verbenabeast expect to do for the question in that last post?
A: When pigs fly and Bippy grows a beard, that’s when!