Q: When WILL Polycarp be President?!
(sorry I couldnt help myself…)
A: Get your tongue outta my mouth, I’m kissin’ you goodbye!
Q: What did the goat say to beat when they kissed after feltching?
A: No man is an island.
Q: What proverb will Lobsang disagree with?
A: “Just lucky, I guess!”
Q: “Polycarp, how on earth did you win 97% of the vote?”
A: Moby Dick, Jaws, and the Three Little Pigs
Q: What are nicknames not to give your brother-in-law, mother-in law, and three sisters-in-law, respectively?
A: I read it in an article in Teen People.
Q: So what’s your evidence for your claim that Aaron Carter was the greatest entertainer of the 20th Century, anyway?
A: From the Trollberg Mountains, of course!
Q: Where do trolls come from?
A: Bruce Willis turns out to be dead.
Q: What is the real secret behind the Bible Code?
A: Wolverines and maple syrup
Q: What is the breakfast of champions?
A: Sharon Osbourne made me do it.
Q: Ozzy, why do you still tour at your age?
A: Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Q: So what did you do with Elaine last night?
A: A bag of Corn nuts and a wedge of cheese.
Q. what do i want to eat?
A. the giant robot with a sword and lasers and nasty stuff like that would definetly kill the pichu with a sword!
Q: What do you think about when you don’t take your medicine?
A: It’s always been that color.
Q: Why is our school mascot, the Chipmunk, painted a bright fuschia?
A: They found my Dodge Dakota at the bottom of the lake.
Q: Why were the police calling you at three in the morning?
A: I bought strawberries, incense, a toothbrush and magic markers.
Q. What did you do with the money Satan gave you for your soul?
A. Because the umpire was a raving lunatic.
Q: Why didn’t you like playing baseball on Ecstacy?
A: Skip and go naked.
Q: What did you do the day you were supposed to be attending school with your girlfriend, back in eighth grade?
A: A piece of raspberry cheesecake, a roll of electrical tape, an electro-massage wand, and three gerbils.
Q: What did The Dumb Guy travelling with The Three Wise Men bring?
A: A good book, a cold beer and a squirrel in your pocket.
Q: 'Beast… how would you define the perfect afternoon?
A: 3 card monty