Q: 'beast, in this deck that we’re playing cards with, why are the Jacks of Spades, Diamonds, and Clubs naked?
A: Quintana Roo
Q: What will most likely be my porn name?
A: The whole room smells like saurkraut.
Q: Why did your dog take off running from the house like a bat out of hell?
A: It was the only cigarette I had left.
Q: Why did you beat that man senseless with a tire iron when he asked to bum a cigarrette from you?
A: Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and a basket of turtles.
Q: What’s gay, successful and hard to hold onto?
A: They told me it was blackberry custard.
Q: Why’re you carrying a baggie of Black Tar Heroin, QGG?
A: You don’t understand! I have feelings!
Q: Aasna, didn’t I tell you to stop stalking and threatening your old high school sweetheart?
A: Moist; yet not overly so.
Q: What is the weather like in Alabama today?
A: Rentals drive Condo Market.
Q: Who drives the condo market again?
A: Lord Randolph Churchill.
Q: Can you name that other Churchill?
A: Because my damn head hurts, that’s why.
Q: Why have you stopped the trepaning?
A: Cream Cheese can be used as a substitute, in emergencies.
Q. What if my first-born would rather play basketball than be sacrificed?
A. A year’s membership in the Gyro of the Month Club.
Q: What is the grand prize in your folk-dancing contest?
A: crispy outside, with a warm, gooey center
Q: What does a Polar Bear think of an Igloo?
A: Never attempt this during a thunder storm.
Q: What did they show on the screen when ESPN televised the 25th Annual Lighting-Rod Juggling Championships?
A: “Disraeli, Gladstone, or the Marques of Salisbury?”
Q: Can you name people who aren’t half as interesting as the Marquis de Sade?
A: There’s a man drilling a large hole in the side of my house. I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask him to.
Q: Why did you just call Jerry Springer?
A: Kool Aid Magic Twists, Vodka, and a cherry on top.
Q: I’m headin’ over to the bar, Krys Bring ya anything?
A: Wonder Twin Powers… ACTIVATE!
Q: What do I say to myself when I push my breasts together?
A: On a desert island with your cousin.
Q: Where did you spend your last vacation, KCSuze?
A: I don’t know if I should…there’s some funny looking green stuff in it.