Q: Can you ask me a question that has a question for the answer?
A: Two turntables and a microphone.
Q. Didn’t you understand me when I said Get Back?
A. It’s a long way to Tiperarry.
Q: Why should I fill up my gas tank before going on vacation?
A: I must have forgotten to decline.
Q: How did you get appointed Ambassador to Burkina Faso?
A: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
Q: What did you dream about last night?
A: Power and politics.
Q: What temptations will Polycarp face in the coming ellection?
A: All the pussy you can eat.
Q: What’s so great about doggie heaven?
A: A voice said to me,“Don’t kill the buffalo.”
Q: Why were you trying to strangle that elephant?
A: Clearasil Pads
Q: What makes acne run like it’s never ran before?
A: Too much pepper. Way too much pepper.
Q: What’s the matter with your milk?
A: It’s squirted out in a large, lazy arc.
Q: What happened when you used the garden hose with the hole in it?
A: There’s a time and a place for everything.
Q: QueerGeekGirl… why in the name of all that is holy are you hanging from the ceiling fan, nekkid, clucking like a chicken?
A: A pint of stout
Q: What’s better than a pint of wimpy?
A: She shaved her back.
Q: How did verbenabeast know that his girlfriend was cheating on him?
A: Songs for Swingin’ Lovers
Q: What was QueerGeekGirl clucking wlist upon the ceiling fan?
A: Rock and Roll never forgets
Q: Why don’t the Osmands reform?
A: Always choose the red one!
Q: What did the yellow M&M say to the firing squad?
A: Surfing cows.
Q: What will be in the next California dairy product commercial?
A: Roy Jenkins, eating mashed potatoes.
Q: What do you think about when you need to avoid an erection?
A: Press the clutch and brake peddle firmly.
Q: How do you make the hard sell on a manual transmission car without an accelerator?
(Assuming that Bippy meant to have a comma after “brake”)
A: Seventy-four and a half, unless it was a Tuesday.