Q: What was your daily alcohol consumption in college?
A: The butler did it.
Q: Who spelled out “You Suck, Madame” on the dining room table in our finest silverware?
A: Geraldo Rivera and a copy of Barb Wire
Q: What drove me to hang from said ceiling fan, clucking like a chicken?
A: verbenabeast told me to take four, and not to call her in the morning.
Q: QGG, Why did I find you at noon in bed with two-thirds of the Wellesley College soccer team first squad?
A: “Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimneytops”
Q. Where’d the Exctasy Lab Bust happen?
A. 25, or 6 to 4.
Q: What’s the most cryptic album title ever?
A: Kill the wabbit!
Q: What’s the accurate translation of Deuteronomy 36:3 according to the Fuddite sect?
A: A basketball, KY jelly, whipped cream, masking tape, and a 12-inch dildo
Q: What do you not want to find after returning from a long business trip.
A: The top of the Sears Tower.
Q: Where did Polycarp find me in bed with the girls from the Wellsley soccer team?
A: Some like it hot.
Q: Why did you mix Tobasco in with the KY jelly?
A: A pearl necklace would be wondeful.
Q: How can we end this blowjob so you can pronounce your r’s again?
A: Two turtle doves.
Q: What kind of chocolatey, caramely, pecany goodness should we get from one of the world’s finest makers of ice cream products?
A: He can’t do it unless you bring more styrofoam.
Q: Why in the blue fuck didn’t the electrician fix my personal massager?
A: Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Q: So, how are you going to kill your grandmother?
A: An airship, two Enoch Light albums, and the entire Milwaukee Republican Party.
Q. What ended up in the Lost and Found box at a recent Brewers game?
A. He was too tall for the Supreme Court.
Q: How did OJ get away with it?
A: Purple Rain
Q: Why was raisinbread running around on the lawn in the nude?
A: In bed with a giant squid and the Miskatonic University cheerleading squad
Q: You caught Bippy WhERE?!?!
A:It’s ROlling, Baby!!
Q: Don’t you think In a Gadda da Vida really rocks, beast?
A: Only when I’m sober.
Q: knock knock, when do you not think about Roseanne Barr while masturbating?
A: Ten lords a-leapin’