Q: How many drunks does it take to screw in some sort of illumination device?
A: Where in the hell did that come from?
Q: How many drunks does it take to screw in some sort of illumination device?
A: Where in the hell did that come from?
Q: Anyone mind if I park my llama here?
A: It only works if you jiggle it.
Q: How do you get that llama to go?
A: Because my back hurts!!
Q. Winona, what do you need all those pain killers for?
A. Goooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!
Q: Do you say anything when you orgasm?
A: Your mom.
Q: who do you orgasm with?
A: earwax and a stapler.
Q: How do you repair a split condom?
A: The sum of all earthly pleasures.
Q: What, according to Jerry Falwell, does St. Paul forbid?
A: Love, death, and the American novel.
Q. What is the title of Ukelele Ike’s upcoming memoirs?
A. The moose says you’re closed, I say you’re open.
Q: What was the title of 1978’s least successful country song?
A: Fairies wear boots.
Q: Why didn’t Liberace track mud on his kitchen floor?
A: Anti-Bacterial Hand Gel.
Q: How do you differentiate wood folk on camping trips?
A: Bamboo and tall ladders.
Q: Okay, jokester, how do elephants get into trees in the first place?
A: With a pencil and a pad he figured it out.
Q: How does an Engineer knowm that he exists?
A: With a hay and a ho and a hay-diddle-doe.
Q: How do you court a Shakespearean heroine?
A: Quaaludes and a fifth of bourbon.
– sorry to interupt, but I’ve been dropping letters for a while now. Suddenly today an extra m turns up. I think my keyboard is connected to the sock-dimension –
Q: How does one get to sleep arround here?
A: a bump on the head would do wonders.
Q: How can we get Bush to re-think his tax plan?
A: I don’t know, but I sure am gassy today
Q: What happened to that pot of bean stew on the stove, and by the way, did you realize you were sleepwalking again?
A: Because giraffes can’t fly, that’s why!
Q: Did someone just say “a hot water bottle wattle”?
A: Three miles across the water, wearing nothing but ski pants.
Q: Hey, where did jjimm go?
A: It’s right next to Uranus