Question and Answer thread

Q: How many drunks does it take to screw in some sort of illumination device?

A: Where in the hell did that come from?

Q: Anyone mind if I park my llama here?

A: It only works if you jiggle it.

Q: How do you get that llama to go?

A: Because my back hurts!!

Q. Winona, what do you need all those pain killers for?

A. Goooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!

Q: Do you say anything when you orgasm?

A: Your mom.

Q: who do you orgasm with?
A: earwax and a stapler.

Q: How do you repair a split condom?

A: The sum of all earthly pleasures.

Q: What, according to Jerry Falwell, does St. Paul forbid?

A: Love, death, and the American novel.

Q. What is the title of Ukelele Ike’s upcoming memoirs?

A. The moose says you’re closed, I say you’re open.

Q: What was the title of 1978’s least successful country song?

A: Fairies wear boots.

Q: Why didn’t Liberace track mud on his kitchen floor?

A: Anti-Bacterial Hand Gel.

Q: How do you differentiate wood folk on camping trips?

A: Bamboo and tall ladders.

Q: Okay, jokester, how do elephants get into trees in the first place?

A: With a pencil and a pad he figured it out.

Q: How does an Engineer knowm that he exists?

A: With a hay and a ho and a hay-diddle-doe.

Q: How do you court a Shakespearean heroine?

A: Quaaludes and a fifth of bourbon.

– sorry to interupt, but I’ve been dropping letters for a while now. Suddenly today an extra m turns up. I think my keyboard is connected to the sock-dimension –

Q: How does one get to sleep arround here?

A: a bump on the head would do wonders.

Q: How can we get Bush to re-think his tax plan?

A: I don’t know, but I sure am gassy today

Q: What happened to that pot of bean stew on the stove, and by the way, did you realize you were sleepwalking again?

A: Because giraffes can’t fly, that’s why!

Q: Did someone just say “a hot water bottle wattle”?

A: Three miles across the water, wearing nothing but ski pants.

Q: Hey, where did jjimm go?

A: It’s right next to Uranus