Q: What is Eddie the Eagles latest fund raising stunt?
A: A newt up each nostril, and a frog in you codpiece.
Q. What’s the difference between System Startup Fairies and System Shutdown Gnomes?
A. Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?
Ugh, oops. Wrong damn answer/question. Let’s try this again.
Q. What’s the best way to attract flies?
A. Sixteen men on a dead man’s chest.
Q: What are the lyrics written by Hendrix about ‘Joe Demon’ and his previous wife?
A: It’s right next to Uranus – from lightingtool
Q: Where’s the nearest black hole?
A: Down to the turnstiles.
Q: What makes the subway entrance look feathery?
A: Second star to the right.
Q: Which dead celebrity did you want?
A: I just finished it; took me four days.
Q: What’s your longest orgasm?
A: Don’t be silly, ice cream doesn’t have bones!
Q. What did Michael Moore snack on while he was waiting for his award at the Oscars?
A.: Simon said I suck.
[Let me try that again, damn simulposts]
(re; Nogginhead’s post)
Q: Could this stuff from the back of the fridge be Ben and Jerry’s?
A: Simon said I suck.
Q: Wanna play “Simon Says”?
A: That thing sticking out of my left ear.
Q: What is the new Aural sex toy?
A: 2.3 inches long and shaped like a mushroom.
Q: What did Simon say I should suck?
A: Exquisite dead guy, hanging from a sky hook.
Q: Jimmy Durante’s nose is what?
A: Exquisite dead guy, hanging from a sky hook.
Q: What is Damien Hurst’s newest installation called?
A: Two pounds of lard,
One pound of sultanas,
1 table spoon of self raising flower,
1 tablespoon of sugar,
A pinch of salt
Q: What are the ingredients of a Big Mac?
A: Bigger than a baby’s arm
–IDB
Q: What are little boys made of?
A: It’s just thunder.
oh god, not again
Q: How would you discribe Thor’s Hammer?
A: The blue fish and the red fish.
Q: which of those new Day-Glo seafood products should really be avoided?
A: I’m going to Disneyland.