Q: Why can’t you take out the trash?
A: Check out my gravel pit.
What book should I get at the library?
OOPS!
Q: What book should I get at the library?
A: Tommy Franks and the cast of Chicago.
Good save, MonkeyWrench.
I was just about to post that you really threw a you into this thread, but nooooo!
Q: Who just wasted 2 hours of my life?
A: Pee Wee Herman and Barney
Q: Who costarred in the lowest-grossing porn flic of all time?
A: If I could save time in a bottle.
Q: I’d have something to do with all these damned bottles if I could do what?
A. Only when it feels threatened.
Q: Holy cow!! Is that thing always that big?
A: 2 bottles of vodka and Johnny Cash
Q: What do you take into the shower with you?
A: The Australian National Anthem.
Q: What was your wedding song?
A: Light, crisp and refreshing.
Q: Ozzy, what did that bat’s head taste like?
A: I had a bee in my pants.
Q: Why are your pants oozing honey?
A: No, it was her sister.
Q: Was that international singing star Madonna?
A: It only runs on Tuesdays.
Q: Why have there been fewer Amtrak derailings?
A: A tattoo of Gilbert Gottfried.
Q:hat’s that on Madona’s left butt cheek?
A: Ross and Monica
Q: What does Madona call her breasts?
A: That’s what you say, you say that I am.
Q: Why are you calling yourself Saddam?
A: A genital herpes outbreak.
Q: (going along with the theme) Why did Madonna cancel her world tour?
A: Two rights, a left, and there you are!
Q: How did a Viking get to Valhalla?
A: It showed up one day on Nixon’s chair.
Q: Where did Henry Kissinger come from?\
A: 36 is good, 42 in better