Q: What’s the driving force behind China’s secretive society?
A: Bea Arthur in a mumu.
Q: what is the most horrific sight known to man?
A: Evil Clowns bearing seltzer bottles… and they ain’t afraid ta use 'em!
Q: Beast what do you think of the I.C.P.?
A: 6:30 PM, at Waterloo train station, wearing a pink carnation, and carrying an umbrella.
Q: Where was Elvis last spotted?
A: The reign in Spain.
Q: What is the title of the upcoming made for TV movie about Francisco Franco
A: Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses.
Q: What makes you paranoid?
A: Coffin nails.
Q: What, by statute, are cigarettes labeled as in 9 states?
A: Remove your genitalia, change your name to Herbie, and join the Merchant Marine.
Q: As President of this great country how could I serve the people better?
A: If you build it out of sand.
Q: How can the taxpayers afford a new stadium for the Cardinals in St. Louis?
A: Conan O’Brien’s third guest of the night.
Q: Who have the cannibals selected for the main course?
A: Its clumsy, expensive, and it screams like an 8 year old girl on a tilt-a-whirl, but god it feels good to rub my nipples against it.
Q: How’s your new girlfriend, drachillix?
A: My best friend’s hollow fairy collection.
Q: Where can I find a hungry elf and a starving pixie?
A: Sitting in a shed, wearing wellies and carrying a shotgun.
Q: Whatever happened to that swell Grapist fellow?
A: That was the day that Mr. Splitfoot joined the SDMB.
(yes, I know I’m asking for it, so BRING IT ON)
Q: When’s the last time you had an erection?
A: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thee.
Q: When’s the last time you had an erection?
A: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thee.
Q: If we shall marry on a summers eve, I shall need:
A: Maximillion and Monica.
Q: What do the M’s stand for on M n’ M sweets?
A: Just give me three good men and strong.
Q: Could you please say something confusing?
A: That’s gonna bite someone in the ass.
Q: Why don’t you like my idea for Piranha Hot Pants?
A: Sorry, I miss remembered an old quote.
Q: Why do you keep going on about Remembered an old quote?
A: Fried pork chops, greens, a salad and a Sierra Mist.