Q: What film should never be played at a stag party?
A: Suck hard, but don’t bite.
Q: What is a useless instruction to give to a woodchuck?
A: Leo, get me my spatula, on the double!
Q. How does Governor Quinn let his houseboy know that he has been naughty?
A. He’s got a real bad attitude for a troll.
Q. Why is Bob on “time-out” again?
A. Billions and billions of years ago.
Q:How long has this thread been alive?
A: Calvin and the Colonel.
Q: Name a comic strip from the Eocene.
A: A mile wide and an inch deep.
Q. How big are Anna Nicole Smith’s nipples.
A. About as big as a midget’s fist.
Q: How large is a small person’s heart?
A: That thing should win some kind of a prize.
Q: How do you like my dynomite?
A: Eww, there’s a bustle in that hedgerow!
Q: Where has the May Queen gone with that lieu chap?
A: Just dial 1 800-Big-John, if omly the very best will do.
Q: How can I order fancy toilets?
A: My best friend’s girlfriend.
Q: Who did your best friend catch you with?
A: Anthony Imperiale and Costa-Gavras.
Q: Who would you chose to make the Sponge Bob Square Pants movie?
A: Always chose the Missionary position.
Q: How should a Lay person have sex?
A: They come in bunches.
Q: Where does broccoli come from?
A: Here kitty, kitty, kitty!
Q: Did you know we’re out of dog food?
A: The eye of the needle.
Q. What did that camel just pass through?
A. The sound and the fury.
Q: How’d you know she crapped her pants?
A: Bigger than a breadbox.
Q: Well how large was your left testicle, after your experiment with saline solution injections?
A: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, Rich man, Poor man, Beggar man, Thief.
Q: So, Miss N—, can you describe the eight men who assaulted you as you left the grounds of the nursery school?
A: “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me”