Q: what did Brian Mulroney say after his successor and her political party was demolished in the 1993 federal election?
A: Wow! It’s so soft!! How did you do it?
Q: Why are you impressed at my stuffed armadillo?
A: That’s something that many men have wanted to know over the years.
Q: Which is bigger, and which is softer-Dolly Parton, or the front of a 1951 Cadillac?
A: I’m sure you’ll come to understand it in time, Wally.
Q: What was the first thing Waldo (from Where’s Waldo) hear when he ended up in Hell?
A: I had to use a monkey wrench and two pints of ky jelly.
Q: How did you escape from the inside of a '38 Cord?
A: Everyone knows.
Q: Why the underwhelming reaction to my “I slept with a nine-foot superintelligent lobster” post (yay crossovers!)?
A: Because the Grinch was high as a kite.
Q: Why’s there a “who” who is dressed as a knight?
A: Because I was wearing rubber underpants.
Q: Why did I smell burning latex while you were slow dancing with Al?
A: Because bunnies are much less expensive than F-14s.
Q: Why did you spend the defense budget on rabbits and rabbit feed?
A: The Fudd Brothers.
Q: Name the rock band that was started by Elmer after Loonie Toons terminated his contract.
A: Household bleach, congealed oatmeal, and a chipmunk.
Q: What makes up the latest miracle weight loss food bar?
A: Straight ahead Andy, because the thread must continue.
Q: What direction should Mr. Williams go in?
A: A Pslofitacticapparetyionic Thing.
Q: What was the item Brenda purchased at the dollar store, hoping to restore the passion she and Brandon knew from their college days?
A: Crystalline picric acid.
Q: What did the TSA screeners find in your luggage at Cinci last week?
A: Ten years or thirty thousand dollars.
Q: Has the jury decided on a sentence?
A: Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today…
Q: Have a good time at your kinky sex pary last night?
A: A box of ginger thins, a pack of cigarettes, and a cordless phone.
Q: What did the police find Grandpa carrying after he’d gotten away from the home?
A: The first step is to tenderize the buffalo, which can take a while.
Q: How come you keep running over that buffalo carcass in the road?
A: Going on 20 days now.
Q: How long has it been since you’ve been able to poo?
A: Seventeen bowling balls.
Q: what will it take to hammer some sense into him?!
A: in a few more hours it won’t matter…